complaining

complaining is a sign (affermation) of weakness

and whinning makes it worse

some think whinning louder is the answer


some think being brave is the answer

i don't agree


there are no real answers

which is why questioning is such a waste of time


that which is sought

is forever lost

which sounds like something i may have read somewhere

but i agree

business

the merchant class has taken over most of the world

and will have no idea of what to do with it

anymore than all those religions did

but they still try

and we let them use us


and here we are


most today have a psychological program in their brain

which is conditioning the nervious system

and then the emotions


most or the early programing came from the family

usually from one of the parents


then there is sunday school

and public school

and all those commercials


often then our personal opinions come into play

and then we are really in trouble


and here we are

thought

mind can only function wholly

when we cease thinking


too much thinking leads to emotional disturbances

and can make us quite crazy

with all our prejudices and speculations


awareness is not a product of thought

confusion and conflict are products of thought

as is so obvious in our time

madness

madness comes from being mad to long


and being mad and angry

is just a form of self pity

which may be the greatest of all curses


there are so many available to the thinkers

want

a symptom of insanity

a really stupid word


probably the greatest curse of our time


religions started milking the cow that way

and capitalism took it to an art form for ugly

and the advertisers

they market the carcass

mind

a wonderful word

as long as not used as "mind me"

which is just intimidation


mind is perhaps the greatest gift of all

and not a mere product of the brain

as science seems to believe


mind is a whole experience

true mind is all


picking and choosing is an idiots game

mister and miss

two pretty silly words to me

and then came mizz or mize or whatever


titles are almost never a good idea

and ideas are just our imagination at work


ideas are how we deceive our self

one of ways we do that

lazy

am a natural born lazy type

recognized that early on


but life seemed to require my presence sometimes

and sometimes it was fun

sometimes not so much


and here we are

black and white skin

skin color

am really fed up with all this crap

we are all in the fragile little life boat together


and our performance so far ain't all that harmonious

our symphony is just a lot of obscene noise

and there ain't much peace in the valley these days

truthfulness and honesty

honesty means to believe what you say

beliefs can be very misleading

as can opinions

they are mind distorters

and truth still undiscovered


mostly opinions bore me

although some i have found offensive

and beliefs mostly the same


being is not the same as believing

which appears to be just an attempt to survive mostly

and to hide from whatever truth we are afraid of


hopes

kind of like wishful believing

which just contributes to the insanity


wishes

mostly just silliness

hopes without much hope


saw an opossum tonight

ran through the back yard right there in front of me

saw him a while later

was headed north on the far side of the street

numbers

nine is a zero with a tail/tale

one is the tail/tale


one and zero are ten

which is zero plus nothing

which is nothing


0 is the only real number

all other numbers are divisions of no thing

and not really real


dealing with parts is kind of complicated


and this life had no instruction manuel i could find


it and all its are just more illusions


life actually exists

if what we call me and we are still willing to accept truth


truth has the potential to be a real word

corners

corners are usually stronger than sides

but not all ways

strength is just an illusion

a product of our miss spent youth


we can never be stronger than life

no matter how hard we try


and so much of what we do and are about to do

sometimes makes me angry

and sometimes makes me cry

and then i usually wonder for a while


then i get up again and face the day as i can

perhaps free of hope

friend

friend is a sacred word

which has mostly lost its meaning in our time


being a friend is a status symbol in some circles

being an enemy a status symbol in other circles

and the game becomes pointless for so many

as the game always is


life is far more than a game

and still sacred to some

ahead

a head

to get ahead in this world

is to get behind in life


with the living

life is all ways in front


the past will keep up as it is

but only for a time


humans are in our time

are mostly born with out a tail/tale

at least one they will admit to

so most just make one up


and the crap just keeps piling up

and the words more confusing

and the images more disturbing


and the only place to be is no where


where is just another silly word

that represents nothing

and means no thing

it is just a tease

it is a lie

a deception


there ain't no it


all is me

as is what i sometimes call you

cause sometimes is still forget

what i just said


memory is only worth while

when short term


learn and let go is


true learning requires more than being smart

which was aquired with the desire for profit

which is a lonely way to lose


greed and ambition are major problems in our time

