a willingness to share an experience
with those we are a part of
without prejudice or the desire for personal gain
which are just selfish greedy goals
which lead only to isolation and great anguish
we are a product of all that is
which is what we actually are
for better or for worse
as we choose
until we grow up and give up choosing
which always leads to limitation
exclusiveness is a lonely place to be
and most certainly not natural
Saturday, November 30, 2013
i spoke to a girl this evening
she thought the outside forces were putting pressure on her
actually it was her response to the outside forces
that was putting the pressure on her
she was the source of her discomfort
and therefore the source of her peace
others actually have very little influence on us
unless we choose to blame them for our situation
and then we are really fucked
making love is something that appeals to me
fucking not so much anymore
actually it was her response to the outside forces
that was putting the pressure on her
she was the source of her discomfort
and therefore the source of her peace
others actually have very little influence on us
unless we choose to blame them for our situation
and then we are really fucked
making love is something that appeals to me
fucking not so much anymore
when i was younger
when i was younger
i believed that those that were the most able
were probably the oldest and the wisest
but as this life unfolded
they turned out to be the most innocent
which made no sense to me for a while
and then became the greatist joke of all
that we have played on our self
and the innocents were once again sacred to me
those that acquire knowledge
have forgotten how to be
and no longer see the wonder of life
which is beyond all knowing
life is not something you get
life is all that we are
and we are complete within our self
we are all lifes gift to life
and there ain't no not
thinking is the dumbest idea we ever had
and awareness is not a product of thought
i believed that those that were the most able
were probably the oldest and the wisest
but as this life unfolded
they turned out to be the most innocent
which made no sense to me for a while
and then became the greatist joke of all
that we have played on our self
and the innocents were once again sacred to me
those that acquire knowledge
have forgotten how to be
and no longer see the wonder of life
which is beyond all knowing
life is not something you get
life is all that we are
and we are complete within our self
we are all lifes gift to life
and there ain't no not
thinking is the dumbest idea we ever had
and awareness is not a product of thought
one thing i have learned
a prayer that does not include all of us
is not a real prayer at all
just a curse for a few
life is special to me
and life is all that is
being selective is the path to isolation
which is one reason i am no fan of religions
or politics
or big business
and a lot of other stuff we do
all is what we are
and i no longer seek a vote
am not qualified to choose what life should be
my only responsibility to my self is to be my self
as i can
peace and harmony to all beings
is not a real prayer at all
just a curse for a few
life is special to me
and life is all that is
being selective is the path to isolation
which is one reason i am no fan of religions
or politics
or big business
and a lot of other stuff we do
all is what we are
and i no longer seek a vote
am not qualified to choose what life should be
my only responsibility to my self is to be my self
as i can
peace and harmony to all beings
ideas
when i was younger
i had ideas of what i wanted to be
which was what i wished i was
it took a while for me to realize
that what i actually was
was the truest gift of all
that abstract stuff meant nothing to me in those times
but i no longer wish to be other that what life made me
is just gave up on what so many claim is important
so many claim we should make something of our self
for me our self is the truest gift of all
and all we will ever actually have
and all we can actually share
what we think we should be
is how we reject and abuse our self
i had ideas of what i wanted to be
which was what i wished i was
it took a while for me to realize
that what i actually was
was the truest gift of all
that abstract stuff meant nothing to me in those times
but i no longer wish to be other that what life made me
is just gave up on what so many claim is important
so many claim we should make something of our self
for me our self is the truest gift of all
and all we will ever actually have
and all we can actually share
what we think we should be
is how we reject and abuse our self
zorba the greek
watched that movie today
most of it
have pretty much always liked anthony quinn
the movie was kind of hard to watch sometimes
but did not turn it off
maybe a clue for us ignorant humans
and there are so many of us
i feel lucky sometimes to still wonder
and i cry more than i did when is was younger
and still believed in being strong
and trying to change things
which is what got us here
as i see it
most of it
have pretty much always liked anthony quinn
the movie was kind of hard to watch sometimes
but did not turn it off
maybe a clue for us ignorant humans
and there are so many of us
i feel lucky sometimes to still wonder
and i cry more than i did when is was younger
and still believed in being strong
and trying to change things
which is what got us here
as i see it
first
as long as there is a first
there will be a second
and then a third
and great division is now upon us
when once we were whole
zero seems to be the only real number to me
and most shy away from that situation in our time
no thing is what we are to me
yet this body of mine is still here
a form of isolation
sometimes not with a few girls
and a few others i call friend
to be my own friend took a little time
and all clocks are a lot slower than life
we would be better off without them
but the capitalist requires punctuality
or the machines will become confused and not work properly
we humans aren't machines
but mostly in our time we serve them
maintenance man was my title for a while
and a lot of other stuff for a while before then
some of them not so flattering
there will be a second
and then a third
and great division is now upon us
when once we were whole
zero seems to be the only real number to me
and most shy away from that situation in our time
no thing is what we are to me
yet this body of mine is still here
a form of isolation
sometimes not with a few girls
and a few others i call friend
to be my own friend took a little time
and all clocks are a lot slower than life
we would be better off without them
but the capitalist requires punctuality
or the machines will become confused and not work properly
we humans aren't machines
but mostly in our time we serve them
maintenance man was my title for a while
and a lot of other stuff for a while before then
some of them not so flattering
others
as soon as we came to believe in others
we were no longer whole
