a fairy tale

this is a fairy tail

i found in myself

a long time ago


once there was a beautiful princess

who went for a walk in the woods

one day


it was a very pretty day

and she felt like stretching her legs

and feeling free


much later that day

a handsome prince rode by


he heard cries for help

out there in the woods somewhere

and decided to see if he could help


soon he came to a clearing in the forest

in the center of the clearing

was this beautiful princess

up a tree


a large dog was barking

at the base of the tree


and she cried out

oh my handsome prince

please save me


the prince rode over to the tree

and looked at the dog

and up at the princess in the tree


after a moment he said

tell the dog to go away

and he rode off

our friend all that is

what i call god

the unity of all life

want

the greatest of all curse words


want and not want are the same

both are rejections of our situation

which will never solve our problem

and only make the problem worse


as anyone who watches the news could see

if we were into seeing

and not just hoping and wishing and blame

this life experience

in this life experience

a few have been with me

more than a few sought to drain me

which i sometimes permitted

most didn't notice me at all

wanted

to be wanted by an other

means you are not seen and accepted


to be wanted by an other

means you have been rejected


this only occurs

with those rejecting their self

and experiencing the great emptiness


which is a self inflicted delusion


usually learned from an other

but not always

true religion

true religion

does not teach the children to hide

in shame and fearfulness

and then show them a way to live

and the price they must pay


there is no price for life


and those that say there is

no nothing of life


and so many in our time

seek to pay for the gift

which is just a cruel joke

and in no way funny


there was a time i was mad

about this stupid game we play

but being mad about life

ain't no way to live


the gift if forever free

and to seek what can never be lost

is no where to go

dying

the only way to learn about dying

is to take the life of an other


not a very interesting experience

but very popular in the current time


time ain't really real either

some clown made that stuff up

now so many sell their time

and get so little stuff in return


life manifests all the stuff we see

and touch and taste and want

or don't want


life is the source of all stuff

and yet can never be stuff


the scientist studies stuff

but the greatest microscope or telescope

can only see stuff


and life goes on being


all questions are trick questions

and the game of idiots

the hopelessly unaware


and life goes on being life

unseen but all that is

fear

fear is not a natural state


it has been brought into being

by centuries of teaching children

to be ignorant


the free man

can not be taught


those that experience life

can't be taught about lack and dying


those that have faced life

have no concept of being saved


we don't have to be so miserable and afraid

life is free


all that stuff we can buy and pay for

is just stuff


and the stuff we steal or cheat for

even more dangerious stuff

clothing

there was a time

humans wore clothing

to protect the body

from the cold

or harsh plant life

they were passing through

or the sun

in a harsh dry climate


most modern people wear clothes

because they are ashamed

of what they are

and seek to hide

and create a false impression


religions are mostly responsible

for that situation

at least in the beginning of that phase


now appearance is the new god

and business is very profitable

sell illusions to hide behind

or actually within


clothes are now required by law

and the free being

pretty much a thing of the past


i have known very few


have been a very fortunate man

death

death is just an illusion


those that believe in death

get trapped in their own delusions


the body is only the clothes we wear

to take away an others clothes

is the only way to lose your clothes


the human race in our time

is mostly just making stuff up

and selling stuff for a profit


and the little planet we call home

has become a real hell hole

all

all can only mean all


exclusive is a private word

and isolated by choice


some learn about life

by being life


some learn about life

by avoiding life


some by what they are

some by what they wish to be


which is only affirming a lack

which is an artificial creation

and not natural

feelings

those that hide their feelings

only get credit for a lie


truth is our only salvation


and the modern world

is mostly based on many lies

which is just a cheap imation

of life

and of no value at all


all is the clue

losers

the only losers in life

are those trying to win


the winners are just taking part

and being who they are

winning

only those that can lose

with grace and dignity

can ever win


it's a pisces thing

which is about grace


that dignity thing

is a real loser

children

to understand the children

we must face

the child within us all


