i live in oklahoma

they call it a bible belt state

or a christian state

but they put people in cages more than most

and want some others killed sometimes

legally

what ever that means

and forgiveness is in short supply


i read what jesus said

and it wasn't much like that

if i am afraid to face my self

i will never be able to face you


which is the rest of my self


and rest appeals to me in our time

life

one thing i have learned

life is not under our control

there is no way to know

where we will be tomorrow


we will just have to wait and see


yet so many seek to predict that situation

and predict what we should do


being is a lot different than that stuff

why can't we be nice to each other

because we are so narrow in our scope

we like what we consider good

and do not like what we consider not good

and life is all that is

all that we see and do not see

is who and what we are


we sure do complain a lot

not much fun to be had there

and no happiness at all


to complain is to poison ones self

and all the rest of us

and our little world

if anyone wins

the rest of us lose

fighting

a stupid word


we just wind up fighting ourselves

a human being

that used to be so simple

before the age of endless lies

LS/MFT

not many out there know what that means anymore

am one of the last lucky strike smokers

escape

so many seek escape in our time

and then there is none

and life is all that is


and even what is not


life leaves nothing out

fear

just something else to face


running from our self

just gets us no where

which is no fun to be


isolation is a stone killer

and life is all that is

the stillness

sometimes the stillness

can be so loud

if we know how to here


and i didn't misspell here

everyone

everyone and every thing

is my friend


i forgot that for a while


as have a few of my friends

a problem

i am the only problem i can have


if i see you as a problem

i am lost

resistance

so much of that in our time

and we are only resisting our selves



and we were taught to

by those that weren't willing to understand

sleeping beauty

there are so many in our time

and dreams are such a torment

all others

what we are


and our response to others

is also what we are

worship

if we could worship each other

and our self

instead some idea of a god we don't know

we would perhaps be better off


english is the only language i speak in our time

but i feel in lots of ways

the reminders

what some get to be


i can't forget but i don't remember what

a line from a leonard cohen song

that reminded me of me

winning

one has to lose

to know what winning actually is


have forgotten what i was about to say

but it was about the beautiful losers

and how gracefully they lost

proud

was proud of my self for a while

not so much any more


was afraid of me for a while

not so much of you any more


we are the same

and rejection is no longer

my middle name

if i am scared

i instantly become dangerous


i instantly become a fan

of self preservation

which is taxidermy


not sure why i would want to be a stuffed animal

unless i was terribly confused

i am scared of my self

the only reason

for any one

to be scared of me

what should i do

i only asked one person that question

and his response to that question was

i don't know

your going to have to work that out for your self boy


i never asked any one else that question

although i did wonder for a while

life and nature

life and nature are a process of becoming

and in our time

and for a long time

humans have been interfering with them a lot

and i am in a nice mood tonight

but this is still a great crime


we no longer harmonize with life and nature

we conquer and reshape life and nature

as we think life and nature should be

mostly for our own profit

and to our certain down fall

because no one is that smart or qualified


life and nature are no longer cherished

and we are the cause

and so damn proud of ourselves

and our ugly and toxic creations


life is our creator

and nature our mother

and they and we are one

lies

there are the lies others have told us

and the lies we told our self

enforcing the rules

some people just don't fit in with that

which is the gift of our time


some of us just could not be what we were told to be

and some of us were not told anything

some people

wind up liking to enforce the rules

that have been enforced on them

but not all

thinking

thinking is a dead mans dream

said that earlier

and felt like saying that again

the moon

a dead planet

and no longer a source of light

but it still reflects the light

which is it's current assignment


once i was of the astrologers

and once i was of the warriors

and some other stuff before that

and after that


thinking is a dead mans dream


my only friend

doesn't know what to think

making a mountain out of a mole hill

ain't very bright

but making a mole hill out of a mountain

ain't very bright either

wanting

the greatest curse of all

as is not wanting

religions

one reason i don't care much for religions

is we all wind up being on separate teams

when actually we are all on the same team

when we are just being


being is not a passive state

although it can be


our mind can only be clear

when we are being


life and awareness of life is a gift

being

trying is not being

as is thinking


and all our training and conditioning

all our attitudes and fears and hopes

are not being


and seeking anything outside your self

is also not being


being is life without effort or resistance



and pride is a stone killer

am lost and alone

and not sure what to do about that


seems a pretty dumb thing to do


being is the point of life

look what we have done

to our sacred little world

and to our fellow creatures

and to our selves

i do love you

in what ever way i can

accepting you

perhaps the only thing i have gotten right


and the only thing i have gotten wrong

the one thing you should never do

is take me seriously

and the other thing you should never do

is take yourself seriously


not sure if that is decent advice

but is where i am tonight

what do you do

when you don't know what  to do

you just be yourself

and see what comes next


i have found that can be a problem

if your believe in problems


am not much of a fan of that crap


think i will go away now

the ability to influence people

saw an old movie about that tonight

it made me wonder about me


i may just shut up


it seems i should


people deserve themselves

the silent man

perhaps we should follow the silent man



perhaps we should not follow

good and bad

when the idea of being a good person came into being

people came to accept some parts of themselves

and reject some parts of themselves

and this duality created an evil twin

and wholeness was lost

we are all the best and worst of everything

but to accept the part we think is good

and reject the parts we consider bad

puts us in conflict with ourselves

