this life is about yourself

as soon as you think it's about somebody else

you have bought the farm as they used to say

blame and admiration are stone killers

and two sides of the same nickel

truth only appears two sided to the lost

either or is a mad mans destiny

or womans

to submit blindly to the words of others

is to not see for ones self

and self is all we can actually ever have

all that stuff is just illusion

as are hopes and wishes and dreams

which we are so fond of in our time


help only comes occasionally

and never on demand

has been my experience

fighting for life

life is a gift

and fighting for life just pushes life away

trying is a fools errand


life is being

and truth is our natural state


our frustrations often get confused for our truth

that's what the teachers and trainers left us with


such people are con artists

all we have or will ever need is our selves


the few that accept their selves

often suffer greatly today

in the middle of all those that don't

the loneliness and isolation can be terrible

an example

probably all we are capable of being

whether we like that situation or not


so many today sell something

which is how the consumer becomes a big money maker

a big time control freak


this is very sad

cause money ain't real

and certainly not natural


some play this game just for personal gratification

which is even sadder


and the rewards of such actions are short lived

and never rewarding


life is not a reward

life is a gift


rewards are how humans train horses and dogs

and their children


and those they often call their friends and family

what ever that means

usually submission to their will

or lets make a deal

and submit to each others will


this is all a great crime against life

it seems to me

and not the gift of freedom

teaching and training

what humans so like to do with dogs and horses

and the children

don't get along well with most humans today

never did well with training

or advice

science and capitalism

the new priesthoods

and just as dangerous as the others


to follow another or submit to their training

is to be lost


we must get along with ourselves

to be able to get along with others

who are just the rest of our selves

in some sort of way

it seems to me


it is what we are

all that we see

and all that we don't see

potato soup

made some of that a few days ago

used too much garlic


smart is a sure sign of dumbness

and probably cause for alarm

when people think they are smart

they usually become very dangerous

to their selves and others


pride has been a source of such pain for so many

cause shame and pain is the other side of that nickel

untraining

a very painful process usually

and the trainers made the process necessary

for those that submitted to or bought into the training


preachers and teachers are just doing their job

but most are child abusers

and do not offer the children freedom

but the obligation to submit to the will of others

which is what i see and have seen


and mommy and daddy usually did their part

except for a few

getting along

the children are being told they have to learn to get along with each other

that's a lie

getting alone with ones self is the only point of the game

getting along was the intended word but getting alone works

if you can't get along with yourself

you will never get along with anyone else

if you can't be open to yourself

you will never be open to anyone else


and this has nothing to do with learning

learning has been a destroyer of mind for a long time

a realization might be more accurate

or recognition


learning is a response to training

and training is what the manipulators do

and is certainly not liberating

modern people

modern people are mostly so proud of all this

those being well paid with dollars

but actually humans have been getting dumber for centuries


and the wizards will work many wonders

the history of man

mostly a trail of tears

am sometimes surprised

life still permits us to be


perhaps we still have some redeeming value

The Child Cries

The child cries
Another tree dies
Here in the land of the lie

Truth is forbidden
Love mostly hidden
And the mother must live with her sigh

progress

life is a natural process of becoming

which our so called progress has almost put a stop to

ambition

ambition is a sad word

and leads only to heartache and sorrow

made

a really stupid word

it seems to me


as is mad

which is a cruel word

am tired of life

am tired of life

but life doesn't seem to be tired of me


am not sure why

maybe i have been bad

which i know to be true


i was there

where ever that was


bad is just the other side of good

to choose one is to choose the other

and other is a sad word


mostly i lie

sometimes i just be

the kind people

the kind people

get to go home first

the rest of us

get what we deserve


which is sometimes called the serve


humility is a great gift

and not so popular in our time


arrogance is the ruler today

and am not sure just what to say

cause is a served the made in

am not a muslim

am not a muslim

or anything else

but consider autopsies

a crime against life

and a desecration of the body

as so much is in our time


if you can't just look

you will never be able to see

kindness

kindness

life subjected me to kindness

long before i deserved kindness


earning is a false god

freedom

freedom

freedoms just another word

for nothing left to lose


winning is not the point of the game

and games are of very little value


i liked the girl that sang that song

she died

probably shortly after singing that song

but i don't really know

someone will die today

someone will die today

someone dies everyday

some more than others

love so bright

love so bright

this can't be right

the left would not permit it


maybe


we are all we actually have

and we don't actually have that

that actually has us

until it don't

pride and satisfaction

both are lies

and two sides of the same nickel

Winning

Winning is the great obsession today

Coming in second or third

Or twenty third

Doesn't mean we lost


unless we believe that crap

Crazy Eyes

Crazy eyes and hand held faces
Hoping to wipe out the traces
Of the Truth that Lives inside
Which to reveal would hurt the pride