which has rarely been permitted

in our life times


the assault

has arrived sooner

almost every year

Malcolm Berko

just read todays column

he continues to be one of my heroes

facing me

only exists

with those facing their self

the life we live

we have allowed

the teachers and the preachers

and government propaganda

tell us how to live


and look at what we wound up with


perhaps we are looking for life

in all the wrong places

instead of being the life we are


what we think we are

and what we think we want

only misleads us

the life we choose

the life we choose

is the petty little life we get to live


only those that don't choose

receive the gift


wanting this or that from life

is selective living


life is a gift to all

the selfish ones came up with prices


life is far more than a shopping center

and forever free

using

most humans today

seem to think and believe

that life is for them to use and exploit


seems pretty backward thinking to me


using is bad enough

but exploiting is down right nasty and cruel


we humans have become a pretty ignorant lot

and not so pretty anymore


life without respect

is life without love

and no life at all


thinking is a form of escapism

and apparently the lord of our time

ideas

all our ideas are just

bubbles blown in the ocean


life is the ocean


all bubbles do

is rise to the next surface

and cease to be


again to be all

mathmatics

mathmatics is a delusion

0 is the only true number

liking

liking is only really fun

when one has no interest in disliking

which is still very popular

for so many of us


i still fail at my own game

so very often

punishment

just another way

to gratify our self

at the expense of others


who happen to be

just more of our self

condemnation

if i were to condemn others

for their failures

in what we call life


i would have to condemn

almost everyone

including my self


i see no value in punishment

although i have seen myself

inflict it on some one i liked


didn't care much for how that felt


there are other options

available to us


if we have any interest

in peace and harmony


instead of all that other stuff

which has been so popular

for so long


the history of us human types

mostly ain't all that pretty


which is the nicest way i can speak

of our history


the exceptions have been few

and pretty far in between


and yet we are still the potential

to be other than how we have been

acting

a preformance

designed to elicit

a specific emotional response

in an other


a form of manipulation

of an other


which is so popular in our time


and a symption of

the great emptiness of our lives

in what we like to call

modern times

homosexuality

a semi-popular activity

in our time


which i am often being encouraged

to accept as just another

natural way of being


but still just an unnatural act to me


and in all fairness

the hetrosexual community

is also very fond of unnatural acts


and both are fond of unnatural acts

even in areas not considered sexual


there are those that might consider

my position to be judgmental

but judgmental implies punishment

which does not interest me


that was just an observation


every act is its own punishment


act is the clue

money

once we become attached

and dependent on money

it becomes a sickness and disease


attatched and dependent

always leads to sickness and disease


and violence and war


we humans are walking

a dead end path


mostly because we were mislead

and not allowed to find our own way


and now we mislead our selves


there are other options

if we are willing to give up all our beliefs

and hopes and wishes and dreams


and be open to life


the life within ourselves

and what we call outside ourselves

is the same life

which we have fragmentated

in our so called minds


and we have become dangerious

to our self

and all our selves

pride and shame

the greater the potential for pride

the greater the potential for shame

they are opposites

and the same


our ideas of love

lead us to hate


true love is not an idea

true love is being

and open to all

without prejudice

without  separation


life is whole

our isolating ideas

make us separate

and incomplete


which can only lead to want

and our eventual destruction

at the hands of our greed

life can be complicated

there have been instances

where the victim

was actually controlling

the crime scene

and preying on

the rescue workers

people and machines

more and more

business is using machines

to replace people


we people can help

put people back to work

by not using machines

and go back to

dealing with people

civilized

so many wishing to appear civilized

so few aware of

what that word means


civilized means

restricted and under control

to me


am not a big fan of that word

or whatever it is supposed to mean


seems to be an artificial word to me

and of no value to me


never cared much for artificial flowers

responsibility

still not quite sure what that word means


but what still amazes me

is how often modern humans

are willing to accept responsibility

when they aren't responsible


