the ultimate stupid word

as is know

promises

restrictions we place on our self

which restrict our freedom

usually for an insecure person


promise is a really stupid word

created to keep us in line as they say

winning

winning is not the point of the game we play


perhaps it is how we play the game


i don't actually know

a want

is an affirmation of lack


and such is not possible

as long as i still want

i am a cripple


a want is an affirmation of lack

an old proverb i just made up

or was perhaps given to me

which is more probable


if i can't let go of you

will probably never be able to be with you

vengence

vengence is a terrible word

and not worth my serious consideration


make them pay

lead to capitalism

and our downfall


there is no price for life

life is priceless

i actually have more than one friend

which may be a record in our time

my wife

she is a modiste girl

as is her nature


and a flagrant girl

as is her nature


and a dangerous girl

if you push her to far


and my friend


she is a lot like my other friend

life support

one must be life support

to receive life support


there are many here today

claiming to be seeking life support


but they are actually seeking personal gain

which is not life support


and your efforts will be in vain


to actually help another

requires actually sharing their pain


welcome to heaven

secret

i also find that a false god

yet secrets are so popular in this time

this or that

this or that

or both

or neither

or neither either one


am not sure what both means


and neither makes no sense to me at all


all is the clue

courage

the little mans god

if i were sure

i probably wouldn't be being me


probably is a pretty arrogant word


we still like to be with that part in secret

bad

the dark side of good


and no one knows what good is


yet so many people lie

the dogs

there is a time to let the dogs play

and a time to tell them to shut up


and the trick is

not to forget what time it is


this is for my friend j


didn't want to say her name

poetry

wrote poetry for a while


but not in a long time

comments

we seem to be down to me


i can't seem to take politicians seriously

our problems

our problems

can only be with our self


no matter who we accuse of

being responsible for that

courage

a false god

and of no value at all


all is the clue

anger

an expression of self pity


and then bad things happen

the point of life

some people think the point of life is to get what they want


the point of life is to be who we are


a human being


we are mostly humans thinking

and wanting and fearing


life does not have to be that way

salvation

salvation is not for sale

and certainly cannot be earned


salvation can only be a gift

and yielded to


because life is free

am not all that scary

but am pretty devoted

to what i consider truth


am still looking into that stuff

a statement of fact

you mess with young girls

you answer to me

as long as i can


and i am a male human

here in this body


and my father was a man

sometimes we choose a higher standard

sometime a higher standard chooses us


which is not necessarily

under our control


control is such a stupid word

and most everyone is fascinated by that word


control is the gift that just keeps on taking

us winners and loosers

had more in common than we know

to have always lost and never won

is also very misleading

to have won and never lost

is very misleading

winning and losing

someone who has never lost

has no concept of winning

and someone who has never won

has no concepts of losing


he who has won and lost

is potentially more aware than  most

here in our time

you come in with nothing

you come in with nothing

you go out with nothing

and there is nothing in between


all that is a lot to be open to

to reject you

is to reject my self

and i cannot seem to to that

but i have tried

am tired

am going to bed now


bed is a strange word

not sure what it means


and it may be the final clue

there ain't no it

this is all me

to be with an other

i have to be able to survive an others pain

and our time has so much pain

if you are avoiding your self

you will certainly be avoiding me


a voiding is a clue

void is a big empty

straight arrow

straight arrow

what i thought i once was

but actually i am drawn to curves

today

now that is an other story

and do not know what that means either


am giving up hyphens

yesterday

i don't know what yesterday means

and i don't know what tomorrow means

but i have to be me

as i can

all the time

the land of you con me

the land of you con me

was born there once

and lived there for a time


not so much any more


more is a real funny word


as long as you don't take it too seriously


it is a harsh and brutal mistress to serve


some people still think they are things


some of us still think

and awareness is not a product of thought


perception may be a better word

one thing i have learned about me

am never going to be manageable

what do you think sugar


i can't even manage my self

sure don't want to hire someone else to


and probably won't offer myself to some control freak

to be accepted and rejected

to be accepted and rejected

in such an efficient manner

is a pretty terrible place to be

if you are that which is being accepted and rejected


and ultimately for whoever is doing the accepting and rejecting


as i have said so many times before

life is all that is


all is what we are


selection is a game for idiots

i may not be who you are looking for

but i still am

wanting me

perhaps the greatest crime of all

if you want to possess and own me

for your very own

cause i was born to be free

the study of the human neuroses

the story of my life

part of me studies life

and life is intangible

which is why science is such a waste of time


humans today mostly accept what they like

and reject what they don't like

and life is all that is


to be accepted and rejected so regularly

is very confusing

and often leads to what we call insanity


i like what i like

because it feels good


i reject what i don't like

which is not very gratifying

and it gets to feel rejection of what it is

which does not feel very good


that is the nicest thing i can say about that stuff


so many today go to that safe place

where they don't feel anything

a little poetry

truth is


truth is not through effort found
accept what is  -  don't search around
for truth exists in all you see
there is no way this could not be

a narrow mind can be deceived
so open up and be relieved
of all confusion  -  fear and dread
that stuff's all in side your head

you can see if you'll stop thinking
it dulls the mind like too much drinking
an open heart is all you need
let go all the senseless greed

you try and try and just get nowhere
then you bitch and claim it's not fair
don't try to force it and you'll see
that love and life and truth are free

your mind can see  -  but you must let it
try too hard and you'll regret it
a willing heart is all it takes
effort just puts on the brakes

it's all been  -  there is no new
tho this is known by such a few
life itself is all creation
and love eternal celebration