fractions and mathmatics are creations of the mouthy blind
science is the disease it claims to be the cure for
as is psychology
and religious beliefs
and capitalism
and consumerism (a creation of capitalism)
and logic
life sure as hell ain't logical
but at least it is orderly
and free to us all
and yet restricting life is so popular in our time
even required to get ahead
whatever that crap means
probably means get a head
and ignore the reality of all that actually is
if personal profit is the only goal
we are lost
personal may be the smallest word of all
and don't get personal is such a common requirement in our time
life is a pretty personal experience to me
and am so far a pretty small person
openness to all of my self has been not all that easy for me
but are willing as we can
on our better days
we were no longer whole
fractions and mathmatics are creations of the mouthy blind
science is the disease it claims to be the cure for
as is psychology
and religious beliefs
and capitalism
and consumerism (a creation of capitalism)
and logic
life sure as hell ain't logical
but at least it is orderly
and free to us all
and yet restricting life is so popular in our time
even required to get ahead
whatever that crap means
probably means get a head
and ignore the reality of all that actually is
if personal profit is the only goal
we are lost
personal may be the smallest word of all
and don't get personal is such a common requirement in our time
life is a pretty personal experience to me
and am so far a pretty small person
openness to all of my self has been not all that easy for me
but are willing as we can
on our better days
feet
our other hands
and not too respected in our time
mostly just abused and walked upon
shoes were probably one of our first mistakes
cold climates were our downfall
and our escape just led to no where to be
being is a real word to me
as is love
most other words are just crap we made up
and mostly just limit all in our now so small little minds
being is a very still word to me
and love a silent celebration
which is rarely made manifest in our time
and is also all that we really are
our great obsession with making life little
just makes no sense to me
even when i do such things myself
freedom is an interesting word
for those of us in our personal little prisons
and all th
i forgot what i was going to say
will maybe go to bed now
and not too respected in our time
mostly just abused and walked upon
shoes were probably one of our first mistakes
cold climates were our downfall
and our escape just led to no where to be
being is a real word to me
as is love
most other words are just crap we made up
and mostly just limit all in our now so small little minds
being is a very still word to me
and love a silent celebration
which is rarely made manifest in our time
and is also all that we really are
our great obsession with making life little
just makes no sense to me
even when i do such things myself
freedom is an interesting word
for those of us in our personal little prisons
and all th
i forgot what i was going to say
will maybe go to bed now
them
as soon as them becomes an accepted word
separation begins to be
and conflict and great suffering is upon the land
which is what i see today
all our fancy ideas are not making the world a better place
am not a fan of ideas
life can not be put in a bottle
life is all that is
and i can't imagine a bottle that great
and am not likely to seek one
one is an isolated place to be
and all must do it once
just used that it word again
separation begins to be
and conflict and great suffering is upon the land
which is what i see today
all our fancy ideas are not making the world a better place
am not a fan of ideas
life can not be put in a bottle
life is all that is
and i can't imagine a bottle that great
and am not likely to seek one
one is an isolated place to be
and all must do it once
just used that it word again
Friday, November 29, 2013
sex
the greatest obsession of all for most people
including me
but no one ever talks about sex
except a few stand up comics
people rarely face their obsessions
if they did they wouldn't be obsessions anymore
to face your life is to lose it
and it is a pretty stupid word
and not much of a loss
them
the same as it
but a little more personal
just and abstraction in our brain thinkers
to keep us separate
perhaps a desire for some sort of purity
pasteurized and sterilize
religions claim to be big on that crap
but all that does is isolate us into little compartments
and then we argue
and often fight
over our stupid little ideas of what we should be
and how we should act
if that works
god must really be a dumb shit
and whoever came up with the idea of god
was even dumber
projecting our personal ideas of good and bad
what we like to call right and wrong
on all that is
seems pretty arrogant to me
and not very nice
life does not shackle its many selves
such situations have been created by misguided humans
life is sacred
and forever free of all restraint
love for all can know no restraint
love for only those that agree
can know nothing but restraint
and the great frustration that goes with that crap
and great violence and shame is upon the land
and we and our fellow creatures suffer greatly
just because we can't just be who we are
and let all others be who they are
and just deal with ourselves
and those we call them
including me
but no one ever talks about sex
except a few stand up comics
people rarely face their obsessions
if they did they wouldn't be obsessions anymore
to face your life is to lose it
and it is a pretty stupid word
and not much of a loss
them
the same as it
but a little more personal
just and abstraction in our brain thinkers
to keep us separate
perhaps a desire for some sort of purity
pasteurized and sterilize
religions claim to be big on that crap
but all that does is isolate us into little compartments
and then we argue
and often fight
over our stupid little ideas of what we should be
and how we should act
if that works
god must really be a dumb shit
and whoever came up with the idea of god
was even dumber
projecting our personal ideas of good and bad
what we like to call right and wrong
on all that is
seems pretty arrogant to me
and not very nice
life does not shackle its many selves
such situations have been created by misguided humans
life is sacred
and forever free of all restraint
love for all can know no restraint
love for only those that agree
can know nothing but restraint
and the great frustration that goes with that crap
and great violence and shame is upon the land
and we and our fellow creatures suffer greatly
just because we can't just be who we are
and let all others be who they are
and just deal with ourselves
and those we call them
Thursday, November 28, 2013
my earth father lewis
the man who saved my life
by not telling me what to do
even when i wanted him to
i was named lewis jr.
but that's another story
by not telling me what to do
even when i wanted him to
i was named lewis jr.
