hope

not much of a word

when i was younger

was mostly a game for unhappy children to play

and not really much fun

what does a dragon do

when confronted by a man of fire

lonely puppies

tonight i heard another one

crying into the night


good night my friend

who ever you might  be

pipeliners

those keystone guys

and some others

want to put you guys to work


my father was a pipeliner

i mostly liked him

except for a few years when my opionion was important to me

and what i wanted

which he did not consider his concern

he didn't want anything from me

or need anything from me

art

art is what it is

if one can see without prejudice

which can be difficult

for the educated and trained

who usually become believers

and then hopers


and art goes on being what it is

cause it ain't got no place to go worth going

it's friday night

the kids are home from the ball game

rain and maybe storms are coming

ou and notre dame play football on tv tomarrow afternoon

it's a pipeliners holiday

leaders

as long as people want leaders

there will be leaders


as long as people want followers

or to follow

there will be leaders

of followers


as long as people want

they will be slaves


need can be a clue

but we mostly cheat

in our time

our shell

we could live more freely

without the shelter of our shell


perhaps this is the next or last egg


self imposed shells are the hardest to break

has been my experience

we can be so proud of ourselves

hateful women

one can give them what they want

and be with that


or be what they want

and be with that


or pass on this situations

as quietly as possible if possible


or you could just face her

and see where that gets you

words

mostly pebbles dribbling from our mouths

falling harmlessly to the ground


sometimes little puff balls

designed to influence others


sometimes hurtful things

designed to influence others


and we all must find our way

together

the people in charge

the people in charge are usually dick heads

which is what they have been trained to be


am not a big fan of training

am mostly consider such things an abomination

the window we are looking through

most of us get to look at life through a very small window

how small the window gets

is determined by the choices we make

for as long as we decided to make choices

comfortable to ones self

if one cannot be comfortable with ones self

one will never be comfortable with an other

life is sharing

and we become what we share

even if only with our self

here

here is whever i am

as is hear

but that stuff is usually more of the same in our time

evaluating others by our own standards

this is how we make life small

and our self even smaller

sleep

sleep can be wonderfull

unless we use sleep for a hiding place or escape


that stuff just gets us lost


life is a yes word


no just a word meaning to get lost now

often pretty demanding

what i saw tonight

i saw a young girl

walking down a dark street

pushing a bady carrage

she was tired


i also saw a young guy

walking down a dark street

playing with a video game

he was nervious


that passed down the street this evening

right there in front of me

noise

there is a lot of noise in our world today

i find noise mostly to be meaningless sound


and perhaps we have lost something special

like the presence of our self


so many are not comfortable with their self in our time

and great chaos is upon the land


mostly we have been told what to do

and forgot how to find our own way


finding our own way was not permitted

and our own way became a stranger to us


that path can be harsh

but our self is all we can ever experience here

and all those other selfs


truth is pretty much unexplored in our time

and usually feared greatly


when one has addapted to the land of the lie

truth contact usually is at first painful

depending on how many lies we have swallowed

and made up to make us feel more comfortable

what a place to be born

no one will tell me anything

and those that will are lying

security

there is no security here

dream at your own risk

the pile

we are just another twig on the pile

it seems to me

each in our own time

in our own way

if we accept our way


no one knows where we come from

or where we go


one is the clue


once i was of the warriors

not so much any more

fighting didn't help the native population

an old proverb i just made up

first there was the irresistible force

and the immoveable object


then there was the irresistible object

and the irresistible touch


and great chaos was upon the land

found

a strange word to me

sort of


i found a lot along the way

am not sure what that means


perhaps life is beyond meaning

and mean

self

understanding our self

is the only way to understanding an others self


trying to make our self into something

is a form of self rejection

liberty

most in our time aren't too concerned about liberty

they just want a job


the creation of money was the end of all that liberty stuff

and business took over the world

the part and the whole

the part and the whole have an intimate relationship

in the best of times


not so much in our time


so much conflict

so little peace

and we humans are responsible for that situation


greed and the desire for power is the greatest curse of all

as far as i can see


this situation is a product of insecurity

and such a response leads to more widespread insecurity