and how rarely they are willing

to accept responsibility

when they are

what happened

what happened

is not what matters to us

all that really matters to us

is how we responded

to what happened

zero

0

the only complete number

J. Krishnamurti

read a lot of his stuff when i was younger

what he said was remarkable to me

the story of his life even more remarkable


just found a copy of

Education & the Significance of Life

which i don't remember reading

just finished the 1st page

and was impressed


just finished chapter 1

this may be the most remarkable book i ever read

it was published in 1951

not sure how i missed it

probable wasn't time

getting past where you are

the only way to get past where you are

is to face where you are

and perhaps notice your self

if your lucky


trying to get anywhere

will only get you no where

but one little bitty place

if your unlucky

blame

we use blame

to justify our failures

and avoid responsibility

for our self

and reject our souverinity


rejection is knot

the way of life


no one wins that game

we all lose


life far more

than our petty little game

which we seem to cherish

more than life


don't see much of a fun future

in such a path


to choose any path

is the blind ones gamble

just another guess


knowing only exists in being

facing me

the only way to face me

is to face your self


if you can't face your self

you will never be

able to face me


i don't tell life what to do

or what to be


we all choose for our self

until we don't


choosing is an escape tactic

just another attempt

to avoid life

and get what you want


in the old days

most were weened

by the second or third year

some even earlier


dependencey is a crippiling disease

after the age of four or five


some become dependent

on anthers trickery

some on their own


neither will last forever

then what do we do with the blame

which always been our justification

for our failures


another escape tactic

and their ain't no escape from life

except in our imaginations

which ain't really real


and a great emptiness

is upon the land

so full of chaos and pain

over thinking things

the most difficult problem

for me to let go of


think happy thoughts  - feel happy

think sad thoughts  -  feel sad

think angry thoughts  -  get mad


always chasing or running from

our stupid little ideas


constantly over stimulating

and misleading ourselves

with our silly little games


what i call mental masterbation


awareness is not a product of thought


life cannot be figured out

life can only be acknowledged

or ignored


the process starts with our self

all i can say

all i can say about my response to this life

is a line i heard in an old movie

it seemed like the thing to do at the time

a way of life

many humans have learned

to stand up for

their way of life


perhaps in time

to stand up for life

greed

a major affliction

of the human race

for a long time


and a curse on the human race

on our little world

and our fellow creatures


a symptom of

a serious emotional disorder


human emotions are

mostly manipulated in our time

and for a long time


this affliction is trashing our lives

before we even get to live them


we could examine what we are doing

but so few notice their self


all the wants are outside

when what really matters

what we are inside


our self


we have let our selfishness

leads us astray


and being a stray

is being a stray

wild animals

what most people call

the untrained creatures of the field


i call them free

cheaters

cheaters never win

they just get to face their failures


winners don't win either

failure must always be faced


winning and losing

is not what life is about


life is about being


and cheating a foolish dream

as is winning

up and down

if the universe only went up

and never went down

there would be a great imbalance

in the universe

and therefore in life for us


good luck to all these control freaks

that have so often stalked the land


after all this time

none have pulled that off

for more than a little while

more about winning and losing

there are those out there

who seem to think

life is about winning and losing


that don't happen to be true

life ain't a game


the only security i experience

is that i can't win or lose

neither option appeals to me


maybe i am just selfish

but to me i seem to be stuck with


i don't care who wins or loses

i just want to take part

i just choose to play


have no interest in manipulating the game

am interested in how the game works out

or turns out

or whatever is next


some of those that watched over me as a child

thought i might be retarded

others thought i was just slow to catch on

which was true

fighting

fighting will not solve our problems

which our long bloody history

has proven so many times


all these precious divisions

we seem to cherish so

will in time destroy us all


i like this little planet

and being human

most of the time


that took a little practice

and a lot of letting go

being mad

anger is just an expression

of self pity

which has no redeaming value


and in our overpopulated world