but that's another story
hands
it sometimes appears to me that life is in the hands
and what we do with them
our ideas are mostly of little value
in spite of what the head people think
and what we do with them
our ideas are mostly of little value
in spite of what the head people think
work
my father introduced me to work
more than once
i didn't take much to that stuff
and don't to this day
after a time i understood why he worked
it was to feed his family
of which i was a part
i still don't always much care for work
but mostly i do when its time to work
more than once
i didn't take much to that stuff
and don't to this day
after a time i understood why he worked
it was to feed his family
of which i was a part
i still don't always much care for work
but mostly i do when its time to work
sleeping
some claimed to sleep like a baby
some claimed to sleep like a log
some found all this very confusing
those that had never slept at all
some claimed to sleep like a log
some found all this very confusing
those that had never slept at all
speaking of life
one cannot truthfully speak of life
without speaking from ones self
from ones individual and indivisible truth of our being
without speaking from ones self
from ones individual and indivisible truth of our being
power
a very overestimated word
and the downfall of so many
both the strong and the weak
only life is qualified to sort that stuff out
and the downfall of so many
both the strong and the weak
only life is qualified to sort that stuff out
comic books and lies
mostly what we have been raised on
so it seems
what is to become of us
remains to be seen
seems and seem are not the same
one is an idea
the other a wondering
so it seems
what is to become of us
remains to be seen
seems and seem are not the same
one is an idea
the other a wondering
rules and freedom
the rule of law
what so many seek to hide behind
and yet there is no freedom
behind the rule of law
most humans i have known
hide behind some rules they like
and break others they don't like so much
true freedom is without rules and laws
but out of control means danger to so many
without respect for life we are less than nothing
which is a pretty scary thought to me
here in this carnival i sometimes call my life
what so many seek to hide behind
and yet there is no freedom
behind the rule of law
most humans i have known
hide behind some rules they like
and break others they don't like so much
true freedom is without rules and laws
but out of control means danger to so many
without respect for life we are less than nothing
which is a pretty scary thought to me
here in this carnival i sometimes call my life
lost
lost is not an option
although so many try
often so very hard
and the trick question is
how can one find
what can never be lost
although so many try
often so very hard
and the trick question is
how can one find
what can never be lost
our tail
we all have a tale
the part of our past we drag around
probably for some sort of balance
but our tales are of little value
for life is forever now
the part of our past we drag around
probably for some sort of balance
but our tales are of little value
for life is forever now
getting to know me
there have been those that weren't so thrilled with that situation
i have been one of them from time to time
and i haven't forgotten those times
they are part of the balance for the rest of me
i have been one of them from time to time
and i haven't forgotten those times
they are part of the balance for the rest of me
reports
perhaps my greatest affliction
but that remains to be seen
there are those that found them boring
at best
it didn't realizing i was just having fun
which means i wasn't really being
i was preforming for my self
which seems mostly pretty silly to me now
but not always
these are troubling times
and my job is to make fun of us
when i'm not being sullen and depressed
but that remains to be seen
there are those that found them boring
at best
it didn't realizing i was just having fun
which means i wasn't really being
i was preforming for my self
which seems mostly pretty silly to me now
but not always
these are troubling times
and my job is to make fun of us
when i'm not being sullen and depressed
the beauty detox solution
a book a friend of mine showed me
he seemed to like the book
says on the front by kimberly snyder,c.n.
don't know what c.n. means
i liked the cover
he seemed to like the book
says on the front by kimberly snyder,c.n.
don't know what c.n. means
i liked the cover
awareness
awareness is not a product of thought
awareness is through a willingness to be
and letting all others be
life cannot be figured out
as so many claim to have done
life is without rules
we are forever free when we are willing to be
and allow all others the right to be
which often still seems kind of scary to me
security is a form of isolation
awareness is through a willingness to be
and letting all others be
life cannot be figured out
as so many claim to have done
life is without rules
we are forever free when we are willing to be
and allow all others the right to be
which often still seems kind of scary to me
security is a form of isolation
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
television
the greatest mind fuck of all
until video games and cell phones came along
and now we post and tweet
we have learned to mind fuck our selves
and life goes on as we sleep in our little shells
forever thinking and lost in our thoughts
which is kind of a dumb word
the scientists tells us the brain is the location of mind
but they are wrong
all ideas are figments of our imagination
life is far more than an idea some human had
and can certainly not be explained
some educated people and some religious people
and a few nondenominational people
which is what i call the freelance selfish people
tried to tell me how i should be
but that never really worked out for them
we all must find our own way
we cannot own life
life owns us is closer to the truth to me
and our attempts to escape life and our truth
would just be silliness if not so painful for us all
until video games and cell phones came along
and now we post and tweet
we have learned to mind fuck our selves
and life goes on as we sleep in our little shells
forever thinking and lost in our thoughts
which is kind of a dumb word
the scientists tells us the brain is the location of mind
but they are wrong
all ideas are figments of our imagination
life is far more than an idea some human had
and can certainly not be explained
some educated people and some religious people
and a few nondenominational people
which is what i call the freelance selfish people
tried to tell me how i should be
but that never really worked out for them
we all must find our own way
we cannot own life
life owns us is closer to the truth to me
and our attempts to escape life and our truth
would just be silliness if not so painful for us all
innocence
i have been in the presence of innocence
but not all that often in this life
those with goals and ambitions
have no concept of innocence
and such situations are so often cultivated by others in our time
the children are under assault from all sides
and almost never allowed to be their self
and discover the only true gift
for a time i thought some people we just mean to children
but in time came to realize they were just ignorant
and buried under a mountain of lies
we humans seem to like thinking we know
guess it makes some of us feel better
but it never worked for me
and i still often wonder
but mostly anymore i just be silly me
and be open to what ever is next
on my better days
but not all that often in this life
those with goals and ambitions
have no concept of innocence
and such situations are so often cultivated by others in our time