as the children turn on their selves

and great suffering and sadness is upon the land


we humans are the only problem this planet has

and it doesn't have to be that way

but we have a lot of growing up to do


feeling sorry for our self will make our situation worse

the book of life

the book of life cannot be written

and therefore never read


life is an experience

and resistance is knot the way

as is knowledge

and belief

and all that other mental stuff

which just makes us isolated and alone

with all the frustration that goes with that crap


life is to be lived

a truthful heart can lead the way

whatever that means


honesty is far short of truth

mental

the more mental we become

the less human we become

and life becomes harder to see


mental is just part of what we are

now

most today exist in yesterday

and the dread of tomorrow

with hope or some other silly emotion in between

some of that stuff is really dangerous

if you don't care much for pain


now is all there is

all there ever is is now

which can be a challenge here in the land of great escape

so much stuff to escape into


i realize just being don't sound all that interesting


interesting is usually just a form of curiosity

generated by an idea

which are figments of our imagination

and on we go down the rabbit hole

guidance

guidance ls from within


the chatter in our brains

and the frustrations in our belly

make us deaf and blind

and make us a threat to our self

and those we call others


the rest of the story is yet to be experienced


we humans carry a unique potential


our traditions are not what we are

they are only what we have been

and less than all we can be

for better or for worse

or for no gain or loss

stand up

stand up and be

stand up and be who you are

and respond to life as is your nature


stuff like that is all i know

the rest is up to life

and not my business

brain washing

we have been brain washed almost from birth

by our parents

in our schools

by big busniss

television

religious dogma

patriotic indocrination

friends

classmates

and on and on and on

truth is rarely seen

now we just believe and hope for the best

mostly because we are afraid not to

and sadly most of us just try to act like everything is ok


living and being our truth without interference has not been permitted


our future has yet to be determined

the rest of our life has yet to be lived

our truth exists within our being

yet mostly restrained by our training and programing and beliefs


awareness is not a product of thought


we each must find our own way

self is the clue

being is the gift


we are often called human beings

yet a human being is pretty rare in our time


i see a lot of humans acting and preforming their little games

i see humans hoping and wanting and praying

i see humans lying to others and their self

i see humans doing terrible things to each other

and sometimes what could be called nice things by some


i rarely see a human just being anymore


we have been taught to think and remember the rules

and to deny the children the right to be who they are


our essence is our way

our truth exists in the silence within


probably ought to deleat all this

guess not right now


being is not achieved by trying or any great effort or sacrifice

life is a gift


but talk is cheap

and this mess looks too big to  clean up to me

but where we go remains to be seen

electronic doodads

watched a girl walk down the street this afternoon

she was talking on her phone

and paying no attention to the world around her


this evening just saw a guy walking down the same street

he was look at his glowing screen

and paying no attention to the world around him


tigers would find easy pickings in this world

white cats

just watched a white cat walk down the street at night

white cats have a harder time hiding than most other cats

would seem a disadvantage to me

but have no memory of ever being a cat


do have memories of war that are not of this body

but they still remind me of where i have been

and sometimes how i got there


this is another time

and new choices here to be made

and i am my story today

up to now

which keeps moving around


the center is both the hole

and the whole

so it seems to me

knowing

for those who require or demand knowing

life can be pretty hard


once i wanted to know

and beat my head on that wall for a while

only  a few years


life is the great unknown

and life is the gift


all our wanting just pushes life away


wanting is a form of rejection

of what this moment actually is

and a desire to escape truth


in our own time

we all must face the dragon

and the dove

what jacob said to his father oron

there are no girls here to choose from

and oron said

then don't choose

only a girl can choose

assumptions

kind of a silly word

have been tempted to assume many things in this life time


not so much anymore

hello

what ever that means

welcome or something like that


courage is a false god

and bravery the little bastard i chased around for a while


now i just am

pretty much

most of the time

black holes

just watched a science show on tv

it was a little interesting


the universe does come forth from nothing

and returns to nothing

as do we all

all at once

hope

the last gasp of believing


and a rather desperate attempt to escape


that which we are attempting to escape is the clue

greed

to place our self ahead of all others


the clue is

