with golden hair

with golden hair and eyes of green
such beauty i had never seen
yet from my gaze you quickly ran
i cannot look upon you man

for then i could not play this role
if i don't run you'll touch my soul
and wake me up from this deep sleep
i'll blush at first and then i'll weep

for it's hard to face the truth
that was abandoned in my youth
i fought well but they were many
of friendly faces  -  no not any

now it's safe  -  i do not feel
this final refuge you would steal
and bring me back again to life
take me for your loving wife

but that would bring the longing back
the freedom that my heart did lack
when i was young and tried to fight
the darkness here with my small light

but love died
now i fear it greatly
to live again  -
i have thought of it lately

god it scares me
love is defenseless
war is so senseless
the violence is so hard to bear

i stood once alone
and for a while shone
they beat that out of me
can't you see

i'm one of them now
please go away

please don't love me

don't make me remember
that final december
when i broke  -
and the pain went away

now i do what they say
no more price must i pay

i fought them
but finally lost

yes  -  my heart
is now dark

you awakened
some spark

but  -

damn you

you bastard

you reminded me of
who i once was

but she died

let her be

it hurts to feel


what a place to be

you're there  -
how can i not see

that's just not my way

i hear what you say
but death is not what i embrace

you're still so alive
tho you valiantly strive
to repress all that
you're meant to be

now you hate what i am
say you can't  -  but you can
i'll not die to make lies
be more easy

it was wrong from the start
you belong to your heart


damn