the children are under assault from all sides
and almost never allowed to be their self
and discover the only true gift
for a time i thought some people we just mean to children
but in time came to realize they were just ignorant
and buried under a mountain of lies
we humans seem to like thinking we know
guess it makes some of us feel better
but it never worked for me
and i still often wonder
but mostly anymore i just be silly me
and be open to what ever is next
on my better days
losing
losing only exists for those concerned with winning
which is just an illusion
a figment of our imagination
no one wins a war
only those that didn't take part in a war think that crap
once i was of the warriors a long long time ago
all of this life has not been lived in this skin
which is just an experience for a while
which is just an illusion
a figment of our imagination
no one wins a war
only those that didn't take part in a war think that crap
once i was of the warriors a long long time ago
all of this life has not been lived in this skin
which is just an experience for a while
forgiving
we have times for all kinds of stuff
have wondered why we don't have a time for forgiving
some religious people claim that they have
but mostly i just see grudges
and a desire for payback
grudges are kind of a carry over from the past
which just eats at us and causes us torment
usually until we cause the offender torment
not much peace in a world like that
have wondered why we don't have a time for forgiving
some religious people claim that they have
but mostly i just see grudges
and a desire for payback
grudges are kind of a carry over from the past
which just eats at us and causes us torment
usually until we cause the offender torment
not much peace in a world like that
being
a state of peace with our self
which so few experience in our time
but all ways here for us
if we are willing to be
who we are and where we are
and just be our self as we are
which so few experience in our time
but all ways here for us
if we are willing to be
who we are and where we are
and just be our self as we are
believing
something be decided to do
usually with encouragement from others
and just a form of self deception
to make us feel better and not so lost and confused
lost and confused is often where life begins
is we are willing to just be with our self
self is the quiet part of our being
and not part of all that stuff we see
and don't understand
knowing you don't know
can be the greatest gift of all
and the gateway to knowing
usually with encouragement from others
and just a form of self deception
to make us feel better and not so lost and confused
lost and confused is often where life begins
is we are willing to just be with our self
self is the quiet part of our being
and not part of all that stuff we see
and don't understand
knowing you don't know
can be the greatest gift of all
and the gateway to knowing
recognition
true recognition is a state of being
and not a product of conditioning and thought
which many consider recognition to be
true recognition is a state of being
as is seeing
and not a product of conditioning and thought
which many consider recognition to be
true recognition is a state of being
as is seeing
respect
true respect is a state of being
for many modern people
respect has become a form of ass kissing
to get what they want
want is a slave state
and an affliction i am familiar with
wishful thinking is a form of torment
for many modern people
respect has become a form of ass kissing
to get what they want
want is a slave state
and an affliction i am familiar with
wishful thinking is a form of torment
Monday, November 25, 2013
Sunday, November 24, 2013
woman
perhaps the most sacred word of all
and also so often used and abused
sometimes by males and the children
but in our time so often by their own attitude toward their self
and also so often used and abused
sometimes by males and the children
but in our time so often by their own attitude toward their self
Saturday, November 23, 2013
respect
a sacred word
yet so often used and abused in our time
without respect for life
we are much less than nothing
yet so often used and abused in our time
without respect for life
we are much less than nothing
what my father told me once
i was an early teenager and full of my self
(a phase that lasted decades}
one afternoon when he was home
which didn't happen very often
i popped off to my mother
no bad words but the tone was disrespectful
he said come here boy
and we went into the other room
where he said to me most respectfully
if you don't respect that woman because she is your mother
that's my wife and i don't want your talking to her that way
and i never used that tone again with my mother
this was not because i was afraid of my father
he just spoke to me man to man
and what he said was more than the words
(a phase that lasted decades}
one afternoon when he was home
which didn't happen very often
i popped off to my mother
no bad words but the tone was disrespectful
he said come here boy
and we went into the other room
where he said to me most respectfully
if you don't respect that woman because she is your mother
that's my wife and i don't want your talking to her that way
and i never used that tone again with my mother
this was not because i was afraid of my father
he just spoke to me man to man
and what he said was more than the words
winning and losing
my father told me once a long time ago
it's not whether you win or lose
it's how you play the game
one thing i learned from my father
never bullshit your self
it's not whether you win or lose
it's how you play the game
one thing i learned from my father
never bullshit your self
feelings again
all those feelings we hold back
just go into a saving account
account is the clue
accounts become obligations has been my experience
which only limit freedom
just go into a saving account
account is the clue
accounts become obligations has been my experience
which only limit freedom
the child
some people view a child as a blank piece of paper
and in some ways i agree
for me the child must be the first to write on this piece of paper
there are many in our time that would write on that piece of paper first
before the child can find it's own way
am not a big fan of most of what i see in our time
the human population is in constant conflict with its self
such is all around me
life does not have to be this way
we all still have to find our own way
a willingness to be what life actually made us to be could be a clue
perhaps not
we all have to find our own way
and no one can do that for us
we are apparently multiple in this world
and forever one
and in some ways i agree
for me the child must be the first to write on this piece of paper
there are many in our time that would write on that piece of paper first
before the child can find it's own way
am not a big fan of most of what i see in our time
the human population is in constant conflict with its self
such is all around me
life does not have to be this way
we all still have to find our own way
a willingness to be what life actually made us to be could be a clue
perhaps not
we all have to find our own way
and no one can do that for us
we are apparently multiple in this world
and forever one
taking charge
a popular phrase in our time
most girls are looking for a guy to take charge of things
and then they want to take charge of him
the guys have their version of this crap
you can walk among the poor and the lost and weak
you can walk among the rich and famous and powerful
the game is the same on the smallest and grandest scale
freedom has no place to be in such a world
this scale has no balance
most girls are looking for a guy to take charge of things
