winning

what if winning is the only way of winning

and winning is the only way of losing

what am i supposed to make of it


it is a really stupid word

as is that

wanting to understand

i beat my head on that wall for a while

not so much any more


trying is just another affirmation

of what we lack

sacred

a very special word

which we all interpret

in our own way

until we don't

vulnerable

no one seems to like being vulnerable

and yet we all are

in spite of all our defenses and weapons


courage is a fools errand

bravery a lost cause


what we are is so far greater

than we can be


unless we are willing to be as we are

which ain't been all that popular in my time

everyone is trying to be someone

or something

and life has become so little for so many

she

so many secrets

that were not for me


perhaps i should examine

my secrets

to find our common ground

a spartan trailer

spent a lot of my younger years

in a spartan trailer

seems like one of them may have been a shultz

not sure if i spelled that right

that was quite a while ago

before the pubic hair began growing

a book i am reading

Rilke's Book of Hours

love poems to god

translated by anita barrows and joanna macy

with a new introduction by the translators

which i liked very much


so far i very much like this book

why can't we just get along

i have been asked that

and have wondered about that


too much focus on our differences

and not so much on our sameness

seems to create an imbalance

it seems to me

pride

one of the many faces of shame

explain

some try to explain their self

and some lie


the wisest men i ever knew

would not explain their self to me

or the wisest women i ever knew


none of them even tried

girls i love

the list is pretty long

am a very lucky guy

the rug

there is no joy in being the rug

that has never been walked upon

or the bridge

that has never been crossed

or the eye

that has never seen

or the being

that has never been with a being

bless

the only way to bless your self

is to bless all others

and all that is

and is not

competition

war and conflict

are not the path to peace and cooperation

the scars are often too great


we want so much

and don't even know what we have

the life that has us

gods lonliness

can anyone bear the pain of gods loneliness

welcome to life

as life has become on our watch

hope

hope is just beating a dead horse

as they used to say


belief is just more of the same

religion

have known a few with what i call a religious nature

they have been my few friends


have not yet been comfortable

with those with religious ideas


i have no idea of what life is

yet i love life still


even here in this land of crimes against humanity

and the creatures of the field

and the field

unity

almost none of that here in our time

most just make deals

and there is great chaos upon the land


we were not born to dominate this land and these creatures

we were born to preserve this land and these creatures


our desires for control and domination

have the potential to destroy this land and these creatures


and a great sadness is upon the land

and our fellow creatures


there is only one life here

and we are all part of that one life


all is where we come from

and all is what we are

passion

mostly feared by modern day women

played with by a few


men of passion are almost unheard of today

mostly i just see emotional disturbances

on each side of a fence

presenting life

we all represent life

with all that we do

at every moment of our life

whether we know it or not

or like it or not

or even care


our falsehoods misrepresent life

they

just another word for me

family

all is family

nothingness

it is the nothingness between us

that defines us

stop

slow down

relax

eat real food

drink clean water

breathe the light


life is for giving

what we give is what we are

or maybe just what we choose to be


and choosing is a very dangerous game

which always leads to some form of isolation


all is what we are

and all we can ever actually be


our selectiveness is the source of all our discomfort

and all the other nastiness we see around us


rejection of any form of life

is a rejection of what we are

we are all that we see

and all we do not see

and whatever else life is

an astrology comment

mars and jupiter

the celebration of what is

venus and saturn

the celebration of what was


the sun

perhaps the celebration of what we are now


and the moon still wonders


mercury just thinks about all this stuff

and wonders too



uranus and neptune and pluto

are the parts of our self we don't know about yet

but we are learning

in our particularly ignorant modern way


awareness is not a product of thought


awareness is only found in being

which is a state of stillness and peace

which is not so common in our time

envy

another popular drug

the first step to jealousy

and all the passion that goes with that crap

hatred

the greatest curse we subject our selves to

and dislike is the first step in that direction

and disapproval


approval is the first step to disapproval

as like is the first step to dislike

we humans have really learned how to abuse our freedom

and the freedom of all


and then there is that revenge stuff

and all the glory of our punishments


i often wonder why life tolerates us

selfishness and greed

if we don't deal with that situation

within our selves

we and our little world

will probably not survive


that is what i see


we are so selfish

and want is our most popular god

and our own gratification

is our most popular goal

which i have learned about in my own way


if god is all that is

which is the only way that word works for me

we ain't treating all that is all that well


to send a man or woman to prison

is to send god to prison

and to abuse a child is to abuse god

and to seek only for our personal self

is to ignore god


and we are so lonely


love is an expression of sharing and respect of all that is


our prayers are so full of what we want

and so rarely what we offer freely

relief

am not sure what that word means

probably something we made up

expectation

potentially the cruelest word of all

or maybe just the most dangerous


life is not about winning and losing

those are just for the games we play

the games we made up in our little brains


 the brain is just another organ

no more important than the fingers and toes

but we modern humans sure like to believe stuff

mostly stuff we made up


and life goes on

mostly still unnoticed

love

love is the only valid word

and i have found no explanation for that word


that is not a real word

and words aren't real either


courage is often found far from home

respect

it is often difficult for us to respect

that which we do not like


like is just another word for approval

which is just another petty little way we like to play god


usually i consider this a virgo affliction

within my self and others


others is another clue

there ain't no other

all is one

and zero too

at the same time


time is someplace to get lost

and we have great clocks in our time


to be ruled by a clock

is just another form of slavery

which is just another idea

here in the land of thought


awareness is not a product of thought


your buy the ticket

you take the ride

that was on the front of a hat i found

in a recycle bin at the oklahoma gazette

i was the maintance guy there for a while

i still have the hat and wear it often in cold weather


once you accepted this life

or you would not be here

rejection is knot the way

and the ain't no not

life is an affirmation

whatever that word means or represents

nakedness

forbidden in our time

and against the law in most places


we were born naked

never to be seen again

in our time


most humans seem obsessed with avoiding who they are

not sure where that came from

although there are foot prints in the sand


such behavior seems pretty unnatural to me


life without experiencing our true essential nature

is not life to me

just a cruel joke

and a lot of other stuff i won't go into tonight


have often wondered if this is the natural next step in our evolution

perhaps an opportunity to see how dangerous it can be

to take our little human selves too seriously


we make wonderful little stuff

but we are still primates

and a part of the world we seem to want to conquer

which is our mother


we mostly don't treat mother and her children all that well

and this would be a barren rock without the mother and her children

and we humans have become a race of child molesters

with no respect for life


some of us try to act respectful

but true respect is never an act

true respect is a state of being

and we are so caught up in doing

which is like digging a hole to nowhere

life

life is not always what it looks like to us humans

we tend to look at life through our own little filters

and that makes us blind


it and that are the clues

leader

the true leader never gives orders


except maybe once in a while

am not sure about that

willingness

the only true gift

courage

courage is a false god

as are fear and shame

and pride

and personal power


god is a false word

which is used mostly by control freaks

those that would limit our freedom to be our self


sacred is a special word to me

and all life is sacred

and worthy of respect

failures

if i were to guess

there are more failures in heaven than successes


am refering to those ideas of heaven most humans have


we like to think of ourselves as the most advanced primates

but mostly we are still primates

and our greater potential yet to be fulfilled

secrecy

another word for privacy

privacy

perhaps our most arrogant act of all

and the most selfish

cold women

cold women are unhappy women

and very lonely


and man has lost his way


and women are by nature followers

and man has lost his way


the white man brought his ideas to this place

and our land we call our mother

is no longer kind to us

and that situation is not the fault of the mother


mans ideas have lead us to a stray

honor

some people honor people for what they do

there are those that honor people for who they are

and what they have do is of no concern

for better or for worse


who we are as life created  us all

and the creatures of the field

and the field

and we all got our draw


so many today seek to be some idea in their head

ideas are like an infection of the mind


a healthy mind has no concern for ideas

they are just meaningless trivia


life is far beyond our petty little ideas

which are just our little attempts to escape our reality

which is who and what we are


which that great mystery we call life and destiny and fate

and a lot of other weird stuff


life is pretty simple acturally

either deal with life or life will deal with you

and there ain't actually no you


all seems a difficult something to most of us in our time

and our ideas of all are limited to our personal little window


a few are not in that situation

if i still believed in praying i would probably pray for them

praying is just another petty little selfish voodoo game

and all we are and are not came from no where


zero is the source of one and two and all the other silliness we see around us

numbers just divide us

and do religions

and politics

and country clans

and private clubs and other stuff


if we can't face what we are doing

how will we ever face our self


and a cold wind was on the land

and the human race huddled for warmth

if any was to be found

december 4. 2013


december 7, 1941

my father considered that day his birthday

that's what he said to me

life changed that morning for him

and peace was a long way down the road


he was a kind man when i knew him

and didn't take any shit from anybody

except from a few he liked

and he liked me

when i got a little older i could tell

he wasn't much for words

but he was a human being

and acting just wasn't his thing

lory

in the old days that word meant a conveyor

am not sure what that word means in our time


we shall see

if we are willing to see


see is a sacred word to me

and so feared in our time

innocence

a sacred word


perhaps the most sacred word of all

and so little respected in our time


mostly innocence is taken advantage of

and that really pisses me off

failure

the gateway to winning

as long as we are not seeking failure

death

another false god

some idiot came up with that idea

probably some sort of attempted escape


we can only see when we are willing to see what actually is


our hopes and wishes are just delusions which we torment our self with

and the reason the capitalists and the sellers of religions prey on us so mercilessly


