our self

we modern humans

mostly in our time

seek happiness outside our self

and we become even more lost


the truth of our self

is all we can actually be


but we have lost our way

and mostly we lie

to get along

whatever that means


we seem to know so little of our self

and mostly seem to avoid our truth


and a great sadness is upon the land

life does not have to be that way


our attempts to create our self

and a better new world

have failed miserably

and we just try harder


life is a gift we have forgotten how to accept


but we sure do like to think

which is mostly a form

of mental masterbation


good grief

am so heavy tonight


sometimes being here makes me sad


i see lying to children as a great crime

and lying to our self an even greater one


we are rejecting life

and life has no joy for us


our creative thinking is to blame


awareness is not a product of thought

grownups

for a while i wondered

what being a grownup meant


mostly it seems to mean

acting like you know something

chile and argentina

both have been ruled by dictators


perhaps it is time for a new day


dictation is actually pretty boring


unless your a thinker

with great imagination

and masterbateing your self

with no hands

love

i know a guy

that loved a girl

and gave her everything

he was


and he came up empty

because she was

and had no love to give


he didn't care


and i think he still misses her

as i probably would


or so i like to think

hearing

hereing is the clue


listening is what we do

from our private place

as we seek information

which might be

to our advantage


advantage is not actually

a real word

although very popular

in our time


our so called advantages

are only grand delusions

as so many have learned

and have yet to learn

as they seek the advantage

self

those that do not like their self

will be unable to like your self


those that are unable to face their self

will be unable to face your self


and on we go

through heaven or hell

am sometimes not quite sure


don't even know what quite sure means

but here we are

remember

remembering too much

is no way to keep

your mind clear


remembering

sounds like trying

to put something past

or gone

back together again


together

to get her


seems a funny word to me

and probably a dumb idea


remembering yesterday

is a waste of today


unless you weren't actually there yesterday

in which case it could possibly be enlightening

lost in thought

a common malady

in our time


wandering the land

of endless ideas


mostly chasing rainbows

in our endless dreams


mostly unaware

of who we are


and too afraid

to face our self


we hide behind others

when we can


and we lie so eagerly

when we can't


and truth becomes the enemy

as we perpetuate our little scams


we try to be

what others want us to be

to get what we want


often we try to be

what we want to be

to get what we want


want is the clue

and the lack is from

not being our self


which has become the unknown

which we fear


there is no escape from life

but we sure do try

courage

a blind mans bluff


and sometimes

in our time

a girls


the girls try harder

and suffer the greatest


and some of the boys are jealous

we certainly don't envy them

life for me

life for me

is surviving

my own embarrassment


and all this other stuff


and i'm still here

wondering what to be


have always been

a little slow


being on this planet

is still a little difficult

for me

the oklahoma city trains

the sound of the trains

blowing their horns

as they pull our of oklahoma city

is a part of oklahome city

if your me


have lived here quite a while now


worked in the railroad yards

for a while a long time ago


or so it seems now


i still like the sounds

as does the girl

who happens to be my wife

at the time


those people in brick town

don't remember brick town


or they wouldn't be so ashamed

love

have no idea

what love is


i do know

love is all encompassing


still struggle with that part

can truth be found

and the truth by man be found

the truth that is  -  yet makes no sound

here inside the breast i'm told

in this heart that has grown cold

does the truth of spirit live

with its gift of love to give

if we would only take the time

to open up and let it shine

as the sun so fills the sky

with its gift that none can buy

gives its self in such great splendor

in no way a selfish lender

so could man live in this way

sharing light with each new day

but we must give ourselves to love

let life enfold us like a glove

then we would in time all see

what great joy that life can be

when we just let love take hold

of the heart thats grown so cold

i get pretty hokey sometimes

and often embarrass my self

cursin' and nursin'

cursin' and nursin'
she went on her way
the child at her breast
as yet had no say

but in its own time
as life went along
it found in its self
its very own song

no hugging or kissing
for this little buy
he'd reach for the stars
tho he doesn't know why

the girls in his life
were so cold and aloof
why fool with them
they're their very own proof

they all want a guy
who will serve them quite well
and they make their best deal
as their goodies they sell

but he was alone
he had nothing to trade
and for awhile
he was somewhat afraid

could life be worth living
with no woman to love
or was this a gift
sent from heaven above

for these past years
he has wandered alone
tho once in a while
he would pick up a phone

and remember her number
it just won't go away
but he can't dial it
he knows what she'll say

her mind is made up
it's as simple as that
so his dream is for nothing
oh she's such a brat