and then they want to take charge of him
the guys have their version of this crap
you can walk among the poor and the lost and weak
you can walk among the rich and famous and powerful
the game is the same on the smallest and grandest scale
freedom has no place to be in such a world
this scale has no balance
geronimo
don't know how to spell that
he was an apache indian guy
i don't think they really caught him
that was a white lie
which was acceptable in the family i grew up in
for a while a while back
am still growing up
and out and down
and all that other stuff
being is without change
and a source of great confusion in our time
that which is forever changing
can never change
guess that could be called sequential being
but i don't much care for technical stuff
i just like to play
he was an apache indian guy
i don't think they really caught him
that was a white lie
which was acceptable in the family i grew up in
for a while a while back
am still growing up
and out and down
and all that other stuff
being is without change
and a source of great confusion in our time
that which is forever changing
can never change
guess that could be called sequential being
but i don't much care for technical stuff
i just like to play
Friday, November 22, 2013
feelings
sometimes we respond to our feelings
sometimes we don't
that's how we sort our self out of this mess
such is what we are to me
sometimes we don't
that's how we sort our self out of this mess
such is what we are to me
the source
so many seek the answer
whatever that means
many seek the cause
and life is just because life is
if there is an answer
the answer is the source
and the source is within us all
including that pit bull in my neighbors yard
whatever that means
many seek the cause
and life is just because life is
if there is an answer
the answer is the source
and the source is within us all
including that pit bull in my neighbors yard
more about life
all that you see is your life
all that you don't see is your life
welcome to life
this is our life
all that you don't see is your life
welcome to life
this is our life
was and were
both retrospective words
and of the past
by the time you think about what you are doing
you have already done it
and it is past
being is not a product of thought
and the thinker cries where do we go from here
and i say i don't know
i just think to entertain myself when there is nothing on television
and of the past
by the time you think about what you are doing
you have already done it
and it is past
being is not a product of thought
and the thinker cries where do we go from here
and i say i don't know
i just think to entertain myself when there is nothing on television
false fronts
mostly what i have been confronted with in this life
accept for a few
modern people pretty much all project a false front
all the lies has taken a terrible toll on the human population
and the creatures of the field
which have no ability to lie
accept for a few
modern people pretty much all project a false front
all the lies has taken a terrible toll on the human population
and the creatures of the field
which have no ability to lie
insecure
seems like i have always felt insecure
always wanting to go somewhere
but never sure where
so just go
and i did
all kind of places
all kinds of people
all kinds of stuff to do
and here i am
after all this what ever this is and what we are doing
am right here where i started
and don't mind so much anymore
mind meant obey when i was a kid
later mind came to mean consciousness
brain was an idea synthesizer
which was a curiosity to me for a while
but turned out to be a form of masterbation
always wanting to go somewhere
but never sure where
so just go
and i did
all kind of places
all kinds of people
all kinds of stuff to do
and here i am
after all this what ever this is and what we are doing
am right here where i started
and don't mind so much anymore
mind meant obey when i was a kid
later mind came to mean consciousness
brain was an idea synthesizer
which was a curiosity to me for a while
but turned out to be a form of masterbation
drinking
i started drinking for the same reason
i wanted to fit in and be cool
drinking was a lot more fun than smoking
am still not sure was reason means
and am not sure i really want to know
understanding insanity can be a dangerous game
among all these people who like games better than real life
i wanted to fit in and be cool
drinking was a lot more fun than smoking
am still not sure was reason means
and am not sure i really want to know
understanding insanity can be a dangerous game
among all these people who like games better than real life
the cigarette
just went out into a cold north wind
to smoke a little of a cigarette
haven't looked into the relationship for a while
started smoking when i was pretty young
almost all the grownups did
which is what we called the big people in charge
the next step was when i wanted to look cool
like those i seems to admire in some way
which at this point in time i see as some sort of envy
something they had that i wanted too
and i still don't know what that was
probably some sort of acceptance
just trying to fit in and seem normal
which was back when i thought normal was a real word
seems i was seeking something i lacked
there was something i wanted
i have no idea what that was
maybe i just felt alone
to smoke a little of a cigarette
haven't looked into the relationship for a while
started smoking when i was pretty young
almost all the grownups did
which is what we called the big people in charge
the next step was when i wanted to look cool
like those i seems to admire in some way
which at this point in time i see as some sort of envy
something they had that i wanted too
and i still don't know what that was
probably some sort of acceptance
just trying to fit in and seem normal
which was back when i thought normal was a real word
seems i was seeking something i lacked
there was something i wanted
i have no idea what that was
maybe i just felt alone
willing
some associate willing with personal power
for some willing is the surrender of personal power
for some willing is the surrender of personal power
true
there are those that seek what is true
all is true
blind people are often picky
one must cease looking
and give seeing a chance
which is a passive state
as is being
all is true
blind people are often picky
one must cease looking
and give seeing a chance
which is a passive state
as is being
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
lies
the lies that others tell us are not what matters
what matters are the lies we tell our self
and our willingness to tell them
what matters are the lies we tell our self
and our willingness to tell them
respect for innocence
have seen very little respect for innocence in this life
and have very often come up short myself
but respect for innocence has showed up in this life
and it saw me
i could see respect for me
am not so young anymore
and seem to have some small sense of what was
mostly i have wondered
and have very often come up short myself
but respect for innocence has showed up in this life
and it saw me
i could see respect for me
am not so young anymore
and seem to have some small sense of what was
mostly i have wondered
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
why do we drink
because this is such a lonely place
and so crowded
and so little peace
and the reigning social order
has its roots in child abuse
the modern rulers indoctronate the children very young
before they have time to know their self
going to school is not a freedom of choice
going to school is the law
as is going to church in some families
law is such an ugly word
rule is such a stupid word