as so often before


when we face the truth of our ambitions

and recognize their source

they are often not so hard to let go of


and we have to let go of them

they cannot let go of us

as some hope and pray

we are their source and survival

as long as we promote such situations within our self

as we have learned

such behaviour is not natural

image

most girls are more concerned

about their image

instead of their truthful actuallity


and in modern times

more guys than there once was


the girls are winning

the gay boys have already sold out


winning is not the point of the game we play


all of what we see and don't see

is ultimately more than a game

although science orientated people mostly don't agree

or religiously orientated people

or politically orientated people

or racially orientated people

or success orientated people

and anyone else addicted to thought and thinking

which is a disease of the mind


awareness is not a product of thought

courage is a false god

i really like saying that

here in the land of those

that promote courage as a virtue


awareness of our situation

without prejudice

is a far greater virtue


i am not a big fan of virtues

caring

mostly a personal prejudice

based on my experience

usually a product of our training and personal experience


an open minded being would examine them very


i almost said carefully

knowing where we are going

most people i have known

will not go anywhere

if they do not know

where they are going


welcome to life


there are those that convince their self

that they know where they are going

it seems to make them feel better

until the shock of where they wind up comes upon them


conviction is a nastly little word

ungent words

urgent words and stressful faces
this is seen now in most places
humans seem to worry more
most don't seem to know the score

ideas are the chosen goal
endless dreams torment the soul
it's fantasy my heart does say
no truth in all the games we play

life does have its own true course
which all must live or see remorse
and truth will in the heart be found
thru love we'll see the world rebound

ideas only block the view
the mind must open to be new
we must release all old belief
which is the source of all our grief

the plans of man have surely failed
upon the rocks we now have sailed
to truth of life we must return
the sacred trust we must relearn

the spirit lives  -  it's what we are
all ways with us  -  never far
but all must listen for its voice
and with the heart make love the choice


love is not a form of emotional gratification

as so many seem to think

cats

this new neighborhood has lots of cats

my wife likes to tend the flower beds

the cats like to crap in her flower beds

part of my job is to discourage that behavior

without harming the cats

i realize they are just trying to do their job

and on the story goes

the agony and the ecstacy

there is an old book by that title

maybe a movie


sounds like a scorpio situation to me

a sexual situation


pleasure is a fine line to walk

and pleasure and pain are the same


for some it becomes an art

for some a curse

life is somewhere in between

emotions

when humans are taught to control their emotions

they become pressure cookers

and sometimes explode

and sometimes control freaks

seeking control or to be controlled


that hole situation is a dead end street from the start

and starting is usually much easier than stopping

the addiction to cruelty can become very powerful

to those who have been treated so cruelly


if we can't find another way to be

the path ahead ain't going to be pretty

and i am a big fan of pretty

abuse

to abuse an other

is just another form of self abuse

that's the truth as i see it


kindness is often not possible in our time

but we don't have to be unkind


the desire to hurt others is a sickness

and pain is a symptom

inflicting pain a response


there is a cure for what ails us

but our brain thinking makes us blind

and dumb and ignorant and cruel


awareness is not a product of thought

and only idiots pursue ideas


the persuit of ideas is what got us here

some of them seemed so glorious

some not so much

questioning life

questioning life is to ignore life

those that are open to life have no quest ye ons


life is it's own affermation

the only way to know life

is to take part in the whole

and never the hole


for most of us that would mean never again

it's sad to me

its sad to me how we treat each other

and our fellow creatures

and the gifts of the land and sea


my greatest sadness may be how we treat our self


we seem to have little respect for the right to be

even for our self

Old Fashioned Houses

Old fashioned houses
And trees all around
No rumble of engines
A beautiful sound

I stand here in silence
My heart filled with joy
For I had not seen it
Since I was a boy

Most don't remember
It just slips away
But I can't forget where
I learned how to play

The summers in clover
That filled me with glee
The house that we build
In that old maple tree

The girls of my youth
They were gentle and kind
The peace of those days
Is now so hard to find

It don't seem to me
That we've made the world better
All mapped out
And planned to the letter

Perhaps we'll remember
In time what we lost
What we tore down and changed
At a terrible cost

Once life was free and
We all breathed clean air
Nature was loved and
We knew how to pair

