going over the cliff

consider that a better option

than the two big dogs making a deal

for the carcass which is us


when two dogs are fighting over a bone

don't seem to think the bone is pulling for either dog


if either dog wins

the bone looses


and currently

you and i are the bone

we the people


they milk us like dairy cows

and treat us like shit


what is a girl to do


do you think america treats people well

or most of the other people i have met


there have been very few


it is very hard to be brave

when one has been so afraid

has been my experience

the savage

the savage lives in every man

and every woman

as does the great kindness

they cannot exist without each other


another clue


pride and shame are two sides of the same nickel

to seek one and reject the other is to be lost


the brave man is still afraid

which is why he is brave


courage is a false god

as is wealth

and power

and most of the stuff we cherish in our time


many today seek knowledge

which doesn't actually exist

although so many claim to possess it


it is a really stupid word

awareness is not a product of thought

all this crap we see in our time

is a product of thought


we have lost sight of the essence of life

and each other

and our selves

it seems to me


recognizing the loss

is the first step to regaining what we have lost


life is an affirmation

and without loss

no matter how hard we try to lose

comic books

once a long time ago i liked comic books

until i realized how dangerous and misleading they were


and now we have a video game world


even war is fought from a console


there was a time we bled

and knew what war was

and how terrible and cruel war was


that was a bloody time for me

and a long long time ago

before i came to be in this skin

moments in time

what we seem to be

if your me

a poem for christmas

praises sing and night bells ring

all around this precious thing

places and faces and midnight races

all the while the nomad braces

more and more the onslaught rages

in the wind all ripped out pages

find me now  -  oh lord of love

we seek and pray thy long lost dove

will peace upon the land yet stand

must heart still face the burning brand

on and on the rage does rush

the bonds of shame a mighty crush

still the flame  -  it has not died

tho bled and fed on brutal pride

so far we hold the beach head slightly 

no longer bold and brave and mighty

battered troops once fresh and rested

now reel and waver  -  nearly bested

the hope that once so filled the heart

still lives  -  yet in the smallest part

tho battered  -  scarred and mortal weary

at dawn we stand to face the fury

no longer brave we could be called

but no  -  by god we shall not fall

to twisted minds that rule this land

with whip and chain in brutal hand

we will not yield the sacred trust

nor feed upon the moldy crust

which the beast does offer gladly

all inflamed and grinning madly

tho tattered rag  -  thy flag once proud

and bleeding feet  -  tho head un-bowed

we face the dawn with shining faces
of doubt and fear there are no traces

for in thy time each heart does know

as life moves on its sacred flow

the soul of man will seek thy light

and move beyond this endless night

the whisper that i dimly hear

does speak that time may yet be near

oh yes  -  the force does feel some stronger

the soul cries out  -  not too much longer

the love long sought by this small band

does in truth feel near at hand

the stirring in the heart grows stronger

raging pain i feel no longer

the mission tho still unfulfilled 

will be complete as thou has willed

and light yet fill the hardest heart

thy love shall reach the darkest part

in time the sorrows past will fade

and truth regain this world you made

for as the story does unfold

eternal love each heart will hold 

i wish you and yours well

merry christmas 

peace and harmony to all beings

that includes the creatures of the field

capitalism

another form of slavery


am no fan of that crap


or the popular religions of our time


slavery is a crime against life

the oklahoma gazette

i worked there for a while


that was a while back

life as a man

life has been a brave man

and a cowardly man

and so very much in between


life has been a brave woman

and a cowardly woman

and so very much in between


life has been a brave child

and a cowardly child

and so very much in between


and all that is what we are

and so much more


so it seems to me

the naked woman

that is against the law in our time


once it was a celebration


but that was a long time ago


i never quite forgot

we are all indestructible

and at the same time so fragile


most of us find our preferences

and develop our prejudices

and hell starts all over again for us

letting go of that which is past

is the only way to truly live


throwing the past away is not the same


the present must be embraced in it's own time

and released as it's time passes

as each day does

and we all do in our own time

rejection

the greatest curse of all

