my father figure

i remember my father well

he was a man

he was one of those people

john wayne played in those old movies

your best friend

or your worst nightmare

and you could choose for your self


he had a very impressive presence

i remember one time

when he heard me pop off at my mother

(some sort of male adolescent hormone thing)

he quietly said come here boy

we went into another room

where he said to me

if you don't respect that woman

because she's your mother

that's my wife

and i don't want you talking that way to her

which i never did again

and appreciated the reminder

and do to this day

what we are doing

one thing i have learned

in almost 70 years of being here

is that we humans

don't know what we are doing


but we sure do like to think we do

and that is a lie we tell our self


and the truth of what we are doing

becomes our greatest fear

right and wrong

as near as i can tell

we all got or get

a right and wrong

merit badge


no one gets everything right

no on gets everything wrong


life does not permit such behavior


we all just get to be our self

and see how that works out


was afraid of life for a while

not so much any more


am more afraid

of not facing life

the girl

the girl seems to want to

wash away all impurities

which seems to be me


and i am yet still wanted


still not sure what that means


maybe nothing


have been there before


and now once again


must not be too bright a guy

but i have tried

which i already knew

was a waste of time

rejection

have proven i can stand up to rejection

i ain't dead

to get loose from

the hardest thing to get loose from

is that which has been rejected


rejection is not what life does


life is the ultimate embrasement

and celebration


and no one ever looses

we just gain what we want


until we get tired of that crap

protection

the greatest foolishness of all

is to protect our self


our self is all


and selfishness just makes us small


a pointless waste of our self


which ain't all that bright


smart ain't a very intelligent word


but so many still try to be that word

computers

know why we like computers

they always do what we tell them

but unfortunately or fortunately for us

not all ways


perfection is well beyond all ideas

which are always limited

by their self

show off

am a natural born show off


forgot what ever else went with that


but am still grining


not sure why

take me

once a girl wanted me to take her

but she had not offered her self yet


there was nothing i could do


she carried more water

than anyone i had met


and drier

than anyone i ever knew


i like her

how could i not


life is forever all in one

me again

me is just a small part

of what i am


as are you


small is just another way to be


life seems to like to cycle

perhaps out of boredom

me

that me part of me

is not really real

(which is a silly word)