others is just an illusion

a figment of our imagination

a product of thought


welcome to our time

nothing

most today so fear the word nothing


nothing is short for no thing


our essense is no thing

and all things


don't enjoy talking this way mostly


some thought i was a follower of religion

which i currently consider a curse upon the land

as i do capitalism and bankers and selfish girls

the edge of feeling

close to the edge of feeling


only a few will know about that

the rest of them are gone

confusion

confusion is a product of thinking


and then the body becomes confused

weary soul

although the soul is sometime weary
and the winter nights quite dreary
still the spark of life burns brightly
to the truth it still clings tightly

life is something we don't see
eternal gift that's always free
yet in our time so unrespected
the sacred trust now long neglected

man himself is born to serve
though from truth we chose to swerve
no longer hearing life's true voice
feeling he knew best his choice

perfect order slipped away
as new ideas shaped the play
all the stage was rearranged
from nature he was soon estranged

a war of will soon came about
each sought to be the loudest shout
love and grace would be no more
each culture rotten to the core

now our lot is pain and strife
fear and greed throughout our life
yet still the spirit loves us all
in the heart you'll hear its call

an age of rages fills the land
all thought out by man  -  well planned
no more serving true creation
to his fellows  -  no relation

greed and profit  -  that's the boss
sarcasm we so freely toss
loving kindness is no more
oh the harvest we're in for

for all will reap what we do sow
the price we'll pay begins to show
as sickness grows with every day
still we carry on this way

prophets all have spoke the word
though we nod  -  we have not heart
still ourselves we seek to serve
strive and kill  -  such mindless nerve

a mighty blow will be our fate
for without love it is too late
man in truth could still return
it's not too late  -  we still could learn

from life  -  you hear it in the heart
an open mind is where you start
the spirit lives and loves us all
but we must listen for its call

hear me now  -  oh lord of light
standing in this land of fright
thy presence is no longer felt
by those that fear their heart will melt

strange contortions rule us now
we speak of peace but don't know how
your truth we chose to push aside
for love we substituted pride

now crimes and violence fill the land
and sickness plagues this weary band
the time is right  -  it seems to me
for you to show us how to see

what man one knew  -  but then forgot
and in ideas soon got caught
now delusions fill our brains
the smallest spark of life remains

i know it's bold  -  but help us out
please forgive  -  but i must shout
it seems to me you wait too long
for man to understand his wrong

perhaps i should not be so bold
i know the plan must all unfold
but the pain of all i've seen
leaves me not of patience keen


wrote those words a long time ago

they seem kind of hokey to me now

here in the land of insecure children

of which i am one


have no idea where those words came from

they were just being with me that day

how it once was

and oron spoke to his son jacob about how it once was

about how the land once supported mankind and the creatures of the field

in the beginning the cycles of manifestation were the greatest power

the cycles of dispensation regulated all life on this plane

the fruits of nature came and went

each learned to work and live within the order

or it died

there was no way to cheat

the forms of life came forth and grew and evolved

ran their natural course of existence

and died in their own time  -  as all things must

but the force or spirit of life once more cloaked its self in the material of this plane

to come forth again and again in its apparently endless sequence of expressions of its self

each more refined and remarkable than the one before

this is how it once was

as the creative force wove the glorious fabric of life

a living cloak upon this once barren globe

at some point in time  -  i know not when

the idea arose in man that he could or should take charge of this life

to make things better for himself

that he need not accept the cycles of dispensation as life provided

and took away

perhaps he thought or desired not to die in his own time

or that his children or wife should not die

this is not known to me

all that is known is that mankind came to rebel against the order of life

perhaps this is the natural next step for man

i do not know

in any case  -  man made many changes in this world

apparently to improve his situation

that he might not have to strive and struggle and die

that life might be made easier  -  and last longer

how and why is lost in the passage of time

all that is known is that man became greedy and selfish and feared for himself

once man took only what he needed to live and there was balance in this world

but man then came to take more than he needed

and deprived others of this kind

and the creatures of the field

what they needed to live out their allotted span of time

the order of life was disrupted

soon the vast green cloak of the forests began to disappear

slowly at first  -  but with ever and ever increasing speed

for a time nature could heal the wounds to the body

but as man sought more and more not to die  -  with his vaccinations and his cures

