awareness

awareness is not a product of thought

confusion and cahos are products of thought

here in the land of the thinkers

life

life is a simple process of becoming

no thought is required

thought is anti life


thought is trying to figure it out

and there ain't no it

unless you thing there is

and then you are lost in thought

and not aware of lifes actuality

if the male has no fire

the children will be autistic


and that statistic is up to one in eighty-eight


which is pretty scary

if your me


i was pretty spooked

at one in every few thousand

woman

a little book i am reading

for a dollar i will send you a copy

that will about cover shipping and handeling

the book is free


it is a small book

but really cute


 two dollars would be better

cause one dollar and fifty-seven cents

is so hard to calculate


i would have picked

simple and easy

as my middle name

but i got stuck with albert

lawyers

some wind up prosecuting people for the law

some wind up defending people from the law

but the law is always the point of the game


i am a big fan of people


not so much of laws

woman

a little booklet i am reading


this little book is not speaking about woman


this little book is speaking to woman

old fashioned houses

old fashioned houses
and trees all around
no rumble of engines
a beautiful sound

i stand here in silence
my heart filled with joy
for i had not seen it
since i was a boy

most don't remember
it just slips away
but i can't forget where
i learned how to play

the summers in clover
that filled me with glee
the house that we built
in that old maple tree

the girls of my youth
they were gentle and kind
the peace of those days
is now hard to find

it don't seem to me
that we've made the world better
all mapped out and
planned to the letter

perhaps we'll remember
in time what we lost
what we tore down and changed
at a terrible cost

once life was free and
we all breathed clean air
nature was loved and
we knew how to pair

but that was another time

here

have been here for a while

and a few other places

and perhaps a few other places yet to be

my opinion

i have an opinion about how life should be

as much a i don't like admitting to that situation

but i sure as hell do not want a vote

as to what life should be

this life

this life

is the life that i once lived

and sometime i still do

every day

every day is different

and so many wish to make every day

the same as some other day

which is the one thing life rarely does

a victim of my nature

how it feels to be me

and i certainly don't mean to complain

trishna

recently watched a movie called trishna


it made me cry again

doing

so many today seem to think

life is in the doing


life is actually in the being

anger

a piece of advice

it is not recommended

to share your anger with those you dislike

playing games with the girl

i don't mind playing games with the girl

she is cute

and she likes me


i am a very lucky guy

the naked woman

all i ever found interesting about this little world


and what the hell is actually going on here


i have wondered if hell is actually a real word


or actually


or here

if you be with eight degrees aries

tomarrow is going to be a big day

a lost world

what i see


when so many are just willing to hope

and so unwilling to deal with how one really is


seperation feels like security

yet i only see seperation as the great divide

feminism

i was born just in time for feminism

my sister was a leader


that crap never really worked for me

my wife is not quite sure what to to


i have been called unmanageable

by more than a couple of girls


i was just being me

my time

my time is not for sale

although i have rented it out a few times

capitalism

a female situation

no man would have any thing to do with such a project

unless he no longer had any other way to feed his family

the natural world

we humans are becoming less and less in touch with the natural world

the situation makes me sad sometimes

and sometimes makes me mad


we humans are a part of the natural world

and we are loosing touch with our self


so many live in the land of electronic toys

which only stimulate our imaginations

and is not much of a human experience

courage

is a blind mans bluff

or a womans

and of no value at all

hateing me

is not all that hard to do

i have done that a little my self

life does not actually exist

but lifes creations exist

and here we are

another clue


so many seek answers

as i once did

i never knew a brave girl

but i have known a few

who stood up and faced their day


their is plural

and a clue

i can deleat the blog

make filmhill.com go away

anyone have a suggestion

an old vietnam war movie i once saw

a guy was the last man left

and on the radio to the head quarters


he was about to be over run

and called in an air strike on his position


i have wondered about that option


but not today

my wife

she gives me the finger sometimes

but she still likes me


i am far luckier than most guys

filmhill.com keeps stalking me

i do not see that as very nice

had catarac surgery last month

the last time i could see like this

i was not seeing

i was seeking

not sure what to say tonight

perhaps speak of us humans being the stupidest creatures on the plant we call earth


and i didn't misspell plant


the earth is a garden

and we humans are currently a threat

to the earths existance


such is what i see

acceptance

those that can not accept their self

will not be able to accept your acceptence

of their self

this world

for a while i found this world interesting


not so much here lately


all this rejection

is becoming somewhat overwhelming

seperate

that word is just an illusion


and a scared souls hope


scared and scar with ed added

seem to be the same word

to me

one

to be one is the only way

to be two is to have lost the way

and three leads to the endless pit

the girl

when it's the yard or the television

the girl usually picks the yard


when it's me or  the television

she often picks the television


sometimes i wonder about me


am going to bed now

perhaps to sleep


i'm tired

and a little bit wore out


being an american human being

has been hard for me

perhaps the ugliest word of all


all is the clue

courage

a false god as i have said


what the insecure hide behind


had more to say about that situation

but i forgot

security

just another word for prison


and the sirens keep running

from one disaster to the next

freedom

not actually permitted in a governed society

but that word sure gets thrown around in this country

telling me what to do

the christian tells me how life is

and what i should

as does the muslem

and the capitalist

and all the other so called teachers

and my mother

and my sister

and i have experienced a lot of disapproval

because i have to find my own way

and most of those people aren't helping

no one is exactly like me

making peace with that situation has taken some time

the human race

i don't like to race

envy

a very dangerious game to play

such is a form of self rejection

telling people what they should be

telling people what the should be

especially children

is a great crime against life

english

the only language i speak

and not all that great at that one

religions and capitalism

the greatest curses of our time

and a few earlier times


they just want to sell me something

and i ain't buying into that stuff

not knowing

most seem to be afraid of not knowing

even ashamed

yet not knowing is a part of life as we know it


open to all can be difficult at first

as most things are

until our attitude improves about the unknown


we so cling to the known

yet the unknown is far greater than our little selves


some christian guy just commented

am not sure why a religious guy would speak to me


maybe he wanted to save me


i already tried that


life is forever free


the religions i have known have a price

which i have not been willing to pay

controling life

only and idiot would attempt such things

we humans ain't all that bright

no one is qualified to control life


life does not control it's self

although it does sometime appear that way

the industrial age

if everyone was like me

there would not have been an industrial age


only sexually repressed people would do such things

all that energy has to go somewhere


sexual repression also leads to obiesity

and some other wierd stuff

some of them acts of violence

hate

that is how we make someone special to us

the naked girl

most of the males are afraid of the naked girl

as are most of the girls


me not so much

but a little sometimes


i stand by the girl

as i can

the longing

life tried to spare me the longing


and then i met a girl

question

if you really want to ask someone a question


ask them why they are afraid


and then tell me what you herd


or perhaps heard

being born

requires a willingness to be

with every breath

and every moment