had a lot to say tonight

and decided not to say anything

at least not much

and it felt pretty good

courage

a thing of the past

don't really have much use for that crap anymore


am far too afraid for that

comments

most of the comments in this life

come from me


most of the others ignore me

and hope i will just go away

but not all


all is the friend

and our only friend

the lies

the lies almost won

because if i become a response to the lie

i must become a lie


a pisces friend of mine

showed me something that reminded me of that stuff

punishment

am no fan of that crap

can find no redeeming value in that stuff

hurting people for being ignorant

seems kind of cruel to me


i have my ignorant merit badge

and more than a few others

killing people

there are those that believe that

if someone kills someone they like

they should be killed

and then they become killers


there are those who believe that

if someone does something bad

something bad should be done to them

and they become doers of bad things

or perhaps just promoters of bad things


jesus spoke of these situations

but here in the bible belt

forgiveness is in short supply

and punishment all the rage


the courts are jammed

and the prisons full and overflowing


vengeance is a harsh mistress to serve

and we all become what we do

when we could have become what we are


but that's pretty scary stuff

to the average control freak

responsabilities

there are responsibilities we have to ourselves

and responsibilities we have to others

and our responsibilities to life


but what if we are not responsible


that situation is also possible

but only if we surrender our will

and that ain't very popular in our time

innocence is becoming very rare in the human population


much more common in the creatures of the field

who can't change anything

they just deal with it as they can

and we humans have been making that a lot harder for them

for a very long time

once you face hell

once you face hell

then you get to face heaven

life is a duality

and perfectly complete


once you face heaven

then you get to face hell

life is a duality

and perfectly complete

lightning bugs in the back yard

has been a long time since i saw so many

the children of nature

still see them in the back yard sometimes


humans somewhere back when

were children of nature

not so much anymore

humans for  a long time now

have sought only to conquer nature

which is conflict with the life support system of this planet

which is our mother

electricity

and artificial human thing

to pass in its own time

as all things do


ipods and all those do dads

are just stuff


you are not a thing

but part of you is

for a while

an old man

once i was who i felt like being

and now i am who i am

self

the scariest situation

one ever has to face

mourning

don't get into that

mostly a little game people play with each other

and their self

passing is a natural part of life

who would want to be human forever

openness

the greatest strength of all

open to self

and open to all life

how do you respond to those that are rejecting life

when life is all you see

sometimes a girl

just needs to be quiet for a while


24 hour hell ain't all that much fun

insurance

perhaps the greatest scam of all

second only to capitalism

and most religions

most everyone is trying to sell something

and life is not for sale

eager to please

the outcome of which

always depends on who or what you are looking at

and how they are looking at you

if they actually are looking at you

and not just caught up in your mystic

religions

they require sacrifices

and i find killing the fatted calf pretty silly

unless your hungry


calling it a gift to god

seems pretty silly to me

and that is when i am being nice

probably because my wife is in the room

and she is a natural born nice person

here is the land of the greatest lie of all

ideas

the greatest curse of our time

good

is just a little brother of bad

and bad thrives on that arrangement


submission is all to often

a personal choice

and not natural

should i chase the fox into the field?