life doesn't come with an instruction manual
or a rule book
humans came up with that crap
did you ever wonder what love really means
and so crowded
and so little peace
and the reigning social order
has its roots in child abuse
the modern rulers indoctronate the children very young
before they have time to know their self
going to school is not a freedom of choice
going to school is the law
as is going to church in some families
law is such an ugly word
rule is such a stupid word
life doesn't come with an instruction manual
or a rule book
humans came up with that crap
did you ever wonder what love really means
Monday, November 18, 2013
thinking
thinking can only be about yesterday and what was
now is far beyond thought
as is am
which is being
now is far beyond thought
as is am
which is being
boys and girls
in our time a lot of boys like to fuck boys
or be fucked by boys
a lot of girls like to fuck girls
or be fucked by girls
fucking is not the point of the game
and life is not a game
or be fucked by boys
a lot of girls like to fuck girls
or be fucked by girls
fucking is not the point of the game
and life is not a game
knowing
not even an option
being is the only valid option
knowing is retrospective
and of that which is past
life is forever now
being is the only valid option
knowing is retrospective
and of that which is past
life is forever now
Sunday, November 17, 2013
science
science claims to be the answer to our problems
when actually it is the source of most of our major problems
super bombs
new diseases
world wide pollution
we communicate electronically
and have lost the ability to communicate personally
and on and on
am sure i will have more to say about this topic
science makes life complicated
truth makes life simple
when actually it is the source of most of our major problems
super bombs
new diseases
world wide pollution
we communicate electronically
and have lost the ability to communicate personally
and on and on
am sure i will have more to say about this topic
science makes life complicated
truth makes life simple
Saturday, November 16, 2013
war
war is not the path to peace
as so many seem to think
thinking is an affliction
right up there with polio and malaria
only a lot worse
as so many seem to think
thinking is an affliction
right up there with polio and malaria
only a lot worse
Friday, November 15, 2013
ideas
the great curse of our time
and for such a long time
new ideas
old ideas
crazy ideas
we are constantly subjecting our self
to all these conflicting ideas
right and wrong
good and bad
profitable or not profitable
we are just a bunch of crazy people
fascinated by all the endless ideas
which make us blind to what actually is
we have learned how to think
and forgotten how to be
and for such a long time
new ideas
old ideas
crazy ideas
we are constantly subjecting our self
to all these conflicting ideas
right and wrong
good and bad
profitable or not profitable
we are just a bunch of crazy people
fascinated by all the endless ideas
which make us blind to what actually is
we have learned how to think
and forgotten how to be
Thursday, November 14, 2013
love
true love is neither personal or exclusive
true love is a state of being
which words do not describe
most of what we modern people consider love
is a form of gratification
we really like getting what we want
such goals make love almost impossible
yet love all ways exists
we have become very narrow and competitive
these tendencies have the potential to destroy us
at the very least to become selfish isolated and miserable
and lots of other nasty stuff
life does not have to be this way
but we must change our ways
we are taking selfishness to new heights
this is not rocket science
our world is a mess
most individuals that i see are a mess
just trying to act ok and in charge
only life can save us now
and i sometimes have wondered why life has saved us so long
the constitution of this country says something about equality as i recall
equality is in very short supply in this country
i have been here almost 69 years and have experienced equality with another being
but not all that much
and it appears to me that thought is the source of all this insanity i see
all these ideas in constant conflict which all those other ideas
and every one wanting desperately to be right
we humans are in almost constant conflict with in and with out
awareness is not a product of thought
punishing fucked up people for being fucked up people
does not make the world a better place
it is just another attempt to manage people
which is what got us in this mess we call civilization today
true love is a state of being
which words do not describe
most of what we modern people consider love
is a form of gratification
we really like getting what we want
such goals make love almost impossible
yet love all ways exists
we have become very narrow and competitive
these tendencies have the potential to destroy us
at the very least to become selfish isolated and miserable
and lots of other nasty stuff
life does not have to be this way
but we must change our ways
we are taking selfishness to new heights
this is not rocket science
our world is a mess
most individuals that i see are a mess
just trying to act ok and in charge
only life can save us now
and i sometimes have wondered why life has saved us so long
the constitution of this country says something about equality as i recall
equality is in very short supply in this country
i have been here almost 69 years and have experienced equality with another being
but not all that much
and it appears to me that thought is the source of all this insanity i see
all these ideas in constant conflict which all those other ideas
and every one wanting desperately to be right
we humans are in almost constant conflict with in and with out
awareness is not a product of thought
punishing fucked up people for being fucked up people
does not make the world a better place
it is just another attempt to manage people
which is what got us in this mess we call civilization today
what your doing
how does one do
when one doesn't know
what one is doing
this is obviously a pisces quest ye one
when one doesn't know
what one is doing
this is obviously a pisces quest ye one
what just happened
have mostly not been sure what just happened
but this seems to be my life
and am still here
we shall see
if we are willing
truth can be pretty scary
for the careful ones
as i have so often been
when i was sober
have wondered if sober was short for somber
which ain't much of a word
but this seems to be my life
and am still here
we shall see
if we are willing
truth can be pretty scary
for the careful ones
as i have so often been
when i was sober
have wondered if sober was short for somber
which ain't much of a word
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
surrender
not a popular word with me when i was young
not so much any more
win at all cost just pushed me away
not so much any more
win at all cost just pushed me away
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
help
my mistake was wanting to help
those are the ones that get taken advantage of
advantage is the clue
when another is vulnerable
to attack and/or exploit
those are the ones that get taken advantage of
advantage is the clue
when another is vulnerable
to attack and/or exploit
Monday, November 11, 2013
my face
my face was on the front page of the oklahoma gazette once
and the front of my head a few times
and the front of my head a few times
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Saturday, November 9, 2013
one of my favorite jokes
and the lone arranger said
tonto - we are surrounded by wild indians
and tonto said
what do you mean we - white man
those that pause in the speech
are usually going for effect