and only around for a time


real is not actually a word either

and just implies

our thoughts have some sort of creative potential


which they do

but only in our imagination

which ain't real


just our self delusions


which we are free to explore

as we choose


choose may be the stupidest word of all

control

not actually an option

yet so many seem fascinated with that idea


ideas are a step child of ignorance

yesterday

so many yesterdays


if we would give up yesterday


life would be so much freer


freer looks kind of funny to me also


maybe the machine is ignoring me

or maybe its broke


maybe is an escapist word


am is probably the only real word


words are just noises

we humans seem so fascinated with farting

the north node in cancer

also have saturn there

not too far away


what that seems to mean to me

is i can be what you need me to be

for a time


am also a sagitarious eight

with a moon mars conjunction in sagitarious


and jupiter in virgo

with a kind of wide conjunction

with neptune in librea


not sure if i spelled librea right

don't look light to me

but the machine didn't complain

blame

so many in our time

want to blame their situation on others

which is just an attempt to escape

their situation with their self


any further comment

would be an insult to life

the american dream

i am a child

of the american dream


born before it became a nightmare

which i have been required to watch

and often choose to take part in


still not sure what this all means

not even sure it means anything


it seems a pretty silly word to me

just another form of rejection

which would be anti life to me


separation from life

would be that greatest curse of all

and not really even a possibility


but illusions and delusions

are always an option

for those that choose to suffer

hiding

we are free to hide from life

if we choose

for we are free

which is lifes gift


to hide behind me

is occasionaly still an option


till you catch your breath

and get your feet on the ground


not really my favorite situation

but there have been those times

when that was the thing to do


that and thing are not real words

and neither is times

but everyone pretty much talks that way

in our time


which is what we share


time is just and illusion/delusion

life is all ways now


and there is no other way


other

another fake word

the friend

the true friend

never rejects anyone


although the occasional pass

is appropriate

from time to time

a light weight

mostly have alway been

a light weight


have been pretty fortunate


mostly the heavy weights

just sink to the bottom


was not an overly bright child

i just never knew what i wanted to be


and don't to this day

actually this night in this location


the forcast is for rain

nothing

what if we are

no thing

living

to truly live

all imagination must die


which means

cease to be

to live and to die

for those that have truly lived

dying ain't all that hard


all you got to do

is let go

of your self


living and dying

are the same

at the same time


often with great affection

for both

at the same time


gaining and losing

are just an illusion


all my father ever told me

was be a man


he was a good guy

i liked him


we last spoke

a few days before he died

and we both knew

what was next for us

and would have to wait and see

what was next


he was a little nervous about our situation

but he was ok

the children

mostly i call them the young


those that are not yet ready

to face life


there is a time to protect and watch over them


until it is time to move on


the cycle of life

is far beyond the control of mankind


yet so many in our  time

seem to wish that situation so


good luck with that

your sure as hell going to need it


it is not a real word

a journey to the east

a little book i read

a long time ago


not very popular

in our time

but i liked it

rejected

some of us get to be

the rejected


some of us get to be

the rejecter


we both get to be

what we are


which seems to be

much the same


in perhaps a different way


as is life

being tricked

if i minded being tricked

i probably wouldn't still be here

motorcycles

owned and rode a motor cycle once

for a while

that was pretty fun


was a blue 400 kawasaki


owned a harley for a while

but never rode that one


was too old and weak by that time

but spent a little money anyway


that was fun too


spending money usually wasn't all that much fun

virgo

the sun was not in virgo

when i was born

but jupiter was

which makes me

some what of an authority

on that particular affliction


some of us are not virgos by nature

some of us get to be virgos by placement

another "i didn't know"

i didn't know

why should i care


every time i try to find her

she's not there


a song i heard once

and still do


life is a great mystery to me

and i love life so


which often seems so silly to me

i didn't know

and i didn't care


round and round we go

often landing

who knows where


such is the way of life

life seems to me

to win

sometimes the only way to win

is to lose


seems to depend on

how much pisces

is in your pattern


and we little human types

rarely deserve to win


but we sure do try


dreaming is an affliction

of a weak mind

i know

i know that sometimes

i turn into a real drama queen


usually when i embaress my self

as has so often been my nature

my wife

i know she is not actually mine


she gets pissed at me sometimes

but i know she really likes me

something my father said to me

my father didn't say much to me

mostly he let me be me


one day he was home

which didn't happen all that often

he mostly worked

seven twelve hour days


i poped off to my mother that day

used a sarcastic tone of voice

nothing real bad


but he took the time to say

"come here boy"

and we went into another room


what he said to me was

"if you don't respect that woman

because she's your mother  -

that's my wife  -

and i don't want you talking

to her that way"