and then i did

my biggest problem with religions

is that they indoctrinate the children

with how they should be

before they get a chance to be who they are

and see what they see


nations have their own version of that crap

as do neighborhoods

and gangs

and families

and friends

and enemies


and in our time

it just goes on and on

and here we are

propping each other up

and being supportive

a game for cripples

and here we are

dying

there many situations worse than dying

living a lie for one

democracy

divided and conquered

is what i see


life ain't a democracy

and as to who we are

we don't get a vote

if we find truth interesting

caring

the biggest problem i have


caring

what i could and often do

what think i want

from a personal point of view

which makes me pretty small and selfish

memorizing

telling children to memorize a lot of stuff

interferes with the development of the mind

and the being ones self


i call that stuff mesmerizing

and a crime against life

for profit of all things


modern education is designed to produce a workforce

as are most religions

not sure who or what to be

but am sure as hell

scared not to be myself

wanting

a thing of the past

now demands more than yesterday

i really don't know what to do

and that is my report

rejection

seems pretty hard to reject rejection

when rejection is the only mistake we can make

and we are so fascinated with losing

and being wrong

a young girls legs

are a long way from where i am


but i remember such things


and young girls are the sacred trust

as are we all


i don't expect to be popular

but i do expect me to be me

i drink alcohol

and smoke lucky strikes when i can get them

and i like me in some sort of way

and life goes on

as life can


is don't seem to help much

but i contribute as i can

not sure what else to do

am mostly pretty confused

rejection

rejection is knot the way

and am no fan of rejection


at least not yet

sometimes i have found

it is not always fun to be me

but that is not aways a valid reason

not to be me

to be a friend

to be a friend

in a friendless world

may be the greatest gift of all

if one can be a friend

in a friendless world

that

when we can't face that

we have lost the ability to face ourselves

because that is also what we are

to be afraid of the darkness

when the darkness is upon the land

can be a real disadvantage

and this computer can spell a lot better than i can

but it sure as hell ain't perfect

i have confused it more than once

once we have lost the ability to have fun

the merchants can have their way with us

selling us diversions from our discomfort

and our need for diversions becomes greater


and we have lost our way

and we all have our own way

and our own way is the gift of life

being smart

being smart is a symptom of dumbness

has been my experience

with my self and others than my self


and fortunately or unfortunately

we are one

a girl trying to be pleasing

can become a bitch

if who she has chosen to please

does not find her pleasing

she is actually gratifying herself by being pleasing

and expects her reward

this has nothing to do with me

if i happen to be the one she is trying to please


found this stuff very confusing for quite a time


males often have their own version of that presentation

some of them


life can be pretty scary if one is not paying attention to what actually is

and truth is not a democracy

and the truth of life is sacred

the land of retarded children

that is what we have become

that is what i see


life does not have to be that way

yet we have become life that does not know how to be

we know how to do

or not do

but we have forgotten how to live

cockfighting

modern so called social order

has turned life into a cockfight

and banned cockfighting

that don't seem all that bright to me

and the world is a mess


when you have far more unhappy people than happy people

things are going to change

such is the way we humans are


re-acting and responding are not the same

brave

the truly brave

have no concept of bravery

they are just being who they are

perhaps i am not a smart as i think i am

seems pretty likely to me

courage

a blind mans fantasy

and a rich mans dream

am no fan of either

and i wish you well

the willingness to be

something we all have to face in our own time

some people just don't know

and the best of them know they don't know

the others think they know

or feel like they do

time

the curse of our little imaginations

we have made up something

that doesn't actually exist

once i was of the warriors

one who served war

but in time i learned war was knot the way

and no friend of mine


and life without a friend

is a harsh mistress


have known a couple of friends