the population grew and grew

and began to overwhelm the natural life support system of this plane

more and more the great canopy of the forest disappeared

the creatures of the field  -  who also make up the fabric of life on this plane

began to disappear

the atmosphere and climate began to change

the concoctions of man to improve his lot in life

began to sterilize and poison the earth

whole species were destroyed to man safer

and gorge his belly beyond any reasonable need

the signs of decay and corruption were clear

but man refused or was unable to see the error of his ways

the great crime being perpetuated on the fragile beauty of the earth

and ultimately upon himself

man created new systems to support himself

and as each failed in time  -  sought to create another and another

each failing more quickly than the last

it is not known if this journey man has taken is wright or wrong

perhaps we have failed at our destiny

perhaps not

all that is know by me is that man suffers greatly amid his own creations

has brought this suffering upon himself

by not accepting the gifts of life as they are offered

and accepting their loss when they are reclaimed by the order of things

the creatures of the field are born and die in their own time  -  without complaint

i have seen it so

in our own time  -  we must make our own choices


the order of things is another clue

the last beer

he who takes the last beer

should place two in its place

the girls make the rules


my mother was a woman


my father was a man

who probably took the last beer

and didn't know the rules

need

there was a time i thought i needed some one

there was a time some one thought she needed me

and here we are


need is not a valid option


and here we are


currage just gets us some place worse


sometimes the brave die more quickly

which ain't all that big of a deal


if you see what we are doing

losing

if you don't know what losing means

with a hug

and not a grin

you probably don't speak the language of life

salvation

am not sure what that word means

salvage i guess

am not even sure it's a real word


salvation implies life can be lost

and i don't agree

perhaps misplaced for a time

but never lost


the thinkers are perhaps the greatest curse of our time

they are so creative

but creation is all that is


and man has become an arrogant little bastard


and we are all about to see what come next

use

mostly in our time

people just use other people

and the creatures of the field

and the field

for their personal gain


there is little respect for the sovereignty of life

in our time

a girl

a girl spends the afternoon pulling weeds

and i get to watch

for i am the chosen one


had never paid much attention to weeds before

was just so fascinated by girls

but the girl is paying so much attention to those weeds

and i was tempted

for a while

a lone

once again i am a lone

just like everyone else


a lone seems to be our common ground

and sometimes a loan

want

to become devoted to a want

is to go in harms way

and perhaps a source of geat harm

words

words have become just an escapests dream

used mostly to sell something to their self and others

pride

probably the greatest curse of all

and so popular in our time

and so many times


we humans seem particularly susceptible to that affliction


pride is one of the more perverse forms of personal gratification

right up there with child pornography

and some other stuff i won't mention

commercial interests

commercial interests have no respect for life

neither mine nor yours or the creatures of the field

or the field


when profit and personal gain are the only goal

we all lose

new

a word we know little about

as we seek to create an old idea

which was planted in our minds

and did not originate in our self


ideas are out of date from their conception

and just the result of our conditioning


life is forever now

which is just another word for new

which is all life can ever be


thinking is the land of the dead

awareness is not a product of thought

political carrectness

just someone else

wanting us to conform

we must conform to various religions

who say we will go to a hell if we don't conform

we must conform to thousands of rules and regulations

or we will be punished

we must go to school or we will be punished


this place is very depressing to me

and feeling depressed isn't much fun


so where do we go from here

without expectation of others to conform to our will


i don't know

but our future is a train wreak

if there are no other options


i do know there are always other options

if we are willing to face the truth of who and what we are


the unknown is always available

if we aren't too addicted to the known

and face the truth of who and what we are

before we become to hysterical

expectations

expectation will probably lead to our downfall

or even further than we have fallen

cause disappointment is never far behind

and we no longer deal with that situation very calmly


life is only free when not expected to preform

and submit to our will