surrender is a curse word in our time

not so much to me

if we cannot surrender to our selves

we will never get to be who we are

my job

my job is not to encourage people to get what they want

my job is to encourage people to be as they are

as they were born to be

as life made them

and what we all want

has got nothing to do with where we are

or who we are

and will just make us crazy

if we make wanting the goal of the game


being

now that is a real word

to escape the training and programing

to escape that crap

and retain our essence

seems the only valid reason for our existence


not sure how to survive being dumber than dirt


being just a little man

who is not sure what to do


not sure why i wanted to be sure


seems kind of silly to me now


no longer feel like sure even exists


security is a false god


freedom knows nothing of security

which can only restrict it's own freedom

killing

so many are willing to kill

or have someone do it for them


not such a good sign

it seems to me


but i don't claim to know what is best for us

or what we should do


my best guess would be

be who you are

and let life work all this stuff out


and if you can't be who you are

be where you are

we have to start somewhere

if we are still capable of being


being has nothing to do with thinking

which is just attempted escape from what is

answers

i have no answers

i have only questions


life is the answer


and without us

life is nothing


and is we take ourselves seriously

all is lost


all is what we are

deep water

what i sometimes call my wife


i am called shallow water


and sometimes little voice


to speak of truth is a great crime in our time


we have been trained to support the great crime

and am no fan of training

which is a crime against life

and the freedom of all

Noam Chomsky

consider him a friend

although we have never met


sent him an email once


and he responded

when no one else did

strangers in the night

a song i heard a long time ago


which still has meaning for me


and still don't know what all this means

file://localhost/Users/lewishayes/Pictures/iPhoto%20Library/Originals/2003/10/DSCN0078.JPG


am not sure what i have just done

which is the story of my life

a naked woman

probably the only picture worth taking

america

america keeps telling me i get a vote


life keeps telling me that i don't


i can be myself

or i can pass

and find what passing leads to

a cowardly little bastard

what so few of us will admit to any more


but what we are so qualified to be


and all this wasn't actually our fault


but we were born here

would fight to the death

for a girls right to be who she is


am pretty sure that is true


and i am not a brave person


actually i am a natural born coward

and really devoted to self preservation

which is why i am so small

courage

a little mans god


life does not require courage


life requires willingness

to be who and what we are

as life made us


everyone wants a vote


it don't seem to me

that life works like that


i can be myself as life made me

or i can be a lie

to please a bunch of people

who don't really like me all that much

today is my birthday again

68 years later

and the only point of the game

is still to face my self

my life

my life is an emergency


which i have never quite understood

a vote

life don't give me a vote

and i no longer seek a vote

cause we don't get to vote

we just get to be


and so far i am willing

smoking and drinking

have always liked smoking and drinking


i cut back on that stuff


i still sometimes wonder why

the little drummer boy

i get to be that again

but it is my birthday

war

nobody wins a war

has been my experience

life

life is a universal experience

if one is completely open to life


most of us accept some expressions of life

and reject other expressions of life

we accept some parts of our self

and reject other parts or our self

depending on our conditioning


which is less than a universal experience


and the suffering and the killing goes on

don't get personal

that is about all i have heard since i have been here


and getting personal

is all i ever dreamed of


and dreams are the great escape

and to escape life

would be the greatest curse of all

war

as long as we are willing to do that crap

there will be no peace


mostly the people that start wars

don't fight them

me and you do


and we don't have to do that

naked woman

the only hope we have

and hope is of no value at all

oklahoma city

is like london tonight

being with the body

what it means to be human

or any other thing

pearl harbor

12-7-41

my father was there that day


i was not here yet


am no fan of war

some part of me remembers

am going to sell this house in a while

have bought another one

fear

if you can't tell me what  you are afraid of

you will never be able to live


to run from our fears

and to give them power over us

is to abandon our lives

i am called little courage

by those that know me

and a few who don't