no  -  that's not true
for he loves her still
and knows in his heart
that he always will


how could he not


she's so beautiful

feminests

am no fan of feminism

they seem to think

a boys club for girls

is the answer to our problem


i don't agree


i see clubs as the problem

and private clubs

the worst problem of all


life is much more

than a private experience

which is very small

and limited

modern religions

modern religions

are male dominated

in our time

and i consider them to be

the weak link

in the chain of life


this planet is obviously female


i consider domination

to be a curse

and a great egtistical

crime against life

as a whole

a book

maybe some day i will write a book

and i will maybe call the book

wandering around in heaven

creation

if you want to play at creation

the one rule is

never create anything

you are not willing to be

because you will

nine beers

probably my indian name

icebergs

icebergs look pretty formidable

at first glance


but they all turn out to be

just big puddles of water

in their own time

plans

how we humans

learned to fuck our self around

more efficiently


and our creations

ain't near as cute

as what we like to call

the real thing

which is ever beyond

our grasp


which is our salvation


humans are not born to control

humans are born to be humans


and our ideas

only mislead us

thinking

we always

at least mostly

do our thinking in private


thinking is our private world

and we seem to have become lost

in our secret place

which is very lonely


life is out here

all the time


i don't speak of what i know

i speak of what i see


no apology was intended


much of what i see

i don't speak of


some times i cry


if all this means anything

life has not yet shared meaning with me


but for some reason

i still have great affection for life


and i feel very lucky


still not sure why


probably my little ego again

knowing

knowing is retrospective

and always a little behind

the thinker

saw a picture of a statue

called the thinker


it looked pretty dumb

to me


and the posture was silly

even ridiculous


someone posing naked like that

trying to be wise


awareness is not a product of thought

but insanity is


posing it's self

is an artificial placement


thinking you know

is by far

the most dangerious

game of all

help

so many in our time

think they want to help

yet they mostly

make life harder


we attempt to create

what we see to be good

yet all human creations

are artificial


creation is not our job

we are part of creation

imitation of life

seems like that title

was an old movie

maybe a book


we humans have become

so infatuated with life

and imitating life

by trying to figure our life

and copying life

from our limited understanding


we are missing out

on our greatest potential


which is to be life

clocks

life doesn't need clocks

life is the time keeper

where we were

if we can't be

with where we were


we will never be

with where we are


where we are

is where we were

popular ideas

am not a fan of popular ideas


although i live in a place

that seems to live for

popular ideas


ideas just divide us

being makes us whole


life is far more

than our ideas


thinking about life

is just another way

to ignore life

foot prints in the sand

all we will ever be

in spite of all our foolish efforts


what we are

is the gift


how we respond

to the gift

is our gift


allowing the gift

to be the gift

is the greatest

gift of all

planet earth

a place where

the best and worst

of life

come to get her

and some times meet

x plane

not sure what x plane means

but have spent a lot of time there


most english speakers

spell the word explain


sounds like a guilt derivative

an attempt to buy someone off

with words

the price

there is a price

for every thing we sell


and often what we trade

being

being is a gift

and being is free

knowing

as soon as you think you know life

you start to get behind life

as in left behind life


as soon as you think

you start to get behind life


them birds don't seem to be thinking

but they sure are keeping up with life


and the squirrels and the bees

and all the rest of that stuff


only we humans claim

to want to make life better

and look what we have done

winning

a lot of situations in life

would be a lot more fun

if we wern't trying to win at life


we are way out of our league

at that game

the way

we each must find

our own way

which ain't permitted much

in our time

you capitalist people

you want to put everyone

out of work

and put the thing in charge


that don't seem

a very smart move

to me


when profits become

more important than people

and the creatures of the field

and the field

we all go in harms way

hiding

i met a girl once

that was trying

to hide from me


the problem was

i wasn't hiding


which was also

the attraction

suffering

we all must face

our own suffering


which is the only way

to be free

of suffering


certainly don't expect

to be

very popular

truth full

life must all ways

be faced


sooner

or later


life don't seem

to care


we humans

came up

with caring

life

saying yes to

some parts of life


and no to

some parts of life


leads to incompletion


and great chaos

is up on the land

and in the soul

of man

we people

we seem so determined

to change life


and then we get stuck

with what life actually is


with such an attitude

lifes a bitch


cause rejection of life

ain't no way to live

write a book

maybe some day

i will write a book


i will call the book

the dragon

who loved me


and then

i will run for cover

ambition

probably

 the most dangerous word

of all


that we humans

as a part of all

have come up with yet


we seem to see so clearly

but


look a what we are seeing