Truth is just not in today
As the children run and play
Make it up inside your head
On delusion mostly fed

Crash and burn for all I care
Shun the Truth that's standing there
All must choose their way it's true
But I'm sure glad that I'm not you

Grace is what we are ment for
Go ahead and shut the door
Love is such a scary fiend
Of it we must all be cleaned

Pride is such a hopeless game
An attempt to hide from shame
Love and Truth is the great power
From which all the blessings shower

The only price is to be real
For this we must learn to feel
Peace is never found in thought
That's a lie that most have bought

Love and Life are in the Now
An Open Heart will show us how
By the Spirit we are fed
By it's Truth we must be led

All those memories inside
Remind us of the tears we cried
Let them go  -  they'll fade away
Give yourself a bright new day

All that's past is dead and gone
Living with it is quite wrong
These are burdens we don't need
Of depression they're the seed

Love and Truth can make it right
Open up and face the Light
Pride and shame and fear will go
And Life become a Sacred Flow

Once Before

Once before the trust was broken
When the Truth was freely spoken
Men were free and knew Life's Way
Life was not some game to play

Now our heads are hollow vases
Stupid looks on all our faces
Respect for Life not  to be found
Pride in self does so abound

Selfish ways will be our doom
For Love of Life we have no room
Truth could yet redeem our lives
Yet greed so far is all that thrives

Kindness is what most have lost
Frustration rules at such a cost
A selfish heart can not see clearly
And Love's the gift we need so dearly


shame is just the other side of pride

and courage a blind mans mistress

Mothers Weep

Mothers weep
We live like sheep
The herd is all we know

Live for pride
The child do hide
An act is all we show

To live the truth
Would save our youth
But that is long forgotten

The sands of time
Are oh so fine
Inside we're slowly rottin'

The gift of life is one for all
The wise man knows it's so

Yet in our greed and desperate need
It isn't love we show

Our wants become our only guide
Get it all  -  oh how we tried

Yet in the end we all have sinned
From truth we learned to hide

openness

we cannot possibly be open to others

when we are not open to ourselves

such is not possible

and this is the land of escapism

and entertainment and diversions are big business

and we have become a lucrative market for all that stuff

The Network of Thought

by Krishnamurti

another clue

and he knew he wasn't the answer

and nobody else was either

an old man

feel like an old man sometimes

but where all we have been

isn't necessarily who we are

fighting

fighting is not the source of happiness

fighting is what has created this situation

and never leads to peace

as anyone can see

if they can see what is happening here


the prisons are full and the enforcers are all around

and the little people are being told what to do

and who to be

almost from birth in our time


kindness has become so rare


be nice is what is required

and that means submit to my will

by those saying stuff like that


and those who can't or won't submit to the situation being imposed on them

are now being called or classified as autistic or defective

and subjected to controlled environments and powerful drugs


freedom is not what i see in our little world very much

religious people don't permit freedom of choice

nor do governments or bankers or corporations


only a few people i have met permit freedom

most have required me to adapt to their particular set of rules and guidelines and expectations


i have had only a few friends

here among all my friends

independent voters

perhaps if there we more of us

the two dogs fighting over the bone

might not be so powerful


but the two dogs limit our access

and i don't think that is very nice


we are the bone they are fighting over

as long as we permit that situation


independence is a situation most of us are not too familiar with

but so many like to claim we are


mostly we are just manipulated is what this situation seems to me

a free man or woman is called an anarchist in our time

we are expected to submit to someone else's idea of order

which is usually to their advantage and not ours


freedom is a word often spoken in our time

yet rarely permitted


the rules and regulations are almost endless

and laws rule the land

which i did not make

and no man has the right to

if your me


when two dogs are fighting over a bone

it don't much matter to the bone which one wins

the result will be the same

for the bone


we bones still get a vote

but our options are limited by those in power

i don't call that situation freedom

and all those laws limit mine


and the jobs we are permitted restrict us greatly

cause the rich and powerful rule this world

and most of us aren't rich or powerful

and our freedom would scare them greatly

and be a threat to their power

because we are so many

and they are so few


to submit to the authority of either party

(which is required to take part)