and i haven't forgot what he said

to this day


was inclined to say those words

to a friend today

in a little different way


but i didn't

until now


don't much think he deserves

a personal delivery


but i like him

the last day

the last day

of my life


not really my life

but seems to be sometimes


have wondered about that situation

a time or two

not all that often


this has been quite an experience

as far as i am concerned

and not much care about

what other people think


which is their business

and none of mine

what the hell is going on here

wondered about that once

back in there some where


was troubled for quite a what


finally realized

that wasn't my business

and a bit above my pay grade

as i have heard said around here


my job is to be me

as i can

more about privacy

privacy

is just another desire

for an isolation chamber


usually just to escape our self

or maybe to reject where we are


either way

not an affermation

of who and where we are


and therefore a lie

which can only lead to

lying to the children


which is what got us here

in this great mess that we see

and face every day


self deception

is not a cure

for our problem


self deception

is the cause of our problem

god

i have no word for god


i do know life is a very

complex and elaborate

process of becoming


which i am open to

as i can

lucky

was born in a lucky space


don't mean to imply

i know what lucky means


that seems to be me


if your me

speak

some seem to speak

to those that don't call out

homosexuality

i wish you well

if that is what you wish

from the game


in our own time

we are all surprised

beards

got into a beard for a while


but only for a while


they tend to drag on the floor

after a while

being

the male gets to be one thing


the female gets to be three things


and here we are


about to be four things


if you have learned your numbers

dignity

dignity is so important

to so many in our time


for a while i wondered why


and then became afraid

that i might find out why


dignity is about image

life is about life

sorry

its too late to say i'm sorry

i didn't know

why should i care


everytime i tried to find her

she's not there


an old song i once heard

infability

seems a bit of a stretch to me


but why not

you

what i call you

is just a different version of me


no matter how hard i try

time

just a little game we play

for a time

with our self


not actually

to be taken

all that seriously

life

still wonder

what that word means


after all this time


slow was once

my middle name


even after all this time

nothing

something that life

can never actually do

or be


accept in an illusionary way


which didn't seem all that fair to me


for a while there


am and am not

are the same word

without the space


space is just an illusion

knowing

i don't really know

what you are doing


and have no idea

what i am doing


all of that stuff

is above my pay grade


and here we are


welcome to our little world

sleep

am obviously

not asleep yet


never really tried

all that hard

the daddy longlegs

don't know what they eat

but they seem very good at it


most that i have seen

in this neighborhood

the spider and the fly

a unique relationship

profile

reviewed my personal profile tonight


that's as good as any


and better than some

light

how we learned to

project an image

on a wall


and how small

we have become


mere shadows

of our self

pray and prey

pray and prey

are very similar words


and perhaps a clue

selective seeing

the great affliction

of our time


and for some time now


this is not yet

what we did

for so many of us


it is what we are doing now


and most are so confused

cookies

some cookies

have to stay in the oven longer

than other cookies


life is just


one clue after the other

drugs

most drugs today

both legal and illegal

just distract us from our self


of which the phonomonune

seems pretty weird to me


and that seems to be

the correct spelling to me


there is no life to be had

in phonomonune

we are making that crap up


and the emptiness

is almost greater than ever


ever is quite a lot

the boss

the boss

is someone you work for


to be your own boss

is to turn your self

into someone you work for


not a big fan of bosses

but their are occasions

when they are called for

male domination

many seem to think

our little planets social orders

are male dominated


i don't agree


males and children

seem most often prey


want is a female situation


and we all have the potential


and are mostly victims of want

in our time


either our own wants

or someone else's wants

what i have noticed

one of the first situations i noticed

was how much i had not noticed


still not sure what notice means

love

a word that's bigger than me

am not qualified to say what it means


so many seem to think it means

getting what they want


that would be gratification

i know what that word means

and that word is very personal


love is free

and not necessarily personal


love cannot be controled and regulated

although most of us are

if not by others rules by our own


that which becomes selective

lacks love

so life seems to me


looking and seeing

are not the same experience


and awareness is not a product of thought


most modern people are hiding i their brain thinker

and lost in their thoughts

which is disrupting their natural emotional nature


but this is how they have survived


but this state is neither real life or love


drugs are very popular in our time

both legal and illegal


and the internet the latest great escape


we can never really escape life

and yet so many try in our time


we humans are obviously not very good

at what we have been doing

innocent

how does innocence survive life


by surviving its own innocence


not sure what survive means


not a real important word

thinking

perhaps the greatest

curse of all


to think about life

while ignoring life

and thinking about life

is retrospective

and sifting through the past


life is only and always

in what we call now

and forever free


now is a cool word

i like it as such

as long as not too demanding


trying to harness and control life

is a really bad idea


and yet so popular in our time

and the suffering is very great

punishment

only idiots

see any redeeming value

in punishment


that stuff breaks a few

and makes the rest

mean and/or crazy


and a new batch

of control freaks

is born


this world i have been born into

is a real mess


and we humans are responsible

for our little contributions


truth can be a harsh mistress

but i see no other way

looking and seeing

how i look at people

and how i see people

are no longer the same


in the past i looked at people

through my own attitude at the time


looking and seeing

are not the same

and don't have much in common

a crises

a crises in thinking
can set the heart blinking
and really mess up your day

so it's probably best
to just lay it to rest
and go take a nap in the hay

for thinking too much
all that worry and such
don't change a thing in the end

to find peace of mind
you must learn to be kind
to your self  -
like your very best friend

shame

our shame

is only a reflection

of our pride

a child cries

a child cries
another tree dies
how long will it be till we see

that the world is in pain
and the wails are like rain
the pills must be stronger each day

this cannot be right
such a horrible sight
we each are a cause in some way

let another one change
i will not re-arrange
seems such a cop-out to me

we all must take part
in any new start
if any real change is to be

to think of ourself
beyond everyone else
is wrong and it's so plain to see

we're all selfish inside
yet most try to hide
from the truth  -  which is what sets us free

no  -  we're not all bad
but our minds have been had
and we think someone else is at fault

but each must accept
his own part of the debt
not just armor ourselves like a vault