But that was another time

money

money is a figment of some ones imagination

and we are all pretty much infected


and so few are interested in a cure

since profit is so profitable


what has been forgotten here

and even fought agains

is every gain is a loss for some other one

and the game goes on and on

as long as we are willing to just play

and seek to sleep the night away


sleep was once a reunion

but in our time mostly attemped escape


escape from our self is not actually possible

but for so many

a sense of seperation has been achieved

our best effort

some situations are worthy of our best effort

some situations are worthy of our best willingness

some situations deserve a pass


we all have to find our own way

and no situation is ever the same

which is why training was obsolete from the start


training retards our ability to be who we are

and can only lead to untraining

which can be very painful for our self

and those around us


life as it is is sacred

but religions and governments and business

which are the people that create and support them

just can't seem to accept life as it is


the fact that we will all die in our own time

seems to have become a challenge to over come


being born is natural

in some sort of wierd way

as is ceasing to be

weaning

need is the clue with that one


needs keep us vulnerable and dependent


this place is designed to get us past that situation


and hopefully not too mean or arrogant

which was my mothers wish

another astrology comment

we all do experience our self

with same set of ingredients

in a different set of arrangements

in different sequences

and awareness is not a product of thought

science

science is a dead end street

as is fortune telling

and most religions

and certainly consumerism

and all that financial stuff


and the psychology stuff

offends me almost as much as the financial suff


profit is a really harsh mistress

rejection

rejection is just a backward way

to invite someone into your life and situation

violence

violence is a response to fear

and often an attempt to hide fear

or from fear


we each create our own fears

usually with outside help


fear can be faced standing up and face to face

without bluster

i have seen it so


there aint no security here

or anyway to hide from life

but that stuff sure is popular

war

basically war is insanity


which is why those kids coming back from war are so wierd

most of those trying to help them

do not yet know about the insanity experience

but they are getting there


without our center

we are less than nothing

and our modern situation is designed to mislead


from so many different directions at once

most religions are misleading

as are governments

and on and on and on


no one is qualified to tell us who we are

that is each individuals responsibility

and most of us were assaulted with propoganda

almost from birth


we have been taught not to trust our self

and reverseing that process can be quite an ordeal

depending how hard headed and ignorant we are

revenge

the greatest selfishness of all

and by far the most painful

when we seek to inflict pain on an other

no is not a real word

yet so many in our time cherish that word

and demand their right to use that word


no is without affermation

and a lonely place to be

and then things get worse

words

a few still speak their own words here

but not so many any more


most have forgotten how

devastated by the assault they have endured


most try to forget

but that just gets us no where

which ain't much fun at all

privacy

 this word has confused me greatly

every one that has used this word

has used it differently


some of me you are welcome to

some of me you are not


and all of them are different

different welcomes

different knots


great cahos is on the land

and we stupid humans are responsible

for all this lack of order

cause so few are being who they are


lies only go no where

life is an affermation of its truth

life is an affermation of its true nature


most of us today are coming up a little short

including me

and we got no one to blame but out petty little selves


we have been taught to be less than we are

but our truth is all that matters here


and the hardest part is

thruth is buried under all that frustration

which is mostly fear and anger

and when we deny that fear and anger

the suffering comes

again and again


i cannot face you

if i cannot face my self


all that fear and anger can be pretty scary

and somewhat hard to face

but the road home knows no favorites

and truth is the harshest mistress of all

the team

atheletes learn to play for the team

what if we are all on the same team

being with a girl

you can only be with a girl

if she is being with her self

you can only be with a girl

if you are being with your self

to see my self a little better

is the only way to see you a little better


which is just another reason to stay away from you

the breeze

the breeze is still out of the east

which is rare at any time of year

seeing clearly

every time you see your self more clearly

you see me more clearly


which is why such situations have not been so popular

so far in our time


those that manipulate us

hide behind our defences

free will

life allows its creations free will

within their natural limitations


here in the land of rules and regulations and laws

not many humans do the same

a noyed

heard a gal say she was a noyed

not sure what a noyed is

but she looked and sounded disapproving


just another way to make children feel bad


sometimes i make jokes about serious situations

wishing

any wish we make for another

we are making for our self


i would generally recommend

not getting involved in that wishing thing


we are obviously far to ignorant

to know what is best for us

manageable

the native people were confused by that word

they thought it ment kill me

and they were right

obedience to a stranger was required of them

and that had never happened before the strangers came


now strangers rule the land

and we are all confused


accept for a few that  claim to know what can not be known

constantine

constantine was converted to christanity by his mother

jesus had been long gone by then