and have little interest in our essence
which is to our advantage
which obviously must not be taken advantage of
tonto - we are surrounded by wild indians
and tonto said
what do you mean we - white man
those that pause in the speech
are usually going for effect
and have little interest in our essence
which is to our advantage
which obviously must not be taken advantage of
step
there is a time to step for ward
and a time to step for back
and a time to stand still
and be
as long as we choose
we loose
such behavior just knots the way
and we get to experience what behind is
which is a great lack
when life is for ever now of all that is
and fortunately for us
all that is not
and a time to step for back
and a time to stand still
and be
as long as we choose
we loose
such behavior just knots the way
and we get to experience what behind is
which is a great lack
when life is for ever now of all that is
and fortunately for us
all that is not
wanting
the greatest curse of all
for us all
what is wanted must be released
or for ever be the prisoner
and the wanter a prison guard
for us all
what is wanted must be released
or for ever be the prisoner
and the wanter a prison guard
bea
bea was my first love
i did not know that at the time
she was the first to love me
that i was not related to
i did not notice much in those days
noticing began a few decades later
after a few decades of wondering
i still wonder some times
i did not know that at the time
she was the first to love me
that i was not related to
i did not notice much in those days
noticing began a few decades later
after a few decades of wondering
i still wonder some times
the end of war and violence
the end of war and violence will come
when humans quit taking part in war and violence
deer fight every year
but the creatures of the field
never started a war
or sold drugs to children
or all the other little nasties humans have come to be known for
we humans are the problem
and the only solution
the creatures of the field have not learned to hate
but some of their domesticated brethren
are learning about anger and insecurity
which it seems to me how we humans got there
when humans quit taking part in war and violence
deer fight every year
but the creatures of the field
never started a war
or sold drugs to children
or all the other little nasties humans have come to be known for
we humans are the problem
and the only solution
the creatures of the field have not learned to hate
but some of their domesticated brethren
are learning about anger and insecurity
which it seems to me how we humans got there
Friday, November 8, 2013
retarded
my retarded friends
are the only friends i have
and i do not have them
but i fit right in
we are all retarded in some way
such is what it is to be human
less than the whole
yet still a part of the whole
are the only friends i have
and i do not have them
but i fit right in
we are all retarded in some way
such is what it is to be human
less than the whole
yet still a part of the whole
Thursday, November 7, 2013
choosing
some choose to be what they think is the best they can be
some choose to be what they think is the worst they can be
some choose other silly ideas
which is so popular in our time
we were not born to decide who we are
we were born to be who we are
as life made us
if you cannot accept your self as you are
how will you ever accept the rest of us as who we are
and our lies in time will bury us
everything is the clue
life is everything
all that we see
and all we don't see
the more we choose
the smaller we get
and the less we get
all i can say to me is deal with this life boy
this is your draw
some choose to be what they think is the worst they can be
some choose other silly ideas
which is so popular in our time
we were not born to decide who we are
we were born to be who we are
as life made us
if you cannot accept your self as you are
how will you ever accept the rest of us as who we are
and our lies in time will bury us
everything is the clue
life is everything
all that we see
and all we don't see
the more we choose
the smaller we get
and the less we get
all i can say to me is deal with this life boy
this is your draw
competition
our desire to compete
is creating deep divisions in our population
we obviously have a lot to learn about life
cooperation with all is also an option
but selfishness and greed are the greatest god in our time
the desire to win
to be top dog
has become an obsession
the most money
the most power
the most control
apparently we just want to play god
how does one consider the well being of all
instead of just our favorite team
favorite is a prejudice
life is both zero and one
to have favorites creates an imbalance
i watched the oklahoma football team loose by a lot tonight
it wasn't as hard as it was last time
in life as i see it here in our situation
it is important to win with what i call heart
or loose with what i call heart
no one always wins
no one always loses
and some of us get to be here for a while
this stuff seems worth looking into to me
sometimes what we think we are doing
is not what we are actually doing
is creating deep divisions in our population
we obviously have a lot to learn about life
cooperation with all is also an option
but selfishness and greed are the greatest god in our time
the desire to win
to be top dog
has become an obsession
the most money
the most power
the most control
apparently we just want to play god
how does one consider the well being of all
instead of just our favorite team
favorite is a prejudice
life is both zero and one
to have favorites creates an imbalance
i watched the oklahoma football team loose by a lot tonight
it wasn't as hard as it was last time
in life as i see it here in our situation
it is important to win with what i call heart
or loose with what i call heart
no one always wins
no one always loses
and some of us get to be here for a while
this stuff seems worth looking into to me
sometimes what we think we are doing
is not what we are actually doing
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
letting go
first i had to let go of being mad
then i had to let go of disapproving
and then approving
am still working on that stuff
then i had to let go of disapproving
and then approving
am still working on that stuff
girls
the hardest part about dealing with girls
is dealing with their cover story
males generally ain't all that good at that stuff
they are mostly too busy cultivating their own cover story
dealing has been our downfall
and cover stories
is dealing with their cover story
males generally ain't all that good at that stuff
they are mostly too busy cultivating their own cover story
dealing has been our downfall
and cover stories
Monday, November 4, 2013
taking a house apart
those that are the most qualified
are those that built the house
in a real world
not so much any more
are those that built the house
in a real world
not so much any more
love
love is an openness
a sharing of an experience
so many of us fear the truth of our existence
and cannot be who they are
trying is of no use at all
one must we willing
awareness is not a product of thought
truth is not an idea
which are mostly figments of our imagination
and a product of thought
beliefs just clutter the way
as do our hopes and wishes and dreams and ambitions
and on and on we go
to no where to be
our beliefs a based on our ideas
the religions all have their own ideas
the capitalist and the socialist and the communist have their ideas
most every one has their own ideas
and the conflict of ideas is destroying us
and our little world
we do not have to take part in all that crap
a sharing of an experience
so many of us fear the truth of our existence
and cannot be who they are