love you will find
is not in the mind
be open to find your own heart

a womans face

a womans face was all it took
to launch this bold crusade

up till then i did my job
i thought i had it made

then i saw her standing there
my heart went all a flutter

but all i got was empty arms
next i found the gutter

self-pity took me to its breast
i fed with such delight

it seemed to me that i'd been wronged
this brought me some respite

in time i learned and now i'm free
or maybe on parole

those want things sure do drag you down
they always hurt the soul

learn

we become what we learn


i recomend not learning


teachers are parasites

devoted to conditioning

the next generation of parasites


learning is only training


i didn't much care for the army

don't care much

for being told what to do


and a train

is a bunch of things

pulled along in a line

by a force

ourside their self


not much freedom

in that situation


and the land of the free

is no more to be found

care

as soon as we care

we are lost


soon to think

other people should do

what we want them to


welcome to the land

of the control freaks

where rulers run our lives

and freedom no where to be found

supported by life

if you want to be supported by life

be supportive of life


we are what we are

to catch a thief

one of the stories of my life


never did try to catch girls

but i showed up every time

and got caught a few times

respect

life without respect for life

is a pretty bleak place to live


all life


life isn't so selective

why should i be


my only resposability

is to be me


in all times

in all ways


not who i think i am

not who i think i should be


just me

feet

your feet can tell you

a lot about who you are


as can you hands


if you can see

failure

the only way to fail

is to be afraid of failing


or maybe just the easiest

an old memory

the women in my family

told me not to be afraid


all my father told me

was be a man


the only time i ever heard him plead

the story of my life

what i am

the bet

in the poker game of life

which is where i seem to be

someone makes a bet

which someone usually calls

by placing their bet on the table or floor or alley way


the guy in charge

says  "shoot  -  your faded"



then we get to see

who has the best hand


actually "shoot  -  your faded"

is what they say in crap games


seems like in poker they say "call"

jail

i don't even think guilty people

deserve jail


and i don't envy

those that work there

sex

i don't need sex to be here

if i did

i wouldn't be here


i like sex very much

truth

to face truth

we must face our self

i was there yesterday

not everyone can say that

and speak truthfully


life has its way

in spite of me

or perhaps because of me


life is a great mystery to me

which i still embrace

as i can

marks

the marks on us

never go away

until we aknowledge them


and then they return

to the nothing they are

the way of life

some call our situation

the path of life


whatever


sometimes we are not

all in the same place in life


but we are always

on the same path


all roads lead home


seemed pretty cool to me


and me the hot fellow

that liked being here

government

never had much interest in government

mostly it took some of my money

without asking


once i was drafted into the army

without asking


the government does what governments do


i just be me

and get by as i can


as of this moment

am still here


and have no idea

what all this means


some of us are

creatures of excess


some of us are

creatures of limited excess


which seems to be a clue

to me


sharing may be the answer

to our problem


our stuff is of limited value


our self is all we actually have


or more likely

our self has us


facing our self

seems the only valid option

to me


i still take this human situation

i am currently experiencing

as the only valid option

if i am going to be me

which i seem to be

to me


sometimes i drink beer

and be silly

primitive

some people speak of primitive

as old and out of date


i often feel primitive

and sometimes old and out of date


seems ok to me

the past

some people believe in the past

some people dream of the past


life is all ways now

our situation

if we can't face our self

and our situation

how will we ever deal

with our situation


that would mean

our situation will

deal with us


which seems backwards to me


and besides not being much fun

pretty much a waste of life

which don't seem all that great either

we have a problem

we have a serious problem in the world today

we are a serious problem in the world today

as children we were taught how to perform

how to act

now  -  instead of living  -  we are acting

playing roles

in order to sustain the role we must repress
 our true nature

which means we are repressing life

and living a lie

experiencing ourselves as a lie

lying both to ourselves and others

we are now several generations deep in
 untrue existence

the parents are playing roles

the teachers are playing roles

the preachers are playing roles

we play roles with each other

with our friends

with our partners

with the children

with our selves

this role we are playing  -  this lie we are
 perpetuating on ourselves is stifling the

truth of our existence

we are creating barriers between the role we
 are playing (who we believe ourselves to be)

and who we actually are

this leads to great conflict and pressure
  inside ourselves

this pressure is making us sick and mean

this separation from the truth of ourselves
 (what life created us to be) makes us afraid

the sickness and fear and violence in our world
 is a product of our unnatural existence

and will continue to grow until we give up
 our unnatural existence

we are are emotionally constipated  -  constantly
frustrated

the conflict between our true nature and
 the role we are playing (the lie we are living)
 leaves us no peace

the thought processes we involve ourselves
 in are constantly seeking escape from the
 pain and fear and conflict and frustration

this leads to confusion

we create an endless stream of ideas of what
 we think will make us happy

we live in almost constant torment and need

all the time trying to act like we're not

we are taught to take control  -  when it
 was control that got us this way

life is not to be controlled

life is to be lived

to be lived and experienced openly and fully

we repress life and expect to be happy

that is insane thinking

the creatures in zoos are not happy

they were meant to be free  -  living their lives
 and taking their chances in a free environment