our anger/self pity has the potential

to destroy our little planet

for no valid reason at all


we are all different

and all the same

as life made us all

the girl

all i would ever wish

for the girl

if i didn't know better


would be that she

just gets to be

her self

trying to win

the only reason

i am still here

is because

i am not trying

to win


if i had been

trying to win

i would have lost

and been flushed

a long time ago


i am just being here

as is can

because this is where i am

security

the desire for security

is how we cultivate insecurity

in our self

rejection

have experienced rejection in this life

mostly for all the wrong reasons


it mostly wasn't for what i was doing

it usually was because

i wouldn't do what some one wanted me to

modern people and jets

most modern people

have become like jets

most of the noise

comes from behind them


those i grew up around

called it talking out their ass

or being full of crap


that generation is mostly gone now

and the world's not a better place

wandering the hallways

wandering the hallways of life

and the hallways of my mind


sometimes i have gotten them confused

fighting

how do we stop the fighting

perhaps to recognize

we are only fighting our self

and projecting that situation

on those around us

and ignoring

those around us

who we are punishing

as we punish our self

being

not an active state

a passive state


just being with self

only observing


not all that popular

in this time of great escape

in the land of great distractions


the truth of our self

is all we ever have


our self

is often confused

with our situation

with our self

escape words

them and those are escape word

as is that as i mentioned


humans seem to be attracted to exclusiveness

which leads to narrow mindedness

and other selfish stuff


life is all that is

and cheating is not an option

yet so many wish to try that stuff


life is forever free

and we are free to try

hiding

a girl tried to hide behind me one

maybe more than once

i haven't always been paying attention


that didn't work out so well at first

all i did was encourage her to face her self

and face the day


then she could try facing me


have never been very good a lying to girls

i tried that once

and very quickly gave that once


that is an escape word

and there ain't no escape from life

life

my friend

i know you are there for me

even if i didn't ask

and would never interfere

boundless

life is actually boundless

but has to have limitations

to be what we call tangible

cure

if you want to find a cure for malaria

go get malaria


but if you are afraid of malaria

it will make you sick


fear is the clue

and there ain't no way to cheat

money and capitalism

what i often call

legalized slave labor


convincing the slaves

that they were free

was a pretty cute trick


now we have to sell our labor

to feed our self and our family

it we have one

which is a form of prostitution

which is also supposed to be

against the law

truthfullness

there is little truthfulness

to be found

in a well planned

presentation


all thought out

and well planned out

always means a lie


truth can never be

a fake

or a trick

or any of the stilly stuff

we humans

have become so fond of

forgiveness

most in our time

go to a church

of some kind

to ask for forgiveness


forgiveness

is of no value

if you cannot

forgive your self


to be forgiven

in a church

means to have

the apology accepted


to apologize for

our self

means we are

ashamed of our self


which don't seem to me

a very comfortable

place to be


the people

of this world

have not been

very welcoming

if so many children

feel that way

personal self

most people in our time

have a public self image

and a private self image


all outsiders

only get to meet

one or the other

what we do

am not very interested

in what we do


mostly it just bores me

if not pissing me off


but am still fascinated

by what we are

hard

the hard

we do immediately


the impossible

takes a little longer


either heard or read that

somewhere


seemed about right to me


we can only be limited

if we choose to be limited


seemed pretty silly to me


now i remember what silly means

die

only dreams can die

life can only change


we humans like to

try to change


our self

our world


rejection

of our self

and our situation

probably won't

make us happy


not sure what

happy means


sounds kind of

artificial

to me


just another silly idea


have some knowing

of what silly means

all the right places

life only is real

when we are in

the right places


our places are

where we were

born to be


and none of us

gets to choose

who we are


but most of us

have learned

to try


trying has

nothing in common

with being

open to life

if we are not open to life

we are closed to life

what the ancients call damned

conflict

conflict seems to be

the way to be alive

for so many


and the children suffer


as the weapons grow

more powerful everyday


selfishness is a harsh mistress

and leads only to desolation


selfish giving is the worst