comments

these bastards don't comment

but what do you say to that


i probably wouldn't either

the lucky strike man

that would be me

have smoked lucky strikes for many years now


there are those

who have told me

that lucky strikes cause cancer


and i have told them

that the fear of cancer causes cancer


and wondered why they promoted that crap


that was before i researched where i had been being


being young and dumb was where i was born

and mostly i don't mind


and i don't mind saying

being afraid of cancer causes cancer

and that fear is being cultivated in our time

by the little pricks that would rule us


am no fan of being ruled

but don't expect to win the next election


which is all about

who will rule us for the next four years


i am no fan of rules


and knowing my wife has made me a little nicer

than i actually am

she is a kinder part of me

than i had seen before


as was my other friend                                  

9.01 pm

what the clock said when i had this thought

not sure what time it is now


sometimes i still wonder

and sometime i still know


but mostly i still wonder

being human has it's limitations

dis-ease

not being comfortable with ones self


dis-ease leads to disease

it disables our immune system

once i felt like saying something about all this

now i wonder why

courage

courage was my grandmother

she died before i was born


and here we are

the invincible one

a girl i once knew

and still do


saw a picture of her once

i still remember


one must be still to remember

has been my experience


and remembering can be painful

if you weren't really there the first time

one or the other

to choose is to lose

thirds

one third is spent sleeping

one third is spent thinking

and the final third is spent

wondering what one/we just did

or didn't do


until we don't think so much

and give being a chance

truth

that which is sacred to some

not so much to others

a soft rain

a soft rain allows us to be more organic

not so much gets washed away

unkind

so much unkind here

was born in a sad little world this time

so little kindness

and most don't even know what kindness means

but some of the people here act like they do


i don't much care for acting

such is ok in the movies sometimes

not so much in everyday life

courage

a false god

one i have tried to face

many times

apologize

not sure if i should ever do that

especially not for being myself

being old

being old

wondered about that for a while


and later realized

that was not possible


life is forever new


as old as i am

am constantly being exposed to something new

sometimes when i look at you

sometimes when i look at you

i see me


but not all ways

i have a sexual attraction to the girl

and she became afraid

this control freak land i live in

some call it the land of the free

i call it the land of crippled children

where the rules are endless

and freedom a lost art

and everyone is afraid of the dark

which is just our imagination

just another product of thought

like all this other stuff


thought is a crippling disease

and of no value at all

awareness is not a product of thought

but oblivion is

welcome to my world


couldn't sleep tonight

and decided to get up and complain about what i have seen


freedom has no rules


freedoms just another word

for nothing left to lose

now that made sense to me

there is no security in freedom

no jails or prisons

or even any death penalties


forgive me if you can

and if you can't

hi


cause there ain't no that

there is only we and me

the boy

the boy is not qualified to evaluate the fathers position

until he has evaluated his own position


and the same goes for the girls

the girl

the greatest question of all

if you happen to be a man


am a big fan of all

life

real life has no past

the catch

not much of a catch

even here in the land of the caught


life never ment to be a little place

but here i am

capitalism

the latest form of slavery


just because they say you are free

doesn't mean you are