am a very lucky guy


i get to be male this time

first i saw the titanic rise

then i saw it fly


dead is an illusion

a delusion of the lost

and the fearful


coming back from the dead ain't all that hard

if one is willing to live

if you can't affirm yourself

life ain't going to be much fun

and the punishment severe


life is truth

and life is what we are


so many today think life is how they feel

or even how they think


we have allowed ourselves to be such ego maniacs

noticing life

the first step to living


for those of us who are living in the past

which is over and done

we are all different

but essentially

we are all the same

now that's a clue that ain't popular

once i was of the warriors

and afraid of kindness

not so much anymore

but still a little

am pretty good at being little

know thy self

good advice

if you got the nerve

courage

a blind mans passion


once i was of the warriors


don't have that problem anymore

have no fear of dying

but living with some of these people

does scare me sometimes


fear does not scare me as much a bravery

this little place that i have been

the story of my life

too much of nothing can make a fellow mean

sometimes a girl

one of the reasons am no fan of religions

they always want to limit us in some way

and i don't find that constructive

or the least bit interesting

ranking

also has a distorting effect on human kind

the child molester

he who intervenes with the natural process of becoming


or she

the scientist

have little interest in what they have to say

they pretty much always claim to know something

and i usually don't agree


knowing is beyond me

perhaps once again

to be where one has been


without two and three

and all that other crap

courage

the cry of the frightened man

or girl


the creatures of the field

don't know about that crap

and the greatest gift of all

may not be a silver plated bowl

or even a gold plated one

or even a pure gold plate


plate is the clue

no where

every one gets to wind up no where

it's a pisces thing

caring

perhaps the greatest curse of all time

what girls like

about all i was interested in

and the girls proceeded to remind me

what they didn't like

and i was confused

hey girls

what do we do

as we watch the old men die

leonard cohen

one who serves more than him self

as does noam chomsky

and bob dylan

if you aren't facing your self

your will never face anyone else

and great loneliness is upon the land

alive

we have forgotten how to be alive

and the price is high

when we don't face ourselves

when we don't face our selves

distortions are created in human kind

an unnatural act

what life on this plane has become for so many

and act is the clue

what are we doing wrong

now that would be a great question

we ain't near sharp enough to be getting everything right

but we sure like our pride

and the few occasions we do ask that question

we usually ask someone else

and not our selves

wealth

when wealth was created

distortions were created in human kind

if you want to be a man

perhaps you can tie your balls back together

and hope they can be friends

god

the nameless one

i don't know what to do

i just show up

and be me today

as i can


don't know what else to do

am still pretty afraid of being with a girl

but that's what i have in common with girls

something i was about to share

but i forgot

thunder

just another way to attract attention

as we just did

basket ball games

probably the least interesting stuff on this plane

if your me


mostly i only find girls interesting

and they are hiding out in the current time

being sexually stimulated

now that would be fun

or perhaps could be

there is a time

there is a time to do what we are told

and a time to be who we are

and we all have to find our own way

faith

am no fan of that crap

such is what the hopeful do

when they are desperate

and have no other place to go


there is always where we are

Truth Is

Truth is not through effort found
Accept what is  -  don't search around
For Truth exists in All you see
There is no way this could not be

A narrow mind can be deceived
So open up and be relieved
Of all confusion  -  fear and dread
That stuff's all inside your head

You can see if you'll stop thinking
It dulls the mind like too much drinking
An open Heart is all you need
Let go of all the senseless greed

You try and try and just get nowhere
Then you bitch and claim it's not fair
Don't try to force it and you'll see
That Love and Life and Truth are Free

Your mind can see  -  but you must let it
Try too hard and you'll regret it
A willing Heart is all it takes
Effort just puts on the brakes

It's all been  -  there is no new
Tho this is known by such a few
Life Itself is All Creation
And Love Eternal Celebration