christanity is a female religion

based on the down fall of man


all males must submit to the rules of god


no one is sure what the word god means

but in our time so many are abused by those that serve that word


to love a word must be a great sacrifice

one i am not willing to make

am too confused by all this stuff that makes no sense to me

important

so many today seek to be important


the defination of that word ain't all that impressive

bees

there is the queen bee

she gets to be the only one


and there are the worker bees

who do all the work

and be the many

and all those eggs

and the new girl bees that seek to be queen

and the new boy bees that just go on working

some of us

some of us are from our past

some of us are from our future

some of us are from today

and some of us seem lost and confused

winning and loseing

there are those that believe in winning

they are also the ones that believe in loseing

there are also those that wonder why fame and fortune are so cherished here


in some circles sucess is considered a failure

change

there are those that seek change

there are those that avoid change

there are those that wonder what change is

and there are those that have no concept of change

camp sites

some of us set up camp sites

some of us seek camp sites

some of us avoid camp sites

some of us go from camp site to camp site

some of us have no place to go

control

there is life under control

there is life out of control

there is life with no control

which could be called a young taoists dream

hurry scurry

everyone is in a hurry

no one knows where we are going

in spite of all those plans

the girl brought me chocolate and peanut butter today

she likes me

and she has known me for a couple of decades now

which is quite a while in our speeded up slowed down time

free

no thing is free in a capitalistic dominated society

and certainly not in a religiously dominated society

where their so called god requires so much of us

always the rules to be followed

which some one else decided for us

we the people


freedom is a threat to these organizations


and most today would fear free

so many seek to hide who they are and how they feel

and just carry on


life is never carried

although so many of us just drag life around

until we fall down


there are other options here

but only if we a willing to be and see


being is a passive state

as is seeing


and trying is a curse we learned from ignorant others

who cultivated our selfish tendencies for their personal gains

or so they thought


we actually are free

when we are willing to just be who and what we are

and make do with what we have

some times i wonder what this all means

not sure why i torment my self that way

use for life

for a time i had no use for life

i was too busy trying to keep up

and life just kept coming out of me


useing life came later

never got too good at that

was very confused and bewildered by that time


now all those years later

i sometimes wonder if life has any use for me

and apparently life still does

am still here

in this skin


i seem to have survived the impulses of my youth and middle years

now we face the later years

or perhaps the end of time


for most in our time

time is the ticking of a clock

the movements of the so called hands


humans were much better off before man invented the clock

and the time of the great slavery began

when men learned to use the clock to dominate men

and feed them with paper

which they could trade for food

or what ever was for sale

if they had enough paper


we were better off before paper also

but that isn't papers fault


we appear to be all that we have ever been

and all that we are

and all we will ever be

all at once but kind of sorted out

kind of like a card game

life is just a game

and all those serious bastards are spoiling the game


war and conflict ain't no fun

movies and vidio games are fun for a while

but only distractions from the fact that we ain't having no fun

most no longer know what fun is

and gratification the perverse game we play


what most today call love is actually gratifacation

which is personal satisfaction


love is far beyond personal


for most personal usually means private

sometimes a little show they are putting on

there ain't no cure for love

Leonard Cohen said that

and i agree


and perhaps we have ignition sequence

personal prefrences

we all have them

but the universal all that is

is remarkably impersonal

and we all have to find our way by our self

prejudice

one of the most dangerous ways we humans damage our self

Taoist Tales

by Raymond Van Over


one of my favorite little books


most of the books i have liked have been little

but not all


all is no thing

all is every thing

as i can see


am tired now

am going to bed

a girls preformance

i did not seek a girls preformance

i sought a girl


seeking is knot the way

seeking is an affirmation of a lack

as is want


life is without lack


life is beyond the boundries of lack

which so many of us have become so fond of imposing on our self

and just because we aren't getting what we want

i have seem baby birds and films of young bears dealing with that situation better than most of us human types


self pity is just self abuse

and self is all we actually have

sort of


ultimately we are all no thing

just like every thing

and yet we are


what if chooing is wrong

what if choosing is knot the way

once i knew a warrior

he lived by the sword

and defended those he loved with honor and enthusiasm


and then the dark time came

and the killing never stopped

no more parades

no more homecomings

just endless war


in time in desperation he threw down the sword

and said no more


the shield was a lot harder to let go of

which is the warriors other tool

and a symbol of war


in time i met some of those with no defenses


and in time i saw how challenging life can be

if you respond to a challenge with a challenge


the warrior had yet to realize

he had become hooked on competition

which is just war with rules

and rules are not natural

they are psychological defenses

which the law givers enforce with hired guns and attorneys

with the help of politicians who require the rest of us to pay for all this abuse