trying is of no use at all
one must we willing
awareness is not a product of thought
truth is not an idea
which are mostly figments of our imagination
and a product of thought
beliefs just clutter the way
as do our hopes and wishes and dreams and ambitions
and on and on we go
to no where to be
our beliefs a based on our ideas
the religions all have their own ideas
the capitalist and the socialist and the communist have their ideas
most every one has their own ideas
and the conflict of ideas is destroying us
and our little world
we do not have to take part in all that crap
please
never much cared for that word
was told it was just being polite
but actually is a form of begging to get what is wanted
polite is a kind of weird word too
is usually a form of ass kissing
true respect is never an act
or ever based on fear
was told it was just being polite
but actually is a form of begging to get what is wanted
polite is a kind of weird word too
is usually a form of ass kissing
true respect is never an act
or ever based on fear
Sunday, November 3, 2013
we have a problem
we have a serious problem in the world today
we are a serious problem in the world today
as children we are taught to perform
how to act
now - instead of living - we are acting
playing roles
in order to sustain the role
we must repress our true nature
which means we are repressing life
and living a lie
experiencing our self as a lie
lying both to our self and others
now we are several generations deep in untrue existence
the parents are playing roles
the teachers are playing roles
the preachers are playing roles
we play roles with each other
with our friends
with our partners
with the children
with our selves
this role we are playing
this lie we are perpetuating on our self is stifling
the truth of our existence
we are creating distance between our truth
we are creating barriers between the role we are playing
(who we believe our selves to be)
and who we actually are
this leads to great conflict and pressure inside our selves
this pressure is making us sick and mean
this separation from the truth of our self
(what life created us to be)
makes us afraid
the sickness and fear and violence in our world
is a product of our unnatural existence
and will continue to grow until we give up
our unnatural existence
we are emotionally constipated
constantly frustrated
the conflict between our true nature and
the role we are playing (the lie we are living)
leaves us no peace
the thought processes we involve our selves
in are constantly seeking escape from the
pain and fear and conflict and frustration
this leads to confusion
we create an endless stream of ideas of what
we think will make us happy
we live in almost constant torment and need
all the time trying to act like we're not
we are taught to act confident
when we are not
we are taught to take control
when it was control that got us this way
life is not to be controlled
life is to be lived
to be lived and experienced openly and fully
we repress life and expect to be happy
that is insane thinking
the creatures in zoos are not happy
they were ment to be free
living their lives and taking their chances
in a free environment
thinking that we are ok when we're not
(so called positive thinking) will only make
our situation worse
more lies won't help
it will only lead to more disappointment and frustration
the truth of our existence is the only hope we have
awareness is not a product of thought
life is beyond what we think
and what we seem to think we feel
we are a serious problem in the world today
as children we are taught to perform
how to act
now - instead of living - we are acting
playing roles
in order to sustain the role
we must repress our true nature
which means we are repressing life
and living a lie
experiencing our self as a lie
lying both to our self and others
now we are several generations deep in untrue existence
the parents are playing roles
the teachers are playing roles
the preachers are playing roles
we play roles with each other
with our friends
with our partners
with the children
with our selves
this role we are playing
this lie we are perpetuating on our self is stifling
the truth of our existence
we are creating distance between our truth
we are creating barriers between the role we are playing
(who we believe our selves to be)
and who we actually are
this leads to great conflict and pressure inside our selves
this pressure is making us sick and mean
this separation from the truth of our self
(what life created us to be)
makes us afraid
the sickness and fear and violence in our world
is a product of our unnatural existence
and will continue to grow until we give up
our unnatural existence
we are emotionally constipated
constantly frustrated
the conflict between our true nature and
the role we are playing (the lie we are living)
leaves us no peace
the thought processes we involve our selves
in are constantly seeking escape from the
pain and fear and conflict and frustration
this leads to confusion
we create an endless stream of ideas of what
we think will make us happy
we live in almost constant torment and need
all the time trying to act like we're not
we are taught to act confident
when we are not
we are taught to take control
when it was control that got us this way
life is not to be controlled
life is to be lived
to be lived and experienced openly and fully
we repress life and expect to be happy
that is insane thinking
the creatures in zoos are not happy
they were ment to be free
living their lives and taking their chances
in a free environment
thinking that we are ok when we're not
(so called positive thinking) will only make
our situation worse
more lies won't help
it will only lead to more disappointment and frustration
the truth of our existence is the only hope we have
awareness is not a product of thought
life is beyond what we think
and what we seem to think we feel
Friday, November 1, 2013
wanting
probably the most dangerous game we play
the situation is to recognize a natural attraction
as opposed to an imaginary want
which we want another life form to be
with no consideration for who and what they actually are
our selfishness becomes a curse for an other
if willing to be other than its nature to please someone
and our self for seeking that which is not actually a natural attraction
we so often abuse our self and other selves with our silly games
and our truth is no longer what we experience and share
and the sacred trust no longer respected
time for bed now
i'm tired
the situation is to recognize a natural attraction
as opposed to an imaginary want
which we want another life form to be
with no consideration for who and what they actually are
our selfishness becomes a curse for an other
if willing to be other than its nature to please someone
and our self for seeking that which is not actually a natural attraction
we so often abuse our self and other selves with our silly games
and our truth is no longer what we experience and share
and the sacred trust no longer respected
time for bed now
i'm tired
every day
every day is what ever life allows
and what ever we are willing to accept
and deal with as is our nature
perhaps without letting our habits and conditioning rule us
and what ever we are willing to accept
and deal with as is our nature
perhaps without letting our habits and conditioning rule us
the legend of lewis and terri
not many today would believe that story
and the story is still being told
and the story is still being told
want
the most terrible of all words
and a curse that does not actually exist
except in the minds of the lost
and a curse that does not actually exist
except in the minds of the lost
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