thinking that we are ok when we're not
 (so called positive thinking) will only make
 our situation worse

more lies won't help

it will only lead to more disappointment and
 frustration

the truth of our existence is the only hope
 we have

life is sacred

we must respect and cherish the life within

and the life without

all life is one life

life is complete within it's self

life is whole

life is holy

as long as the truth of life  -  the truth
 of our existence  -  is to be avoided
 and denied  -  we will suffer

the truth of all existence must be
 respected and cherished

all life must be respected

the life within

and the life without

all is one life

the seperation is an illusion  -  a product of
 our self imposed isolation from life

from the truth of our existence

from the truth of all existence

we ask doctors to fix us  -  and they can't

although their drugs can dull the pain  -
 which is just a further separation from
 our truth  -  not a cure

this just makes our situation worse

we seek to escape ourselves when we
 need to embrace ourselves

to accept ourselves as we are

to experience ourselves as we are

which we could have been permitted to do
 as children

but we were trained and programed to
 act a certain way

we imitated others who were acting out
 their roles (or lies)

each passing generation has gotten farther
 from the truth of life

which is eternal love for all life

we have learned to seperate ourselves
 from life and we suffer lack and longing

we feel alone and afraid without our
 distractions  -  our activities  -  our
 toys  -  our companions

we fear being alone with our self

we seek love as we reject life

we want another to give us love when
 we were born to be a source of life

which is love

there is no price for life

life is forever free

but humankind has created a price
 which must now be paid

the lie must be allowed to cease to be

it must not be nourished by us anymore
 for us to live

and for most of us the lie is all we've
 ever known

it's who we believe we are

belief is not real knowledge of what
 actually is

theories of who we are and who we should
 be only mislead and distract us from truth

truth exists

life is

we must be open in heart and mind and
 body to the truth of our existence

to the truth of all existence

only life can heal us

we can't fix ourselves

life has it's natural way

life is within us

we are life

we are resisting life

and paying a terrible price for this resistance

life is a gift

when a leg is what we call "asleep" from
 lack of circulation

the process of "waking up" can be painful

now pain is the price we often must pay
 as we "wake up" to the truth

today is as easy as it's going to be

with each passing day living the lie
 the price (pressure) gets greater

and there is no escape from life

only isolation is possible

life is eternal

we can live life fully

or cling to our dishonest performance
 and suffer

we only suffer because we have forgotten
 how to live

we need only be willing to live  -  to live

as long as we blame others for how we
 feel and seek from others what we think
 we want or need we will continue to suffer