is to surrender ones freedom

just ask any young lawmaker


we are wage slaves at best

and the rich and powerful pay their supporters the best

those that sell out to their rules

and the rest of us get whatever they don't want

life

the great gift of all

to us stuff

sometimes i cry

and experience relief

and no longer wish to hurt any one

or even make them feel bad as i have

to recognize the friend

may be the greatest gift of All


second only to being the friend

we are sad little boys

trying to be men


and the girls are not doing much better


trying is "no way to be"

and perhaps the end of us all

if the mother does not wean us

we must wean our selves

to be free of our dependence


and the mother must not be harmed in any way

and all ways treated with kindness

drug cartels and capitalists

the only way to be free of them

is to not buy their products

and they will go out of business

laws and rules

those creations of small men and some females

that restrict our freedom

and require us to submit to them

and their petty little wills


those that claim to know what is best for us

are trying to play god

and certainly not our friend

although still a part of us


we all must find our own way


and fighting the law will not set us free

it will only make the law greater


it is a clue

and concerns how we see


or perhaps influences how we see might be better


the concept of it separates us from who we are


the president is in town

he walks like a model

and i wish him well

contracts

binding agreements

and who would wish to bind or be bound

is no servant of freedom

greed and selfishness

when we submit to that potential in ourselves

the creatures of the field become far superior to us


those that look down on those we call animals

are looking down on life


looking down is the clue


looking down from our so called superior position

is a great crime against life

and ourselves


separation does not lead to wholeness

and certainly not greatness

as the dreamers believe

With Golden Hair

With golden hair and eyes of green
Such beauty I had never seen
Yet from my gaze you quickly ran
I  cannot look upon you man

For then I could not play this role
If I don't run you'll touch my soul
And wake me up from this deep sleep
I'll blush at first and then I'll weep

For it's hard to face the truth
That was abandoned in my youth
I fought well but they were many
Of friendly faces  -  no not any

Now it's safe  -  I do not feel
This final refuge you would steal
And bring me back again to life
Take me for your loving wife

But that would bring the longing back
The freedom that my heart did lack
When I was young I tried to fight
The darkness here with my small light

But love died
And now I fear it greatly
To live again  -
I have thought of it lately

God it scares me
Love is defenseless
War is so senseless
The violence is so hard to bear

I stood once alone
And for a while shone
They beat that out of me
Can't you see

I'm one of them now
Please go away

Please don't love me

Don't make me remember
That final December
When I broke  -
And the pain went away

Now I do what they say
No more price must I pay

I fought them
But finally lost

Yes  -  my heart
Is now dark

You awakened
Some spark

But  -

Damn you

You bastard

You reminded me of
Who I once was

But she died

Let her be

It hurts to feel


What a place to be

You're there  -
How can I not see

That' just not my way

I hear what you say
But death is not what I embrace

You're still so alive
Tho you valiantly strive
To repress all that
Your ment to be

Now you hate what I am
Say you can't  -  but you can
I'll not die to make lies
Be more easy