and on the story goes

Self

the only way to Know Self

is Openness To Selft

trying is a waste of time

and the sourse of great frustration

and all the nastiness that goes with that situation

emotional constipation

 the great curse of our time

and life the only relief

resistance is knot the way

and the wizards will work many wonders

read that somewhere a long time ago

the phrase reminds me of our time

girls

some girls are afraid of life

which is sad to me

cause life is what they are

your fellow creatures

be kind to your fellow creatures

they are also who you are


and we don't get a vote


our judgements are only passed on our self

noise

we humans make too much noise

such is disturbing to the planet organism

as is so much of all the stuff we do here

respect for life is in short supply in our time


because of the great torment here

so many of us have sought to escape our self

the great nakedness

so many fear that situation

and truth a long lost friend


there is the naked body

and the naked mind

and the naked soul


and courage is a false god

and of no value at all


don't much care for the value word

sounds too much like a merchant word

and life is not for sale


life is for ever free

and far beyond our control

which we attempt to hide behind

here we are

in the land of the thinker and the wanter

and idiots rule the land


and all we ever need exists within our self

beneath all the frustrations and fears

which we have been so mercilessly encouraged

to create for our self


this situation does not seem very nice to me


and the brutality sometimes really pisses me off

and sometimes makes me cry


krishnamurti was another clue

as was hitler

sometime life holds its self together

sometime life disperses its self

and we get to take the ride for a time

as all things do

we are the thing

and all things


jesus was right

treat your neighbor as your self

your neighbor is you too

thought

confusion is a product of thought

and reaching conclusions from thought is a very dangerious game


awareness is not a product of thought

awareness is a product of being

which is a passive state

and the source of all

what i like

i like to drink beer

and i like to fool around with girls

if they are friendly

and not too scared

girls are dangerious when they are scared

fear is a harsh mistress


i like to talk about life

but most have their mind made up

and expect me to accept their idea of what life is

and i have no idea what life is

but am pretty sure life is not limited to our petty little ideas of what life is

or what life should be

acceptance

some don't know what it feels like to be accepted for who they are

some are terrified at the possibility

some just wonder what the hell is going on here


some are caught up in the power of control

and some are just caught up


and here we are


the corn chips weren't very good tonight

they were stale

but i was hungry and didn't mind much

astrology comments

cancer  -  the great imagination

leo  -  the great display

virgo  -  the great service

libra  -  the great companion

scorpio  -  the great stering

sagitarius  -  the great what the heck happened here

capricorn  -  the great do what needs to be done

aquarius  -  the great observer

pisces  -  the great all that we are


aries and taurus and gemini are the great innocence

which has been greatly perverted in our time


so many claim to know who we are and what we should be

and great suffering is upon the land

and within


life allows us to do what ever we choose with life

so few in our time choose to let life be what it is


siddhartha was a clue

as was frankenstine


that which we are a part of

is all that is

we are all this crap

and all this crap has ever been

which is quite a lot of everything

and all this crap is ever yet to be


not sure if that is encouraging or depressing

probably neither and both

and a whole lot more yet to come


some have said life is love

even after all the time and all this stuff

i still agree


it don't seem to me that most people know what love means

and neither do i

but sometimes i feel better

 i don't know why

life

those that seek to conquer and control life

do not realize the magnitude of the opponet they have just chosen

which is ultimately the self

resistance

resistance is knot the way

and the source of all pain


especially when we resist our self


there is a difference between our self

and that which is only our frustrations

which are the result of resistance and rejection of our life

our placement on the wheel

distractions

when distractions become very popular as in our time