predators always prey on the most helpless they can find

all those people you see

that is you and me


all those people you don't see

that is you and me too


we are one

whether we like that situation or not


and the creatures of the field are are brothers and sisters

and the other growing stuff is our family

saviours

so many hope and wish for a saviour

it seems to me that we humans are responsible for this mess

the plants and animals have been no threat to the planet

but we humans and all our stuff has


perhaps all this gain has been a loss

which is how our time seems to me


am not sure what we should do

perhaps quit deceiving our self with our fancy ideas

perhaps deal with life as life is

instead of trying to make life into what we want life to be


anyone who considers their self that smart

probably ain't going to like me

cause i mostly feel like we are lost

and acting like we know what to do


and so it goes

and we sink a little lower


we a becoming so heavy

and our ideas a great burden for our little world

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dreamers

we humans have become dreamers

we have been taught to believe

and believing is not knowing


we have been taught to have faith in the words of others

faith is blind devotion to an idea

and words are often just noise people make

to sell us something or other


face life for your self

if you can as you can

is all i can say to me


would say something to you if i could see you

but am still learning to see me

courage is a false god

which so many believe in in our time

yet fear is what is see in so many peoples eyes

that courage thing ain't working


faith is another false god

but faith has its followers


i gave up believing in dreams a long time ago

once there was a time

once there was a time

the girls were taught to make the men happy


i was once or twice called a man

and found inside my self

that the girls happiness was more important than my own happiness

which was my particular misunderstanding


we are all one


my unhappiness becomes a part of you

and your unhappiness becomes a part of me


perhaps in time we will learn to share our happiness

when we learn to respect our self


those without respect for self

will experience life with out respect

and be unable to share respect with others

which a the rest of their self


if i hide from you

just means i am hiding from my self


privacy is a very lonely word

love

a willingness to share an experience

with those we are a part of

without prejudice or the desire for personal gain

which are just selfish greedy goals

which lead only to isolation and great anguish


we are a product of all that is

which is what we actually are

for better or for worse

as we choose

until we grow up and give up choosing

which always leads to limitation


exclusiveness is a lonely place to be

and most certainly not natural

i spoke to a girl this evening

she thought the outside forces were putting pressure on her

actually it was her response to the outside forces

that was putting the pressure on her


she was the source of her discomfort

and therefore the source of her peace


others actually have very little influence on us

unless we choose to blame them for our situation

and then we are really fucked



making love is something that appeals to me

fucking not so much anymore

when i was younger

when i was younger

i believed that those that were the most able

were probably the oldest and the wisest


but as this life unfolded

they turned out to be the most innocent

which made no sense to me for a while

and then became the greatist joke of all

that we have played on our self

and the innocents were once again sacred to me


those that acquire knowledge

have forgotten how to be

and no longer see the wonder of life

which is beyond all knowing


life is not something you get

life is all that we are

and we are complete within our self


we are all lifes gift to life

and there ain't no not


thinking is the dumbest idea we ever had

and awareness is not a product of thought

one thing i have learned

a prayer that does not include all of us

is not a real prayer at all

just a curse for a few


life is special to me

and life is all that is


being selective is the path to isolation

which is one reason i am no fan of religions

or politics

or big business

and a lot of other stuff we do


all is what we are

and i no longer seek a vote

am not qualified to choose what life should be

my only responsibility to my self is to be my self

as i can


peace and harmony to all beings

ideas

when i was younger

i had ideas of what i wanted to be

which was what i wished i was


it took a while for me to realize

that what i actually was

was the truest gift of all


that abstract stuff meant nothing to me in those times

but i no longer wish to be other that what life made me

is just gave up on what so many claim is important


so many claim we should make something of our self

for me our self is the truest gift of all

and all we will ever actually have

and all we can actually share


what we think we should be

is how we reject and abuse our self

pride

perhaps the cruelist affliction of all

zorba the greek

watched that movie today

most of it

have pretty much always liked anthony quinn


the movie was kind of hard to watch sometimes

but did not turn it off


maybe a clue for us ignorant humans

and there are so many of us


i feel lucky sometimes to still wonder

and i cry more than i did when is was younger

and still believed in being strong

and trying to change things

which is what got us here

as i see it

first

as long as there is a first

there will be a second

and then a third

and great division is now upon us

when once we were whole


zero seems to be the only real number to me

and most shy away from that situation in our time


no thing is what we are to me

yet this body of mine is still here

a form of isolation

sometimes not with a few girls

and a few others i call friend



to be my own friend took a little time

and all clocks are a lot slower than life

we would be better off without them

but the capitalist requires punctuality

or the machines will become confused and not work properly


we humans aren't machines

but mostly in our time we serve them

maintenance man was my title for a while

and a lot of other stuff for a while before then

some of them not so flattering

others

as soon as we came to believe in others

we were no longer whole


fractions and mathmatics are creations of the mouthy blind


science is the disease it claims to be the cure for

as is psychology

and religious beliefs

and capitalism

and consumerism (a creation of capitalism)

and logic


life sure as hell ain't logical

but at least it is orderly

and free to us all


and yet restricting life is so popular in our time

even required to get ahead

whatever that crap means

probably means get a head

and ignore the reality of all that actually is


if personal profit is the only goal

we are lost


personal may be the smallest word of all


and don't get personal is such a common requirement in our time


life is a pretty personal experience to me

and am so far a pretty small person

openness to all of my self has been not all that easy for me

but are willing as we can

on our better days

feet

our other hands

and not too respected in our time

mostly just abused and walked upon


shoes were probably one of our first mistakes

cold climates were our downfall

and our escape just led to no where to be


being is a real word to me

as is love


most other words are just crap we made up

and mostly just limit all in our now so small little minds


being is a very still word to me

and love a silent celebration

which is rarely made manifest in our time

and is also all that we really are


our great obsession with making life little

just makes no sense to me

even when i do such things myself


freedom is an interesting word

for those of us in our personal little prisons

and all th


i forgot what i was going to say

will maybe go to bed now

them

as soon as them becomes an accepted word

separation begins to be

and conflict and great suffering is upon the land

which is what i see today


all our fancy ideas are not making the world a better place


am not a fan of ideas

life can not be put in a bottle

life is all that is

and i can't imagine a bottle that great

and am not likely to seek one


one is an isolated place to be

and all must do it once


just used that it word again

we

a very small and ignorant word

unless speaking of all

sex

the greatest obsession of all for most people

including me

but no one ever talks about sex

except a few stand up comics


people rarely face their obsessions

if they did they wouldn't be obsessions anymore


to face your life is to lose it

and it is a pretty stupid word

and not much of a loss


them

the same as it

but a little more personal

just and abstraction in our brain thinkers

to keep us separate


perhaps a desire for some sort of purity

pasteurized and sterilize



religions claim to be big on that crap

but all that does is isolate us into little compartments

and then we argue

and often fight

over our stupid little ideas of what we should be

and how we should act


if that works

god must really be a dumb shit


and whoever came up with the idea of god

was even dumber


projecting our personal ideas of good and bad

what we like to call right and wrong

on all that is

seems pretty arrogant to me

and not very nice


life does not shackle its many selves

such situations have been created by misguided humans


life is sacred

and forever free of all restraint


love for all can know no restraint


love for only those that agree

can know nothing but restraint

and the great frustration that goes with that crap

and great violence and shame is upon the land

and we and our fellow creatures suffer greatly

just because we can't just be who we are

and let all others be who they are

and just deal with ourselves

and those we call them

my earth father lewis

the man who saved my life

by not telling me what to do

even when i wanted him to


i was named lewis jr.

but that's another story

hands

it sometimes appears to me that life is in the hands

and what we do with them


our ideas are mostly of little value

in spite of what the head people think

work

my father introduced me to work

more than once


i didn't take much to that stuff

and don't to this day


after a time i understood why he worked

it was to feed his family

of which i was a part


i still don't always much care for work

but mostly i do when its time to work

sleeping

some claimed to sleep like a baby

some claimed to sleep like a log

some found all this very confusing

those that had never slept at all

speaking of life

one cannot truthfully speak of life

without speaking from ones self

from ones individual and indivisible truth of our being

thanksgiving

thanks giving is only valid

if we also give thanks for our self

power

a very overestimated word

and the downfall of so many

both the strong and the weak


only life is qualified to sort that stuff out

comic books and lies

mostly what we have been raised on

so it seems

what is to become of us

remains to be seen


seems and seem are not the same

one is an idea

the other a wondering

rules and freedom

the rule of law

what so many seek to hide behind

and yet there is no freedom

behind the rule of law


most humans i have known

hide behind some rules they like

and break others they don't like so much


true freedom is without rules and laws

but out of control means danger to so many


without respect for life we are less than nothing

which is a pretty scary thought to me

here in this carnival i sometimes call my life

lost

lost is not an option

although so many try

often so very hard


and the trick question is

how can one find

what can never be lost

our tail

we all have a tale

the part of our past we drag around

probably for some sort of balance

but our tales are of little value

for life is forever now

getting to know me

there have been those that weren't so thrilled with that situation

i have been one of them from time to time

and i haven't forgotten those times

they are part of the balance for the rest of me

reports

perhaps my greatest affliction

but that remains to be seen


there are those that found them boring

at best


it didn't realizing i was just having fun

which means i wasn't really being

i was preforming for my self

which seems mostly pretty silly to me now

but not always


these are troubling times

and my job is to make fun of us

when i'm not being sullen and depressed

the beauty detox solution

a book a friend of mine showed me

he seemed to like the book

says on the front by kimberly snyder,c.n.