                  ********

seeing

not at all like thinking

which mostly leads to blindness

and even worse situations

enemies

have not chosen one of those yet

but have gotten pretty close a few times


governments are tempting

and child molesters


welcome to my world

such is how it is to me


am pretty sure i am not an it

and neither are you

unless you are lost in thought

which happens sometimes

for a while

until we see

the cheers and the tears and the jeers

mostly they just bore me anymore


sometimes we win

sometimes we all lose

born in america

i have seen great sadness

and great foolishness

and a few human beings


over 67 years here now

sometimes seems longer than that

sometimes not so long

winning and losing

if anybody wins

somebody loses

if we want to not have a world full of losers

we have to give up winning


that is just an idea

and has nothing to do with what life is


winning is just another way of losing

and mostly lately we are just asleep and dreaming

america beyond capitalism

wondered if there would be such a thing

and finally decided there might be


this was a good book

about our time

i have misinformed

 i have been miss informed

and i have been informed


and the choices are my own

and not theirs to make

i didn't know what to do

but i was really scared not to be me

am getting over that crap

maybe

with any luck at at all

religious people

most of them claim to be speaking spiritually

but mostly they speak emotionally

and from a very personal point of view

and most of them are control freaks

has been my experience

approving and disapproving

of the choices others than themselves make

to be accepted we have to preform in a way

they will approve of

or they will disapprove


i mostly leave religious people alone

but a few have come to my door

to sell me on their brand of salvation


and salvation is not for sale

politicians

i probably should quit watching the news

these people no longer serve we the people

they serve their masters and their selves

and most of them aren't very good liars

some are born to water

and some are born to fire


some are born to earth

and some are born to air


and we are all here

the terrible things we do to each other

and to our selves


about all i have to speak of anymore


i find that somewhat depressing

am being with that as i can

life is magic

life is magical

such is the impression life has made on me


and the scientist and the other intellectuals

hate life for that

they want life to be explainable

and the want to explain it to us

and be superior

the native population call that speaking with forked tung

that works for me

or maybe two tungs

or maybe many more


this computer can't figure our how to spell toung

and obviously neither can i

that thing in our mouths




seems to be a serious ego problem to me

and a product of into security


those that make promises

are idiots to me

public and private faces

most today have public and private faces

and are two faced

and sometimes more

the private face is for the insiders

the public face is for the outsiders

and we become dual

and no longer whole

cause what we are doing to others

is what we are doing to ourself

stimulating and soothing

now that would be cool

if it was real

and not a product of the pharmaceutical empire

they just drug us to keep us manageable

for those that would rule us

and our freedom is fading fast

courage

as has been said before

a weak mans fix


and of no value at all

hey girl

your so  pretty

and i really mean that


mean is the clue

as is that

waiting for the miracle to come

leonard cohen again

hallelujah

a celebration

of who and what we are


which was far easier

before we were so ashamed

of who and what we are

which is a learned thing

and not natural

closing time

i remember that time


not all that much fun

but we were there

i can't forget

i can't forget

but i can't remember what


where life started for me

there ain't no cure for love

leonard cohen

thanks for what you have said to us


and you too bob

mr d

death

death is a gift

as is life

education

education in our time

is nothing more than indoctrination

a form of programing

which makes us slaves to the ideas of others

and ultimately to our own


all these fancy ideas

are blinding us to reality


life has it's natural way

and our little creation here sure ain't natural


awareness ain't a product of thought

awareness is a product of being

confusion and chaos are products of thought

and confusion and chaos are upon the land

as the people be who their not


most today hide from their truth

and make up some silly story to believe in

we are born to be an affirmation of who we are

not who we think we are

or hope we are

or believe we are


truth must be faced to be experienced

and we don't get a vote

unless we are dumb enough to want one


we are encouraged to vote

but that is just manipulation

by those that seek to control us

as is their way

for a time


time ain't really real either

although there is a sequence to all this


astrology can be a clue

if you just observe

and don't use it

or think you know something


we all must find our own way

my final answer

if you can't face your self


you will have a hard time facing me

free

no girl ever wanted to be free

freedom is a willing situation

and not a girl thing at all

has been my experience

war

i learned about war

over a time

and that led to me being a big fan of peace


if such is still possible

for those who have become so violent

as we have become

and so unforgiving


so many here speak of jesus

so few listened to what he said

forgiveness ain't so popular in our time

even with those we like


and blind forgiveness is worse

than no forgiveness at all

truth

the only gift worth giving


and perhaps the scariest gift of all

smart

not a very bright word

but i did try

man or boy

not sure what the outcome will be for me

but am still willing to be here

as i can

and perhaps will be

man

what the girls look for


and the boys wonder about

in our time


so this crap seems to me

once i was a man

and not so afraid

but that was a long time ago

once i was a man

not sure what to call me today


perhaps an old man


perhaps a young man


perhaps not a man at all


anymore

a brave man

a young girls dream

and once a young boys


we are so fond of dreaming

and so scared of living

here in the land of the lost


once a long time ago

i was a man

thinking

the curse of the damned

awareness is not a product of thought

the courage to be

a naked girl

with wings on her feet

and she loved me


perhaps the greatest blessing of this life


there have  been so many

which i was too dumb to appreciate

at the time


most of them

but not all

the last firefly

if i ever see that

we are in big trouble now

love

perhaps the greatest challenge of all

profit

a false god

and the great delusion of our time


we are born to serve

and to exploit our fellow creatures

without reverence for them

is a great crime


so it seems to me

i knew a man once

and a couple of women

who could not reject anyone

even when they tried


they were more alive than most of us

and suffered greatly for that affliction

in this time of don't be who you are

where the liars and profiters rule

all

to include all

is the only way to life


that seemed worth repeating

life

the source of what we are

and the only hope we have


we is a pretty big word

and not for the faint of heart

to include all

is the only way to life

to have been loved by a woman

the greatest gift of all


to have been wanted by a woman

a lesser gift

but still a gift

if your a man

june

came in soft and wet this year

kind of rare in oklahoma

if your my wife

life

life is from within

and the truth of who we are

if we can face ourselves

problems

how we make life harder for ourselves

and gratify our little egos

the child

to not respect the childs right to be

is perhaps the greatest of all crimes

thinking

a primitive state of mind

we have to start somewhere

but today most get lost there


awareness is not a product of thought

and thinking is a childs distraction

and a product of confusion

even more about courage

an old mans sorrow

and old mans lie


it was all a fake

and i even knew it at the time

that was my problem

and all problems must be faced

if we are to face our selves