we a getting really fucked up


when we seek distractions from our situations with our self

we are among the lost

we are trying to lose our place with our self

and rejecting our situation with our self

insteading of dealing with our situation with our self


escapeism is the road to no where

which is just an illusion to get lost in

and when such becomes very popular

the children suffer

conflict

humans are often fascinated by conflict

football and basketball and soccer and hockey

and war and divorce and politics are so popular


this fascination could be due to our natures

or perhaps our training and conditioning

perhaps we have been misled

or perhaps misled our self

positive and negative

most modern people consider one good and one bad

that is just bullshit

and a dangerious way of thinking


positive thinking is distorting

as is negative thinking

when in balance they are one


the universe is positive and negative

as we all are

but are we half good and half bad


life is all in the blending

anti-life is in the accepting parts of life and rejecting others

which leads to imbalance

and great chaos and conflict upon the land


the good get together

and the bad get together

and usually make war on each other

and the children suffer


children are the product of opposites getting together in some way

we humans have a choice

opposites can accept and embrace each other

or reject and oppose and fight each other


peace is a nice word

have seen and experienced not so much peace in my time here


life is both creative and destructive

each and all in its own time

and the eaches aren't really qualified to decide how life should be

yet so many claim to be qualified to explain how we should live

which seems pretty ignorant and arrogant to me

we humans are really something

wanting

wanting is how we push what we want away


wanting is the reinforcement of a lack

by affirming it's lack of existense


and wanting makes us crazy


want and not want are the same

both are forms of rejection

two sides of the same nickle

marketing

those that market their self

manifest their self as cattle

or sometimes sheep


those that market others

manifest their self as slave traders

or as slave managers


and we have victims and victimizers

and those that hire out to help the victims

and those that hire out to help the victimizers


there are other ways to be


when profit is the only goal

life becomes very hard to see


goals are blinding by nature

and personal profit is a dead end street


and a great personal emptiness was up on the land


and this is not a product of nature

this is a product of man

who never created anything

he just rearranged a few pieces

and sold them as something new

beginnings and endings

we are conditioned to see life as beginnings and endings


life has no beginning or end

another one firefly night

when is was younger there were so many

proof

not a real word

kind of like poof

doesn't represent anything real

it is just an idea

what some say

some like to say don't mess with texas

i like to say don't mess with nature


nature is an manifestation of the creator

which we humans are not qualified to compete with


we will all ways lose that game


without respect for creation

we humans become less than nothing

and life becomes very distorted and pain full

we humans

we humans have become

the most arrogant creatures on the planet

at least so far

and i don't consider arrogance a blessing


most arrogance is a product of fear and insecurity

and the resulting frustration and angers

as we pursue control as the answer


and control is the most dangerous game of all

want and not want

want

humans generally put  at least a fair amount of energy in what they want

seems a natural situation to me for those that don't understand

and an opportunity to learn about life and self


today so much energy goes into not want for so many

which is a form of rejection

and learning is very difficult when the primary goal is escape

and avoidance

which creates a void


we humans are toying with powers we don't understand

and those powers are our self


thinking we know can be a dangerious game

and retards our learning experience

not being

it still amazes me how much energy

by so many people

goes into not being who they are


and usually being what they think they should be

and only the ignorant think

awareness is not a product of thought

being is not an idea

wilfullness

will fullness

was about to comment about that

but am going to pass

at least for now

ignore

to ignore any part of our life

is to lose more than a lot


by ignore i mean "pay no attention to"