don't know what c.n. means

i liked the cover

awareness

awareness is not a product of thought

awareness is through a willingness to be

and letting all others be

life cannot be figured out

as so many claim to have done


life is without rules

we are forever free when we are willing to be

and allow all others the right to be

which often still seems kind of scary to me


security is a form of isolation

television

the greatest mind fuck of all

until video games and cell phones came along

and now we post and tweet


we have learned to mind fuck our selves


and life goes on as we sleep in our little shells

forever thinking and lost in our thoughts

which is kind of a dumb word


the scientists tells us the brain is the location of mind

but they are wrong

all ideas are figments of our imagination


life is far more than an idea some human had

and can certainly not be explained


some educated people and some religious people

and a few nondenominational people

which is what i call the freelance selfish people

tried to tell me how i should be

but that never really worked out for them


we all must find our own way

we cannot own life

life owns us is closer to the truth to me

and our attempts to escape life and our truth

would just be silliness if not so painful for us all

innocence

i have been in the presence of innocence

but not all that often in this life

those with goals and ambitions

have no concept of innocence

and such situations are so often cultivated by others in our time


the children are under assault from all sides

and almost never allowed to be their self

and discover the only true gift


for a time i thought some people we just mean to children

but in time came to realize they were just ignorant

and buried under a mountain of lies


we humans seem to like thinking we know

guess it makes some of us feel better

but it never worked for me

and i still often wonder

but mostly anymore i just be silly me

and be open to what ever is next

on my better days

losing

losing only exists for those concerned with winning

which is just an illusion

a figment of our imagination


no one wins a war

only those that didn't take part in a war think that crap


once i was of the warriors a long long time ago

all of this life has not been lived in this skin

which is just an experience for a while

forgiving

we have times for all kinds of stuff

have wondered why we don't have a time for forgiving

some religious people claim that they have

but mostly i just see grudges

and a desire for payback


grudges are kind of a carry over from the past

which just eats at us and causes us torment

usually until we cause the offender torment


not much peace in a world like that

being

a state of peace with our self

which so few experience in our time

but all ways here for us

if we are willing to be

who we are and where we are

and just be our self as we are

believing

something be decided to do

usually with encouragement from others

and just a form of self deception

to make us feel better and not so lost and confused


lost and confused is often where life begins

is we are willing to just be with our self


self is the quiet part of our being

and not part of all that stuff we see

and don't understand


knowing you don't know

can be the greatest gift of all

and the gateway to knowing

recognition

true recognition is a state of being

and not a product of conditioning and thought

which many consider recognition to be


true recognition is a state of being

as is seeing

anger

a poison we subject our self to

a form of self pity

respect

true respect is a state of being


for many modern people

respect has become a form of ass kissing

to get what they want


want is a slave state

and an affliction i am familiar with


wishful thinking is a form of torment

seeing

if we could truly see

we wouldn't be so unkind

or so self righteous

hate

perhaps the dumbest word of all

a state of full blown rejection

and the ultimate isolation

woman

perhaps the most sacred word of all

and also so often used and abused

sometimes by males and the children

but in our time so often by their own attitude toward their self

inspiration

another sacred word

and also so often used and abused

respect

to understand the word respect

one must be with what that word represents

respect

a sacred word

yet so often used and abused in our time


without respect for life

we are much less than nothing

what my father told me once

i was an early teenager and full of my self

(a phase that lasted decades}

one afternoon when he was home

which didn't happen very often

i popped off to my mother

no bad words but the tone was disrespectful

he said come here boy

and we went into the other room

where he said to me most respectfully

if you don't respect that woman because she is your mother

that's my wife and i don't want your talking to her that way

and i never used that tone again with my mother

this was not because i was afraid of my father

he just spoke to me man to man

and what he said was more than the words

winning and losing

my father told me once a long time ago

it's not whether you win or lose

it's how you play the game


one thing i learned from my father

never bullshit your self

feelings again

all those feelings we hold back

just go into a saving account


account is the clue


accounts become obligations has been my experience

which only limit freedom

the child

some people view a child as a blank piece of paper

and in some ways i agree


for me the child must be the first to write on this piece of paper


there are many in our time that would write on that piece of paper first

before the child can find it's own way


am not a big fan of most of what i see in our time


the human population is in constant conflict with its self

such is all around me


life does not have to be this way

we all still have to find our own way


a willingness to be what life actually made us to be could be a clue

perhaps not

we all have to find our own way

and no one can do that for us

we are apparently multiple in this world

and forever one

taking charge

a popular phrase in our time


most girls are looking for a guy to take charge of things

and then they want to take charge of him


the guys have their version of this crap


you can walk among the poor and the lost and weak

you can walk among the rich and famous and powerful

the game is the same on the smallest and grandest scale


freedom has no place to be in such a world


this scale has no balance

geronimo

don't know how to spell that

he was an apache indian guy

i don't think they really caught him

that was a white lie

which was acceptable in the family i grew up in

for a while a while back


am still growing up

and out and down

and all that other stuff


being is without change

and a source of great confusion in our time


that which is forever changing