at best pretty tasty bait

lonely

the only way to be lonely

is to avoid you self

or maybe to never have noticed

you had one

and so many

profit

profit is a poor mans gain

from the start


a big pile of stuff

is never more than a big pile of stuff

at a very high price


and life is forever free

as we wander amoung

all these things


once we were people

not so much anymore

so many are only

the care actors they play


caring only makes life seem small

as does not caring

both are emotional devices

just another form of mental masterbation

apparently to convince our self

and others of our choosing

that we have feelings

liking

if you can't truly like you self

you will never be able to truly like me

or any of lifes creation


the same is true of love

what ever that word means to you


some people love getting stuff

some people love giving stuff

some people just love

sex

if your looking for sex from me

that won't work

sex only works when we share

which starts with our self


denial is a dead end street

as is rejection

which is the same


we so try hard to live

and life is all there is

and free


growing up in a capitalist world

has made us short sighted

and narrow minded


and the religions haven't help

we just become more narrow minded

and short sighted


eyes are for seeing

ears are for hearing

but of no use

if we won't listen or see


being is a passive state of being

and cannot be bought

our attitude

our attitude toward life

will be what ever we choose to choose

as long as we choose to choose


for most their life has become

what they have chosen

or what they refused to choose


and the tears fall like rain

the world is in pain

how long will is be

till we see

that life is only free

when accepted

doing

most today don't seem to realize

we become what we are doing

on both sides of what we are


which has led to all this abuse


most like to blame

their imaginary friends

their devil and their god


what if life is all we see

and all we don't see


all we feel

and all we don't feel


picking and choosing

don't seem a valid option to me

blogging

notes that i write to my self

in the past i threw them away

after a while


not sure what happens to this stuff


deleted the first couple our so years

don't know what happened to them either


we are only here for a while

i wouldn't want to miss anything

which seems so easy to do


we humans don't seem to be

very good at this game we call life

our creations are just stuff

which we destroy life to create

which seems pretty silly to me

which i call what we seem to be doing

when i feel like being nice

trying to avoid life

is just another way to be

which leads to great emptiness

which is just another way to find life

which is all that is and is not


we all have our own nature

which is our only guide

which we can accept or reject

as we choose

if we choose to choose

which is not required by life

but so often encouraged

in our present time

challenges of life

one of the greatest challenges of life

on this plane of existence

can be and so often is lately

learning not to resist life


there is no real need for challenges

but we humans seem so facinated with them


we seem to want to prove something

which makes no sense to me


life is generally pretty obvious

if we aren't seeking to avoid life

what to do

my advice would be

find something constructive to do

which might provide the opportunity

to learn something about your self


or maybe wait and see

until you learn to see


or maybe just be your self

challenges

life on this plane

seems to be a series of challenges


how we respond to these challenges

seems to determine what comes next


or maybe just influence

openness to all

is not possible

without openness to self

and we humans

seem to have become

very selective

which can only lead

to limitations


life can be very complex

selective choosing

can be a very dangerious game

being with our self

can be the greatest challenge we face


and all escapes are delusional


if we can't face our self

we will never be able to face

all our other selves

leaders

true leaders

lead by the life they live

and rarely give orders

if ever

surrender

why fight

if anyone loses

we all lose

wanting

as soon as we want something

what we want becomes very important

and everything else

becomes very unimportant


we humans have become very accomplished

at achieving imbalance within our self

profit

the greatest profit

seems to me to be

to not be a slave of profit


every gain is a loss

every loss a gain


and there ain't no way to cheat


but the cheating game

seems to be so popular

in our time


yeah       i'm here too


get as much as you can

give a little as you can


that cursed little flag

flown by so many

in our time


can see no validity

in gourging our self on nothing

the sword and the shield

the garb of the warrior


the sword was pretty easily thrown away

after all that nastiness


the shield took a little longer

rejection again

to reject any man

is to reject all men


to reject any creature

(as we like to call so much of lifes creation)