and conflict with ourselves

puts us in conflict with those we call others

and great conflict is upon the land


we are all that we are

and rejection of the truth is a great crime

and the price is what we see today


and the cure is to cease rejecting ourselves

to be governed

anyone that wishes to be governed

wishes to be a slave

of those who wish to govern

who i call control freaks

on my kinder days


anger and violence and war

don't make the world a better place

and neither does capitalism

has been my experience

or any other ism or idea we come up with


ideas are figments of our imagination

and of no value at all to life


awareness is not a product of thought

confusion and conflict are products of thought

winning

if anyone wins

we all lose

getting your ass kicked

what many football players and fans experienced today

life is the winner and the loser

the kicker and the kicked


all is what we are


even that jerk you don't like

and the jerk that you do


life is me

and them

and now

and ever more

the girl

sometimes the girl bees with me

sometimes she don't

all

you are all

i am all

we are all that is

and is not

serious

as soon as we take our self seriously

we are lost

winning and losing

so many today

think that winning is the only point of the game


and i am the guy that says

winning is far more dangerous than losing

if your me


and maybe even you


life never wins or loses

life is


you only win if you think you do

and you only lose if you think you do


life is the great affirmation

and as they say sometimes

i am


i was raised on football

and knocked down by life


don't take my self so seriously anymore

most of the time


serious is not a very fun mistake to make

hey bea

you still out there


terri still remembers meeting you


and she liked you

sometimes i choose

sometime life chooses


seems fair to me

and the great trick is

loving all that is


don't much like admitting it

but am still working on that


or perhaps that is still working on me


learning is a strange mistress

and i am a lover of girls


as i can

i am here to support you

and i am also here

to tell you you don't need me to support you

the girl is scared of me

but actually she is not

she is scared of herself

and blaming that stuff on me


i didn't do what she said i did

but i did do something

wanting me

now that's a curse i have faced


and a couple of girls i knew


me and them two girls

didn't get much out of that


this and that is just bullshit


we are all that is

woman

i no longer want anything from woman


but i have wondered

if she still had anything for me


wondering seemed kind of natural at the time

authority

there is natural authority

and there are those who claim authority


authority can not be claimed

authority can only be affirmed


and so many lie in our time


and the children pay the price


and lewis is not pleased


and sometimes pissed off as hell


and he can't seem to help it


still much work to be done

control freaks

people that learn to control themselves

become control freaks

and expect other to control themselves

them selves is the clue

shield

some have shielded themselves from what is happening here

and some have just turned away


the latter has been my attempted escape

yes and no

yes is willing

no is unwilling

such is how we divide ourselves in our time

open to all

am pretty sure

that will turn out to be

the scariest thing i ever said to myself


have usually been pretty selective

need

we only seem to need

and only for a while

no ledge

no thing to stand on

courage

a false god

as is knowledge

all

what we are

kindness

the was of sharing

kindness

a way of sharing

knowing

the one that knows

has not concept of knowing


which is what i saw here


am not sure what seeing means

help

not sure what that word means

how can life know its self

how can life know its self

if it can not face its self


it is the clue

as are we all

mean

there is meaning as in meaning

and meaning in mean


they are both bullshit

and of no value at all


as is bullshit


i have met the head bullshitter

and he was me


perhaps there is still more


perhaps still more is a clue


perhaps i should take no action

mean

life is often harsh

but have not found life mean


did find a couple of peep hole that were


survivors just do what they can

meaning

what if life has no meaning

means

am not sure what means means

losing

and perhaps losing

is the gift


aries is i do

leo is i am

sag is i was


pisces is where we meet


once i was of the astrologers

and once of the warriors

the fighting men


now i am just here

and not so sure what all this means

am not quite sure what it means to win

but don't much care for losing

we the people

we haven't asserted our authority much lately

and the powers that be

that are in control in the current time

hope we have forgotten how to

God

all that is


the only way i can do that word

war

war is a disease

a contagious disease


no one wins a war

and we all pay a terrible price


anger is a form of self pity

and greed perhaps the greatest curse off all

the baby with no arms

for the child

if no one touches them

or bees with them


if no one bees with you as a child

it is very hard to be with another


to be with anyone


to be with self


but it's not impossible

if life doesn't come back

if life doesn't come back to me

i will just wither away

winning and losing

if no one wanted to win

no one would have to lose

to keep the balance

one way i can tell

one way i can tell if people are dealing with their self

is if i don't have to feel it

or deal with it

or have to be it for them to like me

hell

hell isn't some place you are sent

after doing some thing that wasn't good

or godly


hell is a situation with ones self

when the truth of one's self

can not be faced


and those people selling hell




not quite sure what to say about that situation

a human being

to be a human being

one must recognized ones strengths

and ones weaknesses

and complete the journey

without doing any harm


that is what i see

modern marvels

all these modern marvels

are the curse of our time

is what i see

conflict

our conflicts with others

are because of the conflicts within our selves


we blame others for our anger

when we are the source of our anger


our fears and anxieties

are created by our thoughts


awareness is not a product of thought


we seek what we want

we seek to avoid what we don't want

and become oblivious to what actually is


being is the only peace


most of us are lost in thought

being a girl

a tough draw

in our time


but all draws are tough in our time

here in the land of the unnatural act


act is the clue


we are born to affirm life

yet so many deny who they are

and claim to be something else


and some just cry


as i have so often

the problem

most seem to think the problem

is our relationship with others

the problem is our relationship with our self