can never change


guess that could be called sequential being

but i don't much care for technical stuff

i just like to play

courage

a fearful beings defense

and to defend is to isolate

feelings

sometimes we respond to our feelings

sometimes we don't

that's how we sort our self out of this mess

such is what we are to me

the source

so many seek the answer

whatever that means


many seek the cause

and life is just because life is


if there is an answer

the answer is the source

and the source is within us all


including that pit bull in my neighbors yard

The Journey to the East

one of my favorite books

and the girl said

i don't want you anymore

and now am free to love you

more about life

all that you see is your life

all that you don't see is your life

welcome to life

this is our life

was and were

both retrospective words

and of the past


by the time you think about what you are doing

you have already done it

and it is past


being is not a product of thought


and the thinker cries where do we go from here

and i say i don't know

i just think to entertain myself when there is nothing on television

false fronts

mostly what i have been confronted with in this life

accept for a few

modern people pretty much all project a false front


all the lies has taken a terrible toll on the human population


and the creatures of the field

which have no ability to lie

insecure

seems like i have always felt insecure

always wanting to go somewhere

but never sure where

so just go

and i did

all kind of places

all kinds of people

all kinds of stuff to do

and here i am

after all this what ever this is and what we are doing

am right here where i started

and don't mind so much anymore


mind meant obey when i was a kid

later mind came to mean consciousness


brain was an idea synthesizer

which was a curiosity to me for a while

but turned out to be a form of masterbation

drinking

i started drinking for the same reason

i wanted to fit in and be cool


drinking was a lot more fun than smoking


am still not sure was reason means

and am not sure i really want to know


understanding insanity can be a dangerous game

among all these people who like games better than real life

the cigarette

just went out into a cold north wind

to smoke a little of a cigarette

haven't looked into the relationship for a while


started smoking when i was pretty young

almost all the grownups did

which is what we called the big people in charge


the next step was when i wanted to look cool

like those i seems to admire in some way

which at this point in time i see as some sort of envy

something they had that i wanted too

and i still don't know what that was


probably some sort of acceptance

just trying to fit in and seem normal

which was back when i thought normal was a real word


seems i was seeking something i lacked

there was something i wanted


i have no idea what that was


maybe i just felt alone

willing

some associate willing with personal power


for some willing is the surrender of personal power

true

there are those that seek what is true

all is true

blind people are often picky


one must cease looking

and give seeing a chance

which is a passive state


as is being

lies

the lies that others tell us are not what matters

what matters are the lies we tell our self

and our willingness to tell them

respect for innocence

have seen very little respect for innocence in this life

and have very often come up short myself

but respect for innocence has showed up in this life

and it saw me

i could see respect for me


am not so young anymore

and seem to have some small sense of what was

mostly i have wondered

anticipation

a nervous disorder

love

life without expectation

the gift of innocence

why do we drink

because this is such a lonely place

and so crowded

and so little peace


and the reigning social order

has its roots in child abuse


the modern rulers indoctronate the children very young

before they have time to know their self


going to school is not a freedom of choice

going to school is the law

as is going to church in some families


law is such an ugly word


rule is such a stupid word


life doesn't come with an instruction manual

or a rule book

humans came up with that crap


did you ever wonder what love really means

everyone

everyone we have ever known

is a part of us forever

as is everyone we have never known

thinking

thinking can only be about yesterday and what was

now is far beyond thought

as is am

which is being

boys and girls

in our time a lot of boys like to fuck boys

or be fucked by boys


a lot of girls like to fuck girls

or be fucked by girls


fucking is not the point of the game

and life is not a game

knowing

not even an option

being is the only valid option


knowing is retrospective

and of that which is past


life is forever now

science

science claims to be the answer to our problems

when actually it is the source of most of our major problems

super bombs

new diseases

world wide pollution

we communicate electronically

and have lost the ability to communicate personally

and on and on

am sure i will have more to say about this topic


science makes life complicated

truth makes life simple

war

war is not the path to peace

as so many seem to think


thinking is an affliction

right up there with polio and malaria

only a lot worse

beliefs

the shackles we place on our self

to make us feel more secure

security

security is a false god

with many followers

and many takers

ideas

the great curse of our time

and for such a long time

new ideas

old ideas

crazy ideas


we are constantly subjecting our self

to all these conflicting ideas

right and wrong

good and bad

profitable or not profitable


we are just a bunch of crazy people

fascinated by all the endless ideas

which make us blind to what actually is


we have learned how to think

and forgotten how to be

love

true love is neither personal or exclusive

true love is a state of being

which words do not describe


most of what we modern people consider love

is a form of gratification

we really like getting what we want


such goals make love almost impossible

yet love all ways exists


we have become very narrow and competitive

these tendencies have the potential to destroy us

at the very least to become selfish  isolated  and miserable

and lots of other nasty stuff


life does not have to be this way

but we must change our ways


we are taking selfishness to new heights


this is not rocket science

our world is a mess

most individuals that i see are a mess

just trying to act ok and in charge


only life can save us now

and i sometimes have wondered why life has saved us so long


the constitution of this country says something about equality as i recall

equality is in very short supply in this country

i have been here almost 69 years and have experienced equality with another being