It was wrong from the start
You belong to your heart

Damn

love

most today consider love to be a private situation

but i don't agree

privacy is isolation

which is the lack of love


and prisons are so popular in our time


and killing others that don't agree with us

or won't submit to our will


our states don't seem very united to me

except essentially


so much resistance from behind

a line from an old song i once knew

scientists

a sad bunch of people

and bunch is a clue

they examine the residue of life

and claim to explain life

and no one ever explained life

and no one ever will

life is far beyond explanation

and no sane person would attempt such a thing


but the religious freaks and the scientists claim they can


am not going for that stuff


we are all on our own

so it seems to me


it is a stupid word

and of no value


and my stupidity is pretty glaring to me

we get along somehow

mail was probably the beginning of the end

and then there was radio

and then television

and now we have the web

and twitter


nothing is personal anymore

it seems to me


don't get personal is our new call sign

one can look and listen

but no touching


and we are so afraid

as we try to act like we are not


not is no place to be

and punishment is so popular

something i read somewhere

if your hungry be food

if lonely

be a friend


something i didn't read here

using people and our fellow creatures

will make you sad and alone

and in some cases mean and ugly

and fat and swollen

as is so common today

snow crystals

no two have ever been found to be alike

yet essentially all are the same


perhaps another clue

we modern humans

we are being trained and taught

to accept some parts of our self

and reject some parts of our self

which leaves us incomplete

and vulnerable

and easy marks for those that would use us

and life no longer can

cause were walking dead meat


it's no fun to die

if one hasn't been living

seeds

the study of what we call seeds

and be very revealing

if your not a scientist


religious freaks never do that stuff

they just get emotional about how we should all act


act is the clue

jesus spoke of forgivness

i live in the bible belt

and the prison system is extensive

vengeance and punishment all the rage

on a grand scale

this is what i see

that which is usually called justice

until it bites us on the ass

and it's our turn to face justice


all this crap is an unnatural act

what my wife said to me last night

she told me she would rather

sit among a gathering of the creatures of the field

if they would accept her

than a dinner party in manhatten


she was speaking her truth

and i agreed


once we were also creatures of the field

and far more civilized


modern educated humans seem to think

they created civilization

but actually we destroyed civilization

and a far greater kindness than this


mostly we kill and destroy the essence of this planet

for far more than our daily needs


and our greed for more than we need

is becoming relentless

as we lose our relationship with life

and life is all that is


all is the clue

look what we have done

to this once beautiful land

if you can

as life struggles to survive here

control

the curse of our time

and self control is the greatest curse of all


felt inclined to repeat that

and i mean every word

have lived in the land of control for a long time now

and a great sickness is upon the land

for all to see who are willing to see


the preachers and teachers have lied to us

and their rules are false gods

they sought to be the creator

which they are not qualified to be


we all meet our maker in our own time

politician

another word for control freak

they make the laws


Life has Natural Order

which few humans any longer respect


to be governed is to be without freedom


control is the curse of our time

and self control is the greatest curse of all

if you are hiding from your self

and i am open to you

we are not on the same page

as is so often the case in america and elsewhere today


privacy is not really possible

if we are to live


the sun does not hide

but the moon does sometimes

i know that sounds pretty silly


but have found astrology to be a clue

if you don't read astrology books

secrets

only a problem

when we keep them from ourselves

this leads to great conflict

and hurtful relationships

as governments learn everyday


am no fan of being governed


but governments are very popular in our time


being governed is not free

to be governed is to be regulated

and a victim of rules made by others

usually some clowns called politicians

who serve their own interests


don't much care for rules

and laws are just powerful rules

am no fan of that crap

and in our time this is called the land of the free

which is not true at all

we are free as long as we submit to the rules others make for us

that is abuse and a lie

if your me

and in this  case i happen to be

guilt and gratification

are the same curse

and lead to great suffering

try

perhaps the most stupid of all words

control

the great affliction of our time


and not even an option


no matter how hard we try

time

time isn't real

but we are so addicted to our clocks

pride

pride can only lead to shame


there are two sides to every nickel

here in the land of the nickel

which is a capitalist word


greed can only lead to suffering and loss

for somebody

and sooner or later in time

to ourselves

darkness

the other side of light


and there ain't no other


what we call that

is just an illusion

and a figment of our imagination


we humans seem to like being creative