is to reject all creatures


and on the story goes


my life is your life

and what i call your life

is the rest of me


unless i want or reject your life

which seems to be a human creation

and very popular in our time


life is life

even the ground we walk on

and rejection

just a torment we have created for our self


which seems to be self abuse to me


life gets very confusing to me

when i think too much

which seems to be my nature


good night my friend

whoever you are


just another reflection

of who i am

life

life is forever free


but so many of we humans

have sought to make

life our own


pretty arrogant


and more than a little selfish

embrace

to embrace

is not the same

as to grasp


one is to accept

one is to take


the gift cannot be taken

escape

those that seek escape

will always find

that no matter where they go

their self is all ways there

one thing i have learned

the one thing i can't do

is go back to where i was


life is forever

and only where i am


where life once was

is a game historians seem to like to play


life is far more than a game


and losing is not an option

traditions

am not a big fan of traditions

which seems to be

trying to be again

what we once were


seems to me to be

just a way to reject

what we are today

facing the truth of our self

facing the truth of our self

can be difficult

when we have been told

so many lies


and so much more difficult

when we decided to

carry on the tradition

facing a girl

once i faced a girl

who had not yet

faced her self


that situation

was a bit awkward

for a while


that actually happened

more than once

pretty much

every time


i still adore girls

apparently for

my own reasons


also apparently

the girls no longer adore

being a girl


so my adoration

is no longer acceptable


a parent my be a clue


most parents seem to think

children need some sort of encouragement


i don't agree


it seems to me

the children need freedom

to be the children they are


so many tell us what not to be

so many tell us what to be

and the children seem to be lost

in all those ideas in our heads

doing something

the only way to do anything

is to not do any thing


some call that situation

letting life be what life is


others giving in to life


i never cared much

for not being me


did not seek to involve my self

with those that required such behaviour

being

being ones self

is not the same

as doing ones self


doing is very popular

in our time

being      not so much


doing is an active state

being is a passive state

with ones self


some call that surrender


i prefer yielding to truth and existence


words ain't very good for expressing life


being is         whatever being is

the hawk

if one can be with the hawk

one can see through his eyes


an old indian proverb i just made up

green

the planet earth

seems to like

covering its self in green leafy stuff


we humans have become a real problem child

what we're doing

if we new what we were doing

most of us would probably not be

doing what we're doing


we would be far too frightened


awareness is not a product of thought

but thought is the most popular game in town

being with all those fantastic ideas


i call that crap mental masterbation

which i am very familiar with


not as fascinated with thinking as i once was


as i child i read a lot of story books

beautiful joe was the first

about a dogs life


next was black beauty


i could get lost for a while in the stories

which was more fun than most of the rest of my life


but life is not a dream world

thing

no thing lasts forever

only the essence


mostly in our time

we only see things


training the thing

is a very dangerious game


the results are what we see

security alert

there ain't no security here

and there never has been


deal with it

or not

as you can


that's all i know to do

the brain thinker part of me

have spent a lot of time in this life

involved with the brain thinker part of me


read a lot as a kid

which stimulated my imagination


imagine nation

don't make it so


but with a little encouragement

and a few lies and made up stories

we sure can try


being is a passive state

which can be all things


the creator and the destroyer

are both the same


peace comes only to the willing

who do what actually needs to be done


and am no fan of new ideas

control

most modern day people

control their self a lot


and after all that time under control

they probably should i guess


am not a big fan of control

and consider control

a great crime against life

and ultimately against our self


and being out of control

is usually a problem for a while

for those that have never experienced freedom


the transition can be quite a shock


the control people have yet to face their self

freely and openly

so they cannot face anyone else

freely and openly

rejection

it is not necessarily rejection

to be other than what or where

we are with our self

power

the greatest curse of all

and very misleading


a moment of personal glory

and a life time of suffering

for so many

willingness

probably the greatest gift of all

and certainly the most powerful

for those that get into that power crap


will fullness is the most popular

game in town

in the present time


will fullness has a very limited range

and potentially very dangerious consequences

if you don't know what your doing

but think you do

what i would do

sometimes i know

what i think i would do


but usually

i have to wait and see

what i do


they are rarely the same

but sometimes are


i wasn't overly trained as a child

and experienced more freedom

than many well trained children

respectful

would probably be

more respectful

if i knew how


which actually i do


good night my friend

who ever you are

and the woman said

why do you adore me

i have not embraced you


and the man said

butt you

has held my hand


an earlier version was

but you have held my hand


which i have preferred

most of the time


butt not all

still seems to be an option


even in my 69th year

or maybe my 70th

which seems more accurate

can still be a little rowdy


under certain circumstances

in certain times


certain is not a real word


probably should be in bed asleep by now

but that ain't happened yet

dog

if you reject the dog

he will reject you

as you are rejecting him


fear is a hard way

to start a conversation


as fear is an expression

of rejection


dogs accept those that accept them

dogs reject those that reject them


dogs have not yet learned to cheat

as humans have

we

those of us

who are willing to be


doing is not very interesting to me

have seen the results of that crap

pretty much all around me

the girls that didn't get me

have known a couple of them

maybe three


some will probably consider

that a brag

some a complaint


which don't matter

much to me


i got to be there

here

was here once

maybe two or three


here i am again

in the same old place

rejection

a girl i know

has rejected me hundreds of times

we may be into four figures by now


i don't know

and i don't care


she is just so pretty

and so very real


she is actually beautiful

but don't want to give her the big head


that might make her cry

seeing

what you could see of me

will be different

on any given day


you see differently

on any given day


and i be differently

on any given day


not sure what given means

in the times we live in

is probably a loan


as is life

on this little planet

how it once was

and oron spoke to his son jacob about how it once was

about how the land once supported mankind and the creatures
of the field

in the beginning the cycles of manifestation were the greatest
power

the cycles of dispensation regulated all life on this plane

the fruits of nature came and went

each learned to work and live within the system

or it died

there was no way to cheat

the forms of life came forth and grew and evolved  -  ran their
natural course of existence