but not all that much

and it appears to me that thought is the source of all this insanity i see

all these ideas in constant conflict which all those other ideas

and every one wanting desperately to be right

we humans are in almost constant conflict with in and with out

awareness is not a product of thought


punishing fucked up people for being fucked up people

does not make the world a better place

it is just another attempt to manage people

which is what got us in this mess we call civilization today

what your doing

how does one do

when one doesn't know

what one is doing


this is obviously a pisces quest ye one

what just happened

have mostly not been sure what just happened

but this seems to be my life

and am still here


we shall see

if we are willing


truth can be pretty scary

for the careful ones

as i have so often been

when i was sober


have wondered if sober was short for somber

which ain't much of a word

surrender

not a popular word with me when i was young

not so much any more


win at all cost just pushed me away

to be a man

my father showed me

and i still wonder


not much telling what will become of me

help

my mistake was wanting to help

those are the ones that get taken advantage of


advantage is the clue


when another is vulnerable

to attack and/or exploit

rules

there is only one rule

never chase girls

my face

my face was on the front page of the oklahoma gazette once

and the front of my head a few times

persuasion

a lot can be said about that tricky little word

asking

i don't even know what to ask for

and am a little fearful of such things

one of my favorite jokes

and the lone arranger said

tonto  -  we are surrounded by wild indians

and tonto said

what do you mean we  -  white man


those that pause in the speech

are usually going for effect

and have little interest in our essence

which is to our advantage


which obviously must not be taken advantage of

courage

a blind mans fancy


i have always feared being brave

from a very young age

step

there is a time to step for ward

and a time to step for back

and a time to stand still

and be


as long as we choose

we loose


such behavior just knots the way

and we get to experience what behind is

which is a great lack

when life is for ever now of all that is

and fortunately for us

all that is not

wanting

the greatest curse of all

for us all


what is wanted must be released

or for ever be the prisoner


and the wanter a prison guard

if you want to face your self

if you want to face your self

face me

and all the rest of us

bea

bea was my first love

i did not know that at the time


she was the first to love me

that i was not related to


i did not notice much in those days


noticing began a few decades later

after a few decades of wondering


i still wonder some times

the end of war and violence

the end of war and violence will come

when humans quit taking part in war and violence


deer fight every year

but the creatures of the field

never started a war

or sold drugs to children

or all the other little nasties humans have come to be known for


we humans are the problem

and the only solution


the creatures of the field have not learned to hate

but some of their domesticated brethren

are learning about anger and insecurity

which it seems to me how we humans got there

retarded

my retarded friends

are the only friends i have

and i do not have them

but i fit right in


we are all retarded in some way

such is what it is to be human

less than the whole

yet still a part of the whole

choosing

some choose to be what they think is the best they can be

some choose to be what they think is the worst they can be

some choose other silly ideas

which is so popular in our time


we were not born to decide who we are

we were born to be who we are

as life made us


if you cannot accept your self as you are

how will you ever accept the rest of us as who we are


and our lies in time will bury us


everything is the clue

life is everything

all that we see

and all we don't see


the more we choose

the smaller we get

and the less we get


all i can say to me is deal with this life boy

this is your draw

competition

our desire to compete

is creating deep divisions in our population


we obviously have a lot to learn about life


cooperation with all is also an option

but selfishness and greed are the greatest god in our time

the desire to win

to be top dog

has become an obsession


the most money

the most power

the most control

apparently we just want to play god



how does one consider the well being of all

instead of just our favorite team


favorite is a prejudice


life is both zero and one


to have favorites creates an imbalance


i watched the oklahoma football team loose by a lot tonight

it wasn't as hard as it was last time


in life as i see it here in our situation

it is important to win with what i call heart

or loose with what i call heart


no one always wins

no one always loses

and some of us get to be here for a while


this stuff seems worth looking into to me


sometimes what we think we are doing

is not what we are actually doing

letting go

first i had to let go of being mad


then i had to let go of disapproving

and then approving


am still working on that stuff

girls

the hardest part about dealing with girls

is dealing with their cover story


males generally ain't all that good at that stuff

they are mostly too busy cultivating their own cover story


dealing has been our downfall

and cover stories

paradise lost

what i would call a book about this world

and the beings i share this world with

taking a house apart

those that are the most qualified

are those that built the house

in a real world

not so much any more

the body

the body is to be embraced

and cared for

and used as is our nature

love

love is an openness

a sharing of an experience


so many of us fear the truth of our existence

and cannot be who they are


trying is of no use at all

one must we willing


awareness is not a product of thought

truth is not an idea

which are mostly figments of our imagination

and a product of thought


beliefs just clutter the way

as do our hopes and wishes and dreams and ambitions

and on and on we go

to no where to be


our beliefs a based on our ideas

the religions all have their own ideas

the capitalist and the socialist and the communist have their ideas

most every one has their own ideas

and the conflict of ideas is destroying us

and our little world


we do not have to take part in all that crap

please

never much cared for that word

was told it was just being polite

but actually is a form of begging to get what is wanted


polite is a kind of weird word too

is usually a form of ass kissing


true respect is never an act

or ever based on fear

we have a problem

we have a serious problem in the world today

we are a serious problem in the world today


as children we are taught to perform

how to act

now  -  instead of living  -  we are acting

playing roles


in order to sustain the role

we must repress our true nature

which means we are repressing life

and living a lie

experiencing our self as a lie

lying both to our self and others


now we are several generations deep in untrue existence


the parents are playing roles

the teachers are playing roles

the preachers are playing roles

we play roles with each other

with our friends

with our partners

with the children

with our selves


this role we are playing

this lie we are perpetuating on our self is stifling

the truth of our existence


we are creating distance between our truth

we are creating barriers between the role we are playing

(who we believe our selves to be)

and who we actually are


this leads to great conflict and pressure inside our selves

this pressure is making us sick and mean


this separation from the truth of our self

(what life created us to be)

makes us afraid


the sickness and fear and violence in our world
  is a product of our unnatural existence

and will continue to grow until we give up
  our unnatural existence


we are emotionally constipated

constantly frustrated

the conflict between our true nature and
  the role we are playing  (the lie we are living)
  leaves us no peace

the thought processes we involve our selves
  in are constantly seeking escape from the
  pain and fear and conflict and frustration

this leads to confusion


we create an endless stream of ideas of what
  we think will make us happy

we live in almost constant torment and need

all the time trying to act like we're not

we are taught to act confident

when we are not

we are taught to take control

when it was control that got us this way


life is not to be controlled

life is to be lived

to be lived and experienced openly and fully

we repress life and expect to be happy

that is insane thinking

the creatures in zoos are not happy

they were ment to be free

living their lives and taking their chances

in a free environment


thinking that we are ok when we're not

  (so called positive thinking) will only make

  our situation worse

more lies won't help

it will only lead to more disappointment and frustration

the truth of our existence is the only hope we have


awareness is not a product of thought

life is beyond what we think

and what we seem to think we feel

   