which is what it was called when i was a kid

and obviously rejection

which means to the individual manifesting the manifestation

you or whatever does not exist

which does not make that actually so

except in that individuals so called mind

realize

if we don't realize what we are doing

we will likely not recognize what we are


recognition is a blessing or a curse

depending on how we feel about the self we get to be

and where we are

indignation

usually an old virgins response

but not always


but mostly


in dig nation

now that's probably a clue

forever

none of this stuff we see is as glorious as forever

and certainly doen't last as long


forever ain't what we call long

proud of yourself

often encouraged by parents and family and sometimes others in our time

but a very dangerious game to play

professional

those that do what they do for money

for personal profit or gain

not sure if gratification counts

but it probably do in some way


human beings

those that do what they do because it is their nature to do them

as do the creatures of the field

annoy

have been setting here tonight looking at that word

and its meaning


being annoying can be a perverse form of gratification


being annoyed seems to be a passive indignant sort of rejection


sounds like stuff stuck up people do


if we allow our self presence to become annoyed

the natural next step is to become annoying

unless we let go of the annoyed situation with our self


in my younger days i ofter entertained my self by annoying people

but mostly just those that annoyed me by being in my world


am still looking into what that word represents

if anything


perhaps re presents is a clue


it is obviously an expression of disapproval

and kind of what we used to call chickenshit stuff


haven't been proud of myself for decades now

feel like a pretty lucky guy

and i hope i'm not bragging after only four beers

truth

truth can only be yielded to

as all do in their own time


humans are unique among this worlds creatures

only humans can subjugate truth

or even seek to

and manifest a lie

an untruthful manifestation of self

seeing

seeing requires more than open eyes

true seeing requires an inner openness to our experience

without assumptions or preconcieved notions

or want

or not want

or hope

or fear

other

another stupid word

a form of rejection

which leads to isolation

and even greater ignorance


other is a very arrogant word

so often used by the ignorant


life is whole

and all is one

and you are just a different version of my self

admit the truth

not very popular in our time


truth often meets full blown rejection

in our time


that says a lot about us and our time


and our eagerness for the lies

says a lot about our situation with our self

salvage

salvation will not come at the hand of an other

education

a tool in the art of stupidity


education exists to train the work force

and keep us in line

as do religions


we are no longer permitted to find our own way

and so many eager to tell us how to live our lives

assumption

a tool in the art of being dumb

worry

worry is a form of abuse

when we worry we abuse our self

when we worry about another we abuse an other

when we worry about our self we abuse our self


most of us are not very objective

although we often claim to be

observation

learning how to observe

without evaluation

is how to regain mind

doctors

most doctors market their products

and the products of their industry

as do the mechanics and plumbers


most of them get paid better

wonder

without wonder

life becomes very small

management

those that a supposed to enforce the rules if they can

and if not able to

to report the situation to those that can


did a short stint in management

that was a long time ago

in the 60's


have avoided management as much as possible sense then


slave that enforce the rules over other slaves

is what i saw and was expected to be


then i got drafted

and got to be with another set of rules


and on the story goes

and i am no fan of rules

as i wander the hallways of my mind

wondering what all this might be

the boy sparrows

it the boy sparrows pursue other boy sparrows all the time

and ignore the girl sparrows

after a while there will be no more sparrows


the relationship between the male and the female

is what we are

what we get to be for a time


the conflict between the sexes

is probably the greatest threat of our time


yet religious programming for so long

has been trying to drive us apart

to drive us to being a part


when by nature we are a whole

hyper sensitivity

heard that term back the somewhere a few times


usually a product of being exposed to so much insensitivity


the brutality of our time is pretty merciless

and we all choose for our self

the human experience

not much i can say about that anymore

so much today is just play like stuff

mixed with emotional out bursts and violence

and tears



grudges are more common that companionship

courage a silly game boys and girls play

and love almost no where to be found


those that are experiencing fear and anxiety

have no concept of love

much less the experience


the only way to experience the human experience

is to yield to the human experience

control is how you kill it


those that control their self

usually wind up wanting to control others of our kind

and the creatures of the field


those that do not control their self

usually wonder why the rest of us act so wierd

on their better days

when the torment is not so great

the firefly

saw a lone firefly tonight

just out there doing what it was born to do

privacy

when privacy becomes the only goal or hope

there is little hope for a cure


i don't hope much anymore

but i sure see a lot of hope around me

misunderstand

most of us misunderstand

because we were never allowed to stand for our self


and now we stager around

seeking salvation or profit or both


and lots of other crap we don't really need


we actually only need our self


which we usually find a pretty scary and disappointing option                                                      

sacrifices

some are convinced sacrifice is the way to what they consider heaven


i personally favor affermation


and consider sacrificing a child

a great abuse of life


we humans ain't very qualified to play god

but we sure try

what i have done

am not sure what i have done

or what i am doing


i just keep up as i can

and sometimes cannot

winning

the only true winning is when everyone wins

if anyone looses

we all loose

is how it seems to me


there are those that gratify themselves by loosing

and proving they are the create or


or is a funny word

and never made much sense to me

being lost

getting confortable with being lost

is a great challenge to some


everyone wants to know for sure

that they are safe and secure


these people were raised in prison

and seek the security of walls

well trained children

well trained children become very robotic

and then usually very erratic

as they strain against the bonds