life has nothing to do with how we think


thinking is a retards dream


and we are so many

and thinking is so popular


thinking is retrospective

and of the past

and life is always of the now

freedom

that which i would serve

if i knew how

comments

that don't happen much here

if you seek salvation

stay close to home


and never approach freedom

the killers

what do the killers do

when killing won't help


and so few recognize the truth

being old

never wanted to be that

but here i am


was born in 44

1944


was born that year


and perhaps died


kind of a tough truth to stand up to


and perhaps the story of my life


which i have stood up to

as is can


and this sure ain't a brag

religions

religions have rules of conduct

as do governments

am no fan of rules of conduct

they restrict freedom

the friend

perhaps the hardest thing to be

caring

the scariest game of all

to be loved by a girl

when one is such a stupid man

is kind of amazing

if your me


and a really cool girl

still likes me


maybe a couple

so it seems to me


and am no fan of it

we can only be free

if everyone is free


i know it ain't popular

but we are everyone

in some sort of way

courage

has been no friend of mine

the average male

the average male doesn't have a clue about girls


and the exceptional male even less

girls

girls never tell boys the truth

they are much wiser than boys

and far more experienced


and the girl knows

if i have to tell him the truth

he ain't who i am locking for

independent

there is no such thing as independent


although the idea has become very popular

the last of the lucky strike smokers

that would probably be me


the last of the pall mall smokers

died a while back


as far as i know


far is a scary word


as is know

some of us are hear to put out the fire

and some of us are ignition sources

and some of us are just here


and just wonder

what is going on


and are not much sure

who on is


yet sometimes it's me


and am often so ashamed

some of us are born

some of us are born

for those who survived

some of us are born

for those who did not

life on a hand shake

is different than life on a contract


life is not about lawyers


and there ain't no cure for love

surrender

we appear to have two parts

one that desires to surrender

and an other that don't


not sure at this point if peace is even possible

defenseless

the only path to freedom and peace


the shield is as much an instrument of war

as is the sword


that sure ain't going to be popular

but if we don't quit fighting

we will never find peace


the desire for conquest and domination

has led to hell on earth

young dogs bark

young dogs bark

because they are afraid

old dogs bark

because it is all the know


it is the clue

to all us educated ignorant people


when life became all those it's to us

we became isolated and alone

and afraid of our selves


our many selves

trying

the curse of our time


and so little interest in being

my sister

i still like her

but she has no use for me

sound

sound is much slower than light


if you only heard something

you probably didn't see

girls

the only hope this little world has

and this little world doesn't support girls anymore

it just uses them


and i am no fan of the current system running this show


i am no fan of systems

or science

or religions

or capitalism

or governments

or pride

or shame

or salvation

or any of that other stuff being offered to me here


without truth we are nothing


and although truth is a popular word

most people i have known

want no part of truth

except for a very few


and courage still scares me

and am no fan of fear

courage

a false mans weapon

and only designed to impress the girls


and of no value

when facing another man


if you can find one

not caring

the greatest of all feelings

is free of caring


not caring is the opposite of caring

and the same as caring


hoping and wanting and longing

just leads to anxiety

has been my experience

hey sugar

this has always been about freedom


without freedom

we are nothing