wanting

probably the most dangerous game we play


the situation is to recognize a natural attraction

as opposed to an imaginary want

which we want another life form to be

with no consideration for who and what they actually are


our selfishness becomes a curse for an other

if willing to be other than its nature to please someone

and our self for seeking that which is not actually a natural attraction


we so often abuse our self and other selves with our silly games

and our truth is no longer what we experience and share

and the sacred trust no longer respected


time for bed now

i'm tired

every day

every day is what ever life allows

and what ever we are willing to accept

and deal with as is our nature


perhaps without letting our habits and conditioning rule us

the legend of lewis and terri

not many today would believe that story

and the story is still being told

water

i knew a girl once i called clear water

she called me muddy water

want

the most terrible of all words

and a curse that does not actually exist

except in the minds of the lost

stars

perhaps the wholes in the darkness

that let the light in

watchers and doers

some of us are watchers

some of us are doers

and it is important not to get that part mixed up


some of us wonder

sometimes about what could have been

sometimes about what was

and sometimes who we are

or who you are


those that wonder


am still not sure what to say about wonder


wonder still seems a valid response to me


i still wonder sometimes why that is

courage

courage is a small part of what we are


a willingness to face the day

is what is required of us here

pride

a very scary word

which represents the source of all shame

and a false god

where i come from

eternity

eternity ain't all that long

unless your counting the minutes

lying

lie to the children very long

and that will make them weird and crazy


because then they lie to their self

mostly i guess to please the liar

which is now how they please their self

and the great disharmony that comes into being

is not very nice or pleasant

which is now all around us

for all to see


all our beliefs and hopes and wishes and guesses

are nothing but lies

our feeble attempts to escape our lives


our essential truth is all we are

and mostly all we have learned is to be a lie


life does not have to be that way



how we feel and what we think

is not what we are


truth is a harsh mistress

yet all ways an option for us choosers


if we just give up choosing and deciding

and embrace being

stop

if i was a doctor

that is probably the prescription i would write


stop

and be with you self

because until you do

you will never be with me

or any one else


we is all

and me is a very lonely word

and leads to a very lonely world

and great chaos will dominate the land


we are one

and never is not a real word

our common ground

we are standing on our common ground


many of us call our common ground

the planet earth


our selfishness and greed

is the greatest threat to our little planet

and ourselves

The March of Folly

a book by Barbara W. Tuchman


was left in a house we recently bought


just read the introduction on the paper cover

sounded like it might be worth reading

but i have been fooled before


but the topic she brings up seems worth examining to me

control

so many in our time

think that life should be controlled


i don't agree

and consider that a very dangerous game to play


life is not just a game for our entertainment and personal pleasure

as so many seem to have been led to believe

humanity

what we call the best of humanity

and what we call the worst of humanity

is a part of us all


as is all that other stuff out there

what we like to call out there

words

if we just listen to the words

we lose the ability to hear


if we only look at the forms

we lose the ability to see

want

the ultimate curse word

humanity

there are so many of us here

in our time


sometimes i wonder why

so much is gone


yet so many are here

the population has exploded in my life time


sometime i wonder why so many accept this place to be

so much is artificial

the girls don't know how to be girls

and the males don't show up at all


mostly i wonder

sometimes i cry

one

a very lonely number


i almost said

a very lonely number to be


zero is the only real number

to me


all combinations of one

are always one

divided by some thing

noises

what most people don't seem to know

is that most of the noises they make

are hurtful to some one

knowing

knowing is a fleeting experience

to be experienced each moment

and never grasped or grabbed


knowing is gone as soon as we think about it

and we get farther from the truth of our experience


it is not a real word

hopes and wishes

hopes and wishes and beliefs

little fantasies we torment our self and others with

ideas

ideas only pollute the mind

with all those hopes and wishes

and all our other little fantasies


the blind man that convinces himself that he can see

is still blind

what we want to be

what we want to be

or what we think we should be

is just an attempt to escape what we are

which is our truth

and our only validity

forward

there ain't no backword

and i didn't misspell that

life is forever forward

the past was another moment

now is for a moment


life is never still

and forever still

magic

life is magic

the basic essence of all

never to be defined

only the lonely

perhaps only the lonely can see

which is what we seem to fear so much

and we already are

follow

all we do is follow

we follow the rules

we fit in

we obey the laws

we follow the traditions

we go to church

we pray

and sometimes we curse


following is getting us no where



all we have is our self

perhaps the scariest option of all


that frightened little person we think we are


we are alone

and yet a small part of all that is

careful

perhaps the greatest curse we have made up so far


can avoiding reality be the gateway to heaven


we shall see

perhaps

perhaps it is time to look a what we have done

and we are doing

if we can


am can be a harsh word

and the greatest kindness


perhaps

imagine

can you imagine

being the only free being on the planet

and your life is a prison

hoping and wishing

still forget sometimes

that stuff is pretty silly

as is faith


religion caught my attention for a while

but only for a while


am a natural born heathen

and don't mind so much anymore


having to mind made leaving home so much easier

winning and loosing

winning is a happy way of loosing

loosing is a sad way of winning

and confusion reigns amoung the thinkers

who rule for a while in our time


the thinkers aren't much interested in awareness

what i like to call preception of what is


is is also a clue


who knows what is means


is means actually to me

which seems to be the best in can do in words tonight

liberals and conservatives

the two most ignorant segments of society

in our time

both have a belief goal

neither see today

as today actually is

and is for us all


seeing can be challenging

when one has been looking for so long

fight

to win a fight

is just another way to lose a fight