and inflict more pain and suffering on
 ourselves and those we call others

there is only one life

one eternal life

one eternal truth

all hopes and beliefs must be surrendered

eternal truth can only be accepted as it
 actually is

we are all children of life

only life can heal us

life is free and so are we

as long as we continue to choose for
 our petty little ego selves we will suffer

we must be open to life to live

forever open

forever free

such is the way of life

our selfish deprived little isolated selves
 cannot create love and happiness

we can only accept or reject them


i orginally wrote those words

somewhere back in the 80's

seems to me

winning and losing

life is not about winning or losing

life is about being


when someone wins

someone has to lose

they are two sides

of the same thing

one leads to the other


life is about being

and there is only one life

which is the source of all


all that number stuff

is a figment of the human imagination

and used mostly to divided and control


none of us are qualified to control life

but we sure have tried

and made a big mess of our little world

and our selves

life

life seems to be made up of

being and seeing

which seem to have so little in common


that may not be true

speaking

there are those

that speak of life

and those that do not speak


it is important

not to take speaking too seriously


there are those that speak of life

and those that just be life

as is their nature


most of us never heard or read much

about them

salute

a salute is a curse

unless you are saluting every one

words

mostly just noises we make

to convey some meaning

but mostly to get what we want from others


those that can actually hear

don't really speak any language

but they know how to listen

others

without others we a nothing

and go back to being

what we were

which is nothing

and forever sacred


we are from nothing

which is also the only potential

from which to be

all that could ever be


welcome to my world

my friend

if you are willing

serious

never knew many serious people

but a few


not sure why they notice me

i'm a clown


there was one serious clown

back in there

don't remember his name


he walked around

with no sound

and swept up a ball of light

on the ground

as i recall


mostly i just watch

and be my self as i can

and wait and see

how this silliness

all works out


which is as close

to feeling secure

as i ever got

what people think

i don't really give a shit

what people think


that's their business

and none of mine

control

the most ignorant idea

humans have ever come up with


and by far

the most dangerious


we humans just ain't qualified

to control life


life is the gift

which we so abuse


this is what i see

and it brings me no joy


life is only real

when life is free


and no one in their right mind

ever wanted to live in the zoo


the so called animals

did not create zoos

so called educated humans did

a fine fix

it's a fine fix

i got my self into this time


at least this fix

is worth doing

some body loves me

an old song i once knew


some body loves me

i wonder who

i never knew

it was me


it is the clue

self

if you can't face your self

life becomes a place of endless torment


and sometimes when you face your self

when facing some one in torment


but then only for a while

you

i learned a long time ago

you is just another word for me


it's a pisces thing

and sometimes cancer


and once in a while

even scorpio

a secret service

some girls are seeking

a secret service


i usually tell them

those guys are down the hall


and sometimes let them

figure that out for their self


but not all ways


all ways is every thing and all time

still just wonder about that stuff

as i can

humility

what so many fear

in our time


but not all


there are so many imitations

to be found

they just seem to chase us around


as do mosquitoes

after the spring rains


and the situation gets real excessive

around election times

mothers weep

mothers weep
we live like sheep
the herd is all we know

live for pride
the child do hide
and act is all we show

to live the truth
would save our youth
but that is long forgotten

the sands of time
are oh so fine
inside we're slowly rottin'

the gift of life is one for all
the wise man knows it's so

yet in our greed and desperate need
it isn't love we show

our wants become our only guide
get it all  -  oh how we tried

yet in the end we all have sinned
from truth we learned to hide

time and time again

time and time again
we face the dawn and know not when
the end of all this grief and pain
will come and wash the bloody stain

from this world that suffers greatly
and even more from events lately
killing never leads to peace
oh -  will the violence never cease

peace will only come through kindness
vengence only leads to blindness
the rage and pain we choose to feel
will never let the old wounds heal

until we learn to serve all others
until we see that all are brothers

everyone claims to be right
everyone claims to know what's right
so few question their self
or what they call their selves

most need outside support
so much is wrong


kind is a clue

secret

those that seek to walk

the path of secrets

have lost the way


life is no secret


life seems to me to be

some sort of wild celebration

of lifes truth


in the world i walk around in

not so many seem to be

celebrating their self


and the sadness is sometimes almost overwhelming

and some other stuff i won't mention tonight

prisoner

most modern people

that i have known

(not all)

are the victim

of their own will

and therefore its slave


from there on

life gets pretty tricky

and not much fun at all


all no longer exists

to such people


and yet all

still exists


pretty and tricky are clues


and bait becomes very popular


and most that become bait

don't realize what they are doing


most capitalists ain't very cute

and use money for bait


which has become

the latest substitute for life


and the girls have been regulated

to third or fourth class life


but not to me

or my friend

what we don't have

those that focus all their attention

on what they don't have

rarely have any perception

of what they do have


and even less

of who they are

hiding

people hide for different reasons


some people are hiding from others


some people are hiding their self from others


two very different situations


but it all pretty much works out the same

fireworks

fireworks are booming

life is a looming

where do we go from here


wherever is next

life does have it's way

we humans

we have sought the top of our self

and most often found the bottom


while self is quietly within


not so quietly sometimes


perhaps because of all the noise

independence day

most people i have seen

don't seek independence


most people i have seen

seek what they want


which is the master they serve


so few seek the great weaning

winning

only those that are trying to win

can lose

training

when we train children

from a very early age

we deprive them

of the opportunity

to discover their self


the word training

is from the word train

which is a long line for things

a chain of objects

pulled in one direction

by an outside force

finally

i have nothing to say


that may not be true


sometimes i wonder

about the mistakes

i have made


some of them

were for showing up


for which

i have no apology


sometimes we have to try

to get a girls attention

as is our nature

being

if you can't be who you are

be where you are

that's a start


which happens to be

the opposite of a stop

veteran

am a veteran

of the united states army


never shot anybody

or got shot at


did wear the uniform

for a while


i didn't ask for it

looking

i looked at my eyes tonight

in the mirror


they looked like

two empty

holes in the sand


but my hair didn't look too bad

love and life

love and life

are one


neither can exist

without the other


some people call

this thing we live in

life


mostly i call it

shameful behaviour


on my better days


i know that sounds judgmental

which i have no wish to be


but that is what i see

and have no wish to lie