and the ones that submit

wind up in even worse shape


why should anyone need to say more about that

lonely women

we live in the land of lonely woman

which leads us to lonely man

if your me


am not sure what has happened here

and i have been here for 68 of what we call years


the girls are still a great mystery to me

as is my self

the state

so much of the news is about concern for the state of the state

i guess they mean what they call the state of the union

or something like that


my concern is for the state of the people

and the manipulators show no concern for that situation


money is a false god

which so many in our time serve so eagerly


money is just pieces of paper and some metal things

which we have been led to believe

leads to all our dreams


and it works pretty good

on those that are asleep and dreaming


we who are the victems of this crime


or are we just getting what we wanted

selling something

in this place so many want to sell us something

which is mostly just annoying


what we want to sell to ourself

is far more dangerious to our well being

secrets

there are the secrets we keep hidden from others

and the secrets we keep hidden from our self


hidden is a sad word

and a lonely place to be

pride and vanity

can only lead to shame

astrology

have had a curious facination with astrology for a long time

it's like a childs game that acturally can be a clue

but only is you don't try to use it

or figure it out as so many like to say today

control

the most dangerious word of all


the children are no longer permitted to find their own way

and that is a great crime against life

and us all


so many are trying to be what they are not

and so many avoiding their truth to please their family

or their friends

or their personal idea of what they should be

and the truth of our existence is no longer to be found

in the human race


it is rare anymore to face a man or a woman

almost everyone is trying to hide

and get what they want

and that is their only goal


i live in a time of great tragidy

something i read somewhere

man is the only creature that refuses to be what he is


don't remember who wrote it

for a long time i read a lot

arrogance

some wear their arrogance on the outside

some on the inside


have only met a few who weren't arrogant

the kitty girls cry out in the night

and some of them make no sound

and i was so sure

you had some chocolate hidden somewhere

if i do not know what it means to be me

i do not know what it means to be free

went outside without my pants tonight

did not mean to offend anyone

i just forgot

who knows what will become of me


now i am out here without my top

will have to wait and see what that means

our differences

are so emphasized today

and our common ground so neglected

the lighter

an old indian name

not many of them around much any more


and tonight two lighters were in the same pocket

i was there

recognition

life exists mostly in recognition

and much less in rejection

which is what it chooses to be



am not a big fan of it winning

am not even sure what it is

perhaps you have not seen your self in this life

that can be pretty scary

the bhagavad gita was one of my favorite books

as was siddharthia

thing

we are not a thing

but sometimes we can feel like a thing

as all things do

sometimes we try to hard

sometimes we do not try hard enough


that part can get pretty tricky

clues

there have been so many


recognition

not so much yet

but am still willing

as i can

to face the day


am not sure what day means


the other side of night does not help me much

embaressment

pride is a harsh mistress

and such a tragidy


the promoters of pride have done their job well

a case of wine

is not nearly as heavy as a case of champagne

the bottles are much heavier

a good idea

there is no such thing as a good idea

afraid

to make another afraid

is the greatest of all crimes

if your me

the only way to escape the game

is to lose the game

without cheating

proving something to our self

another popular game

but just another affliction

what does being mean

perhaps being open to what the moment brings


then we can wonder what moment means

and get lost again


we don't have to do that

but being is an almost lost art

Being

only life can fix us

and then only if we are willing to be


life is quite passive actually

to abandon all idea of ones self

now that would be an experience

and perhaps the greatest gift of all

the time we demand for ourself

says a lot about who and how we are with ourself

and what we do with that time says even more

respect

a very miss understood word

and so often abused

saying

what we are supposed to say

what we are not supposed to say


what we are supposed to do

what we are not supposed to do


a child being permitted to find its own way us no longer permitted


so many today believe in programing the children

and do with such solemn enthuesiasm

which i see a a crime against life

and therefore against all


and more conflict and violence is not going to help

thinking

passive thinking is a natural process

allowing the mind to assimilate and process


willful emotional thinking usually leads to a crime against life



getting what we think we want

ain't necessarily what life is all about


and awareness sure as hell ain't a product of thought

our natures

we all have an emotional

completely unique to ourselves


we all have a mental nature

completely unique to ourselves


we all have a physical/biological nature

completely unique to ourselves


we all have an essential nature

completely unique to ourselves

self deception

perhaps the most dangerious game we play with our self

of all the games we play with ourselves

most we usually learned from our parents and family

others we picked up along the way


and these games are mostly just self abuse

and we wonder why we aren't happy

sympathy

most of us have far too much sympathy for ourselves

mostly taught to us by others

a child finding its own way is no longer permitted


anger is a form of self pity

an aggressive way of feeling sorry for ourselves


sympathy and pity are a disease promoted by so many

and large numbers of us are addicted to them


wanting sympathy is a very vulnerable  position to occupy

and can be dangerious


hiding our self pity from ourself doesn't help much either

usually it just grows faster

where are we all going

i do not know

do not think any one else does either

am still willing

so far

the designer

some recognize

others design


some pay homage to life

some seek homage for themselves

and their own kind


own is another clue

another fake word

with no basis in truth

clothes

today we all wear clothes

which is the same word as close


we were all born naked

and seem to think life made a mistake


if we can not face our self

our greater and lesser self

no one else will either


except for the very few

and they will pay the price

for the opportunity

am bare ass ment

the story of us all

in spite of all our fancy pants

we were all born naked

as far as i know