fight is the clue

only the very insecure fight

private and privacy

a form of self imposed isolation

free

a creature born and raised in a zoo

has no experience of its self

living free in its natural environment

and neither do modern humans

all life

all life must be respected

all life is one life

these little separations we make

to make our little self feel better

are just an illusion


we are all brothers and sisters

and the creatures of the field our little brothers

and the earth our mother

and all that is our father

no matter what word one uses for god


all that devil stuff is just a misunderstanding

by those idiots that want control for their little self

all life is sacred


peace and harmony to all beings

even when i have to say no

the dogs

the dogs just want dinner

and a place to nap

and a place to crap


as do the cats


predators are all the same

trying

trying is a fools effort

to avoid a current situation


life is a process of being becoming and begoing


all at once

all the time

awareness

a state of being

ideas

ideas are figments of our imagination

always products of what is past

life is forever now

without past or future


awareness is not a product of thought

free life

free life is an expression of insanity

to those that consider their self sane

the rational thinkers of our time

those that claim that control is the answer

but control just leads to out of control

and round and round we go

on this mad carrousel we call our life


and life is forever free

a gift to all


control is a form of rejection


to tell a child to control self

and do what the child is being told to do

is telling the child not to be self

which is the gift of life to the new being


freedom is more than a word


life is a sacred trust

the cold

the cold out there

was a little hard to embrace for a while

once i hugged an iceberg


she liked me

and still does

as i do her

deficets

deficets

what we call loosing

only matter

if you are keeping score

which only a hungry greedy being would do


and so often we seek to score

and so often we do not see what we are doing


seems like i heard a blind man say that once

some where i once was

the man was asked

and the man was asked

what is your greatest fear

and the man replied

i have no greatest fear

all fear is about the same to me

our limitations

our limitations

are the beginning

of what we are


manifest life always has definition


most of life is beyond definition

and there for free

and unused able for profit

food

in our time in this particular place

often the desire for food is far greater than

the need for food

and wide spread obesity is up on the land

and a lot of other unhealthy stuff


when food consumption becomes

an emotional disorder

we have become addicted to harms way

and others use us for profit

just like the sheep and the cows and the pigs

and the dogs and the horses

and the chickens

and the plant it earth

which is our mother


all life is sacred

in its own way

winning and losing

life ain't about winning or losing

life is about how you respond to the game

and how you honor life

the one question every man must ask

has a woman ever loved me


woman has to decide for her self

companions along the way

much could be said about that topic

about how we treat our fellow creatures


so many of us in our time

have such little respect for life


business and politics are about profit and gain

religions are about gaining followers


even family is mostly about me and mine

my son

my daughter

my husband

my wife


my is a possessive word

as is mine

openness

openness is the only true experience


so many women and children

are cloaked and drawn in our time

and a great sadness is upon the land


and the males

mostly they hide behind their money and personalities

if they can

the rest just suffer quietly

and some go crazy

and do crazy things


we are still just children in the garden

and we are also the garden

mankind

and mankind took to the sky

and the open road

and the depths of the sea

and the near reaches of space

and never found his self

which was all ways with him


and here we are

still children on the play ground


the play ground can not be understood

by cataloging all the stuff

although many have tried

and many still do


openness is the only true experience

knowing

some life is found in knowing

all life is found in being

the land of the free

the hypocrisy of that statement is very offensive to me

politicians

two dogs fighting over a bone

and we the people are now the bone

seeing

seeing is not achieved by looking

looking is a blind mans stare

what you are

what you are

is always far greater

than what you need

now matter what you are

or who you are

or what you think you are

or who you think you are


awareness is not a product of thought

delusion and confusion are products of thought

which lead to arrogance and ambition

and great conflict is upon the land

and the creatures of the field suffer greatly


we were perhaps born to be the guardians

now we are the guards

and the guarded


none of this seems quite right to me

and am not sure what right means


left means to turn

right means straight ahead

perhaps up is the answer

what ever that means


expect nothing

and you will never be disappointed

expectations are the source of all disappointment


to cultivate expecations in a child

is a great crime against us all

what they become

is what we must over come

with out harm to any one

hope

not much of a word

when i was younger

was mostly a game for unhappy children to play

and not really much fun

what does a dragon do

when confronted by a man of fire

lonely puppies

tonight i heard another one

crying into the night


good night my friend

who ever you might  be

pipeliners

those keystone guys

and some others

want to put you guys to work


my father was a pipeliner

i mostly liked him

except for a few years when my opionion was important to me

and what i wanted

which he did not consider his concern

he didn't want anything from me

or need anything from me

art

art is what it is

if one can see without prejudice

which can be difficult

for the educated and trained

who usually become believers

and then hopers


and art goes on being what it is

cause it ain't got no place to go worth going

it's friday night

the kids are home from the ball game

rain and maybe storms are coming

ou and notre dame play football on tv tomarrow afternoon

it's a pipeliners holiday

leaders

as long as people want leaders

there will be leaders


as long as people want followers

or to follow

there will be leaders

of followers


as long as people want

they will be slaves


need can be a clue

but we mostly cheat

in our time

our shell

we could live more freely

without the shelter of our shell


perhaps this is the next or last egg


self imposed shells are the hardest to break

has been my experience

we can be so proud of ourselves

hateful women

one can give them what they want

and be with that


or be what they want

and be with that


or pass on this situations

as quietly as possible if possible


or you could just face her