all creation has already been done

Nietzsche was brilliant

but he chased his tale down the rabbit hole

and went crazy

girls were hard for him to deal with


and deal is a capitalist creation


perhaps another clue


contracts are binding agreements

and binding can't be good

if freedom has any value

gift

a gift is only a gift

if the giver is unknown


gratitude leads only to guilt


only is a strange word

as is strange

wanting

the greatest curse of all

for those of us that embrace it

as i so often have


if we didn't want things

capitalism would soon disappear


things is the clue

we humans

the only problem this little planet has


sometimes i wonder why we do all this stuff that we do

so much of which is not very nice

and so often ugly anymore


what have we lost

why do we so often seek to hurt each other


not sure what why means

or is

or wonder


mostly i wonder why we are so unkind


frustration is a harsh mistress


and the cure for that is to give up wanting


i have learned what wanting means


seeking what we seem to lack

or think we do


i find thinking to be a great curse

and the source of so much sorrow

which just leads to believing

and hoping

and wanting

and wondering


we little people are the only problem we have

it seems to me


when we let our meanness lead us

and our greed

we are lost

and kindness fades away


wanting is a disease

and most of us are infected

heaven

a state of being

as is hell

peace is to know God

and God ain't somebody somewhere

God is everybody everywhere

the good guys and the bad guys

and the trees and the bees and all that other stuff

accepting this and rejecting that leads to less than whole

which is just an illusion

and no fun for All

good night my love

which is all i have to say tonight

some of this is poetry

and some is comments on what i have seen


which is probably the scariest part

i like life

and can't seem to help it

it is not a valid word

no comment

the story of my life


most everyone passes on me

but not everybody

being

a much greater experience than thinking

which is how we make life small and stupid

which seems a great crime to me

and self abuse


look at what science has done for us

monster bombs and prescription drugs

and endless war and conflict

which no one ever wins


war has no winners

and the doctors just make money off of us

and we still die

lost and alone

religions

don't really much enjoy speaking of religions

most are so devoted to some idea

am no fan of ideas

as i have said so often

awareness is not a product of thought


thinking  -  thinking

that's our game

destroy a world

and live in pain


our beliefs only divide us

and lead only to conflict


am getting really tired of conflict


once i was of the warriors

and that led to great sorrow

which i am still trying to get past

and that was a long time ago


violence only leads to more violence

and more pain and suffering


peace is a gift

and a lot more fun

in the long run

ideas

wishful thinking

and of no value at all

awareness is not a product of thought


but delusions are

opposition

the curse of our time

united states

it don't seem to me

that our states are all that united

we mostly seem divided

but essentially we are one

Cave of Forgotten Dreams

a documentary film by Werner Herzog

that cave and the drawings are really something to see

afganistan

i would pray for afganistan

and all the rest of us if i knew what to pray for


so many claim to know

am not one of those

we have all been abused

and if we succumb to the temptation of vengence

we will become abusers


the jews face a similar situation

as do the christians

and the russians

and americans

and on and on and on

and most everyone else in some way or another


we all get to choose in our own time

until we don't

hate

we are so eager and willing to hate in our time

that will be our downfall

if it becomes our only goal

don't really enjoy speaking this way

but is seems to me

that we humans have become the biggest problem Life has

at least in our time in this little world

profit and gain and greed and glory

seems to be the cause of this frightfull story


the creatures of the field didn't do all this to our little world

and people made up a devil to blame all this on

i ain't going for that


i know religions are popular

but they just seem to divide us

i can't be a fan or promoter of that situation

it just seems to be a form of escapism to me

Weary Soul

Although the soul is sometimes weary
And the winter nights quite dreary
Still the spark of Life burns brightly
To the Truth it still clings tightly

Life is something we don't see
Eternal Gift that's All Ways Free
Yet in our time so unrespected
The Sacred Trust now long neglected

Man himself is born to serve
Tho from Truth we chose to swerve
No longer hearing Lifes True Voice
Feeling he knew best his choice

Perfect Order slipped away
As new ideas shaped the play
All the stage was rearranged
From nature he was soon estranged

A war of wills soon came about
Each sought to be the loudest shout
Love and Grace would be no more
Each culture rotten to the core

Now our lot is pain and strife
Fear and greed throughout our life
Yet still the Spirit Loves us All
In the Heart you'll hear its Call

An age of rages fills the land
All thought out by man  -  well planned
No more serving True Creation
To his fellows  -  no relation

Greed and profit  -  that's the boss
Sarcasm we so freely toss
Loving Kindness is no more
Oh the harvest we're in for

For all will reap  what we do sow
The price we'll pay begins to show
As sickness grows with every day
Still we carry on this way