and died in their own time  -  as all things must

but the force or spirit of life once more cloaked it's self in the
material of this plane

to come forth again and again in its apparently endless
sequence of expressions of its self

each more refined and remarkable than the one before


this is how it once was

as the creative force wove the glorious fabric of life

a living cloak upon this once barren globe


at some point in time  -  i know not when

the idea arose in man that he could or should take charge to his
life

to make things better for himself

that he need not accept the cycles of dispensation as life
provided


that concludes page 1

and is probably all for tonight

will have to wait and see


at some point in time  -  i know not when

the idea arose in man that he could or should take
charge of his life

to make things better for himself

that he need not accept the cycles of dispensation
as life provided

and took away

perhaps he thought or desired not to die in his own time

or that his children or wife should not die

this is not known to me

all that is known is that mankind came to rebel
against the order of life

perhaps this is the natural next step for man

i do not know

in any case  -  man made many changes in this world

apparently to improve his situation  -  that he might
not have to strive and struggle and die

that life might be made easier  -  and last longer

how and why is lost in the passage of time

all that is known is that man became greedy and
welfish and feared for himself

once man took only what he needed to live and
there was balance in this world

but man then came to take more that he needed

and deprived others of his kind and the creatures
of the field what they needed to live out their
allotted span of time

the order of life was disrupted

soon the vast green cloak of the forests began
to disapear

slowly at first  -  but with ever and even
increasing speed

for a time nature could heal the wounds to
the body

but as man sought more and more not to die  -  with
his vaccinations and his cures  -  the population
grew and grew and began to overwhelm the natural
life support system of this plane

more and more the great canopy of the forest disappeared

the creatures of the field  -  who also make up the
fabric of life on this plane  -  began to disappear

the atmosphere and climate began to change

the concoctions of man to improve his lot in life
began to sterilize and poison the earth

whole species were destroyed to make man safer and
gourge his belly beyond any reasonable need

the signs of decay and corruption where clear

but man refused or was unable to see the error
of his ways

that he need not accept the cycles of dispensation
as life provided

the great crime being perpetuated on the fragile
beauty of the earth

and ultimately upon himself

man created new systems to support himself

and as each failed in time  -  sought to create another
and another

each failing more quickly than the last

it is not known if this journey man has taken is right
or wrong

perhaps we have failed at our destine

perhaps not

all that is known by me is that man suppers greatly
amid his own creations

has brought this suffering upon himself by not
accepting the gift of life as they are offered

and accepting their loss when they are reclaimed
by the order of things

the creatures of the field are born and die in
their own time  -  without complaint

i have seen it so

in our own time  -  we must make our own choices


these word were with me

a while back

in the mid 80's

as near as i can recall


they still seem valid to me
                                 

courage

a blind mans fantasy


and bravery

a boyhood dream


and no longer

of any interest to me


but am still willing

to take part


which all

i can ever be


at best

rules

rules and rulers

make life petty and small


a poor contribution '