and see where that gets you

words

mostly pebbles dribbling from our mouths

falling harmlessly to the ground


sometimes little puff balls

designed to influence others


sometimes hurtful things

designed to influence others


and we all must find our way

together

the people in charge

the people in charge are usually dick heads

which is what they have been trained to be


am not a big fan of training

am mostly consider such things an abomination

the window we are looking through

most of us get to look at life through a very small window

how small the window gets

is determined by the choices we make

for as long as we decided to make choices

comfortable to ones self

if one cannot be comfortable with ones self

one will never be comfortable with an other

life is sharing

and we become what we share

even if only with our self

here

here is whever i am

as is hear

but that stuff is usually more of the same in our time

evaluating others by our own standards

this is how we make life small

and our self even smaller

sleep

sleep can be wonderfull

unless we use sleep for a hiding place or escape


that stuff just gets us lost


life is a yes word


no just a word meaning to get lost now

often pretty demanding

what i saw tonight

i saw a young girl

walking down a dark street

pushing a bady carrage

she was tired


i also saw a young guy

walking down a dark street

playing with a video game

he was nervious


that passed down the street this evening

right there in front of me

noise

there is a lot of noise in our world today

i find noise mostly to be meaningless sound


and perhaps we have lost something special

like the presence of our self


so many are not comfortable with their self in our time

and great chaos is upon the land


mostly we have been told what to do

and forgot how to find our own way


finding our own way was not permitted

and our own way became a stranger to us


that path can be harsh

but our self is all we can ever experience here

and all those other selfs


truth is pretty much unexplored in our time

and usually feared greatly


when one has addapted to the land of the lie

truth contact usually is at first painful

depending on how many lies we have swallowed

and made up to make us feel more comfortable

what a place to be born

no one will tell me anything

and those that will are lying

security

there is no security here

dream at your own risk

the pile

we are just another twig on the pile

it seems to me

each in our own time

in our own way

if we accept our way


no one knows where we come from

or where we go


one is the clue


once i was of the warriors

not so much any more

fighting didn't help the native population

an old proverb i just made up

first there was the irresistible force

and the immoveable object


then there was the irresistible object

and the irresistible touch


and great chaos was upon the land

found

a strange word to me

sort of


i found a lot along the way

am not sure what that means


perhaps life is beyond meaning

and mean

self

understanding our self

is the only way to understanding an others self


trying to make our self into something

is a form of self rejection

liberty

most in our time aren't too concerned about liberty

they just want a job


the creation of money was the end of all that liberty stuff

and business took over the world

the part and the whole

the part and the whole have an intimate relationship

in the best of times


not so much in our time


so much conflict

so little peace

and we humans are responsible for that situation


greed and the desire for power is the greatest curse of all

as far as i can see


this situation is a product of insecurity

and such a response leads to more widespread insecurity

as the children turn on their selves

and great suffering and sadness is upon the land


we humans are the only problem this planet has

and it doesn't have to be that way

but we have a lot of growing up to do


feeling sorry for our self will make our situation worse

the book of life

the book of life cannot be written

and therefore never read


life is an experience

and resistance is knot the way

as is knowledge

and belief

and all that other mental stuff

which just makes us isolated and alone

with all the frustration that goes with that crap


life is to be lived

a truthful heart can lead the way

whatever that means


honesty is far short of truth

mental

the more mental we become

the less human we become

and life becomes harder to see


mental is just part of what we are

now

most today exist in yesterday

and the dread of tomorrow

with hope or some other silly emotion in between

some of that stuff is really dangerous

if you don't care much for pain


now is all there is

all there ever is is now

which can be a challenge here in the land of great escape

so much stuff to escape into


i realize just being don't sound all that interesting


interesting is usually just a form of curiosity

generated by an idea

which are figments of our imagination

and on we go down the rabbit hole

guidance

guidance ls from within


the chatter in our brains

and the frustrations in our belly

make us deaf and blind

and make us a threat to our self

and those we call others


the rest of the story is yet to be experienced


we humans carry a unique potential


our traditions are not what we are

they are only what we have been

and less than all we can be

for better or for worse

or for no gain or loss

stand up

stand up and be

stand up and be who you are

and respond to life as is your nature


stuff like that is all i know

the rest is up to life

and not my business

brain washing

we have been brain washed almost from birth

by our parents

in our schools

by big busniss

television

religious dogma

patriotic indocrination

friends

classmates

and on and on and on

truth is rarely seen

now we just believe and hope for the best

mostly because we are afraid not to

and sadly most of us just try to act like everything is ok


living and being our truth without interference has not been permitted


our future has yet to be determined

the rest of our life has yet to be lived

our truth exists within our being

yet mostly restrained by our training and programing and beliefs


awareness is not a product of thought


we each must find our own way

self is the clue

being is the gift


we are often called human beings

yet a human being is pretty rare in our time


i see a lot of humans acting and preforming their little games

i see humans hoping and wanting and praying

i see humans lying to others and their self

i see humans doing terrible things to each other

and sometimes what could be called nice things by some


i rarely see a human just being anymore


we have been taught to think and remember the rules

and to deny the children the right to be who they are


our essence is our way

our truth exists in the silence within


probably ought to deleat all this

guess not right now


being is not achieved by trying or any great effort or sacrifice

life is a gift


but talk is cheap

and this mess looks too big to  clean up to me

but where we go remains to be seen