Prophets all have spoke the word
Tho we nod  -  we have not heard
Still ourselves we seek to serve
Strive and kill  -  such mindless nerve

A might blow will be our fate
For without Love it is too late
Man in Truth could still return
It's not too late  -  we still could learn

From Life  -  you hear it in the heart
An Open Mind is where you start
The Spirit Lives and Loves us All
But we must listen for it's call

Hear me now  -  Oh Lord of Light
Standing in this land of fright
Thy Presence is no longer felt
By those that fear their heart will melt

Strange contortions rule us now
We speak of peace but don't know how
Your Truth we chose to push aside
For Love we substituted pride

Now crimes and violence fill the land
And sickness plagues this weary band
The time is right  -  it seems to me
For you to show us how to see

What man once knew  -  but then forgot
And in ideas soon got caught
Now delusions fill our brains
The smallest spark of Life remains

I know it's bold  -  but help us out
Please forgive  -  but i must shout
It seems to me You wait too long
For man to understand his wrong

Perhaps i should not be so bold
I know the plan must all unfold
But the pain of all i've seen
Leaves me not of patience keen

sometimes

sometimes if feel like i am being too nice

sometimes i feel like i am not being nice enough

sometime is feel like i should give up being nice

and just be myself

which is appealing to me

as scary as that can be

How It Once Was

And Oron spoke to his son Jacob about
  how it once was

About how the land once supported mankind
  and the creatures of the field

In the beginning the cycles of manifestation
  were the greatest power

The cycles of dispensation regulated all
  Life on this planet

The fruits of Nature came and went

Each learned to work and Live within the Order

Or died

There was no way to cheat

The forms of Life came forth and grew and
  evolved  -  ran their natural course of existence

And died in their own time  -  as all things must

But the Force or Spirit of Life once more cloaked
  its self in the material of this plane

To come forth again and again in it's apparently
  endless sequence of expressions of its self

Each more refined and remarkable than the
  one before

This is how it once was

As the Creative Force wove the glorious Fabric of Life

A Living Cloak upon this once barren globe

At some point in time  -  I know not when

The idea arose in man that he could or should take
  charge of his life

To make things better for himself

That he need not accept the cycles of dispensation
  as Life provided

And took away

Perhaps he thought or desired not to die in his own time

Or that his children or wife should not die

This is not known to me

All that is known is that mankind came to rebel
  against the Order of Life

Perhaps this is the natural next step for man

I do not know

In any case  -  man made many changes in this world

Apparently to improve his situation  -  the he might
  not have to strive and struggle and die

That Life might be made easier  -  and last longer

How and why is lost in the passage of time

All that is known is that man became greedy and
  selfish and feared for himself

Once man took only what he needed to live and
  there was balance in this world

But man then came to take more than he needed

And deprived others of his kind and the creatures
  of the field what they needed to live out their
  allotted span of time

The Order of Life was disrupted

Soon the vast green cloak of the forests began
  to disappear

Slowly at first  -  but with ever and ever
  increasing speed

For a time Nature could heal the wounds to
  the body

But as man sought more and more not to die  -  with
  his vaccinations and his cures  -  the population
  grew and grew and began to overwhelm the natural
  life support system of this plane of existence

More and more the great canopy of the forest disappeared

The creatures of the field  -  who also make up the
  fabric of life on this plane  -  began to disappear

The atmosphere and climate began to change

The concoctions of man to improve his lot in life
  began to sterilize and poison the earth

Whole species were destroyed to make man safer and
  gorge his belly beyond and reasonable need

The signs of decay and corruption were clear

But man refused or was unable to see the error
  of his ways

The great crime being perpetuated on the fragile
  beauty of the earth

And ultimately upon himself

Man created new systems to support himself

And as each failed in time  -  sought to create another
  and another

Each failing more quickly than the last

It is not known if this journey man has taken is right
  or wrong

Perhaps we have failed at our destiny

Perhaps not

All that is known by me is that man suffers greatly
  amid his own creations

Has brought this suffering upon himself by not
  accepting the gifts of Life as they are offered

And accepting their loss when they are reclaimed
  by the order of things

The creatures of the field are born and die in
  their own time  -  without complaint

I have seen it so

In our own time  -  we must make our own choices