to the sacred trust

understanding

in my early 30's

nothing about our little world

made any sense to me


i tried to understand

those around me

which got me even more confused and frustrated

i wasn't qualified to do that


i finally realized

understanding my self

was the only option for me


trying to understand myself

didn't help either


i finally realized

i had to face my self

to be open to myself


to accept my self

openly and freely

and quit trying


willingness is a passive state

and took a little practice


awareness is not a product of thought

or any type of effort

what you want

if what you want

is more important to you than me

i am of no value to you at all

explaining my self

many times i have attempted to do that


and all were just foolish gestures


and of no value at all


guess i found that entertaining


not so much anymore


that just got me used


which is always past tense


and life is all ways now

and i was become selective


picking and choosing

is no way to live


that just makes life less


not a very nice thing to do to our self

on thing i have learned

those that choose to use life

and abuse life

always end up loosing life


which seems pretty sad to me

and not a natural part of the game


have given up on wondering why


i tried that for a pretty long time

which got me no where


and was not comfortable in that position

and gave up the wondering search for truth

which was all around me

the game of life

so many in our time

see life as a game


which is just about

winning and loosing


the only problem with that is

life never wins or looses


which would indicate

seperation was possible


and we ain't ever going to win that game


seperation from life is not possible


such foolishness is not possible


but i have known those who have and are trying

one

some see us a two

and even more in our time


when in truth

is you happen to be me

which i do

there is only one


what i do to you

i do to my self


what i do to my self

i do to you


life is all about sharing

and there ain't no way to cheat


cheating life is the main game in our time

cause some think it's good business

which it is if your a banker or business man


but life ain't a business

and we humans sure ain't in control

as hard as we try to appear to be


we are all about to see

and are seeing already

and have seen

what human control leads to


what we call life

is more than a word

or any other thing

sadness

so many in our time

seek to blame their sadness

on others


and their anger

and a lot of other not very nice stuff


blame is how we through our truth away


our willingness to accept responsibility

for our self

and our chosen conduct


there is a terrible price

for self rejection


and a worse one

for getting someone to accept it

the responsibility for our self


pretty arrogant egosistical stuff to me


i ain't no where near that brave


and have a pretty substance able ego my self

which is just little old me


seem to be learning how to stand up and sit down at the same time

winning and loosing

as soon as you win

you subject some one to loosing

which becomes your destiny


creativity can be a dangerious game

which i don't recommend for humans


that crap never even occurred

to the creatures of the field

the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees


love has been a popular word

for a long time

as has freedom


in my time here

that has just been propaganda noise


an attempt to mislead me


and i was already doing so well on my own


so didn't need anyone to do that for me

taking a girl seriously

most girls i have known

take there self far too seriously

with very little true affection


and the guys

(your will notice i didn't say men)

are getting the hang of it


am not a fan of promising situations

that crap is far to business like for me

love

so many market that word

which has no meaning for most

except getting what they want

serving others

have heard that stuff so much

the politicians and the lawyers

the bankers and the judges

the teachers in school

most of my relatives

and so many more


i am guilty of such behavior

i be nice when it pleases me


saw a twilight zone epesode once

about serving humans

it turned out to be a recipe book


guess the outcome depends on

who ever is in charge of dinner


and am pretty sure

we little human types

ain't in charge of that situation


and now we get to take the ride

that we have built

and it ain't even real

the wedding proposal

proposal was the clue


that getting on one knee stuff

was a girl fantasy


no man ever came up with that

but so many give in to that crap


and there is that stuff

about making marriage a legal contract

with both the government and god


good greef


am pretty sure greef or grief

or however it's spelled

is the clue


who the hell would wish for that


the word that

always represents

what i am certainly not


which ain't an option in this universe

friends

a stupid little word

which usually means

someone who kisses my ass

or i am kissing theirs


not a very intersting game

but very popular in our time

hey

hey boys and girls

if you reject your self

you are rejecting me

and all my friends


and all of your friends

organization

some people seem to think

they are qualified to organize life

they organize their self

and seek to organize others

and the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees


our little world

is in a pathetic state

and violence and dis-order are upon the land


the natural order is no longer respected

or even recognized


we don't see

what we are rejecting

which is our self

punishment

obviously an expression of self pity


often of frustrated greed


i find this worth looking into

and probably will

selfish

for a while i wondered

why people were selfish


i understood about getting what you want

i have felt that way


but so many are willing to lie

about who they are


and not because they want to cheat me

but because of their eagerness

to deny their self

and create a cover story


to completely deny who you are

with no desire to ever face the truth of ones self

is a crime against life

and against us all

the birds and the bees and the flower and the trees


and the greatest self imposed  punishment of all


that is probably a clue


punishment


the desire for punishment

is obviously an expression of self pity

hey girl

you made one mistake


you reminded me of you

which i ain't likely to forget

me

i don't know why

life seems to like me


i just seem to stagger around

trying to like me

the past

the true past

can be rejected

or affirmed


the true past

can never be changed


which is the gift

to us wandering humans

who wander among the rubble

of what once was


and truth

is the only hope we have


hope is a really small word

the sounds of the interstate

can hear the sounds of the interstate

a few blocks north of where i live

i grew up to the sound of railroad tracks

somewhere close to where we lived


i grew up in a house trailer

which didn't stay in one place

all the time

fun

my favorite motivation

fun that causes others distress

ain't real fun


fun ain't really fun

if you can't share it openly

and without regret