going over the cliff

consider that a better option

than the two big dogs making a deal

for the carcass which is us


when two dogs are fighting over a bone

don't seem to think the bone is pulling for either dog


if either dog wins

the bone looses


and currently

you and i are the bone

we the people


they milk us like dairy cows

and treat us like shit


what is a girl to do


do you think america treats people well

or most of the other people i have met


there have been very few


it is very hard to be brave

when one has been so afraid

has been my experience

the savage

the savage lives in every man

and every woman

as does the great kindness

they cannot exist without each other


another clue


pride and shame are two sides of the same nickel

to seek one and reject the other is to be lost


the brave man is still afraid

which is why he is brave


courage is a false god

as is wealth

and power

and most of the stuff we cherish in our time


many today seek knowledge

which doesn't actually exist

although so many claim to possess it


it is a really stupid word

awareness is not a product of thought

all this crap we see in our time

is a product of thought


we have lost sight of the essence of life

and each other

and our selves

it seems to me


recognizing the loss

is the first step to regaining what we have lost


life is an affirmation

and without loss

no matter how hard we try to lose

comic books

once a long time ago i liked comic books

until i realized how dangerous and misleading they were


and now we have a video game world


even war is fought from a console


there was a time we bled

and knew what war was

and how terrible and cruel war was


that was a bloody time for me

and a long long time ago

before i came to be in this skin

moments in time

what we seem to be

if your me

a poem for christmas

praises sing and night bells ring

all around this precious thing

places and faces and midnight races

all the while the nomad braces

more and more the onslaught rages

in the wind all ripped out pages

find me now  -  oh lord of love

we seek and pray thy long lost dove

will peace upon the land yet stand

must heart still face the burning brand

on and on the rage does rush

the bonds of shame a mighty crush

still the flame  -  it has not died

tho bled and fed on brutal pride

so far we hold the beach head slightly 

no longer bold and brave and mighty

battered troops once fresh and rested

now reel and waver  -  nearly bested

the hope that once so filled the heart

still lives  -  yet in the smallest part

tho battered  -  scarred and mortal weary

at dawn we stand to face the fury

no longer brave we could be called

but no  -  by god we shall not fall

to twisted minds that rule this land

with whip and chain in brutal hand

we will not yield the sacred trust

nor feed upon the moldy crust

which the beast does offer gladly

all inflamed and grinning madly

tho tattered rag  -  thy flag once proud

and bleeding feet  -  tho head un-bowed

we face the dawn with shining faces
of doubt and fear there are no traces

for in thy time each heart does know

as life moves on its sacred flow

the soul of man will seek thy light

and move beyond this endless night

the whisper that i dimly hear

does speak that time may yet be near

oh yes  -  the force does feel some stronger

the soul cries out  -  not too much longer

the love long sought by this small band

does in truth feel near at hand

the stirring in the heart grows stronger

raging pain i feel no longer

the mission tho still unfulfilled 

will be complete as thou has willed

and light yet fill the hardest heart

thy love shall reach the darkest part

in time the sorrows past will fade

and truth regain this world you made

for as the story does unfold

eternal love each heart will hold 

i wish you and yours well

merry christmas 

peace and harmony to all beings

that includes the creatures of the field

capitalism

another form of slavery


am no fan of that crap


or the popular religions of our time


slavery is a crime against life

the oklahoma gazette

i worked there for a while


that was a while back

life as a man

life has been a brave man

and a cowardly man

and so very much in between


life has been a brave woman

and a cowardly woman

and so very much in between


life has been a brave child

and a cowardly child

and so very much in between


and all that is what we are

and so much more


so it seems to me

the naked woman

that is against the law in our time


once it was a celebration


but that was a long time ago


i never quite forgot

we are all indestructible

and at the same time so fragile


most of us find our preferences

and develop our prejudices

and hell starts all over again for us

letting go of that which is past

is the only way to truly live


throwing the past away is not the same


the present must be embraced in it's own time

and released as it's time passes

as each day does

and we all do in our own time

rejection

the greatest curse of all

surrender is a curse word in our time

not so much to me

if we cannot surrender to our selves

we will never get to be who we are

my job

my job is not to encourage people to get what they want

my job is to encourage people to be as they are

as they were born to be

as life made them

and what we all want

has got nothing to do with where we are

or who we are

and will just make us crazy

if we make wanting the goal of the game


being

now that is a real word

to escape the training and programing

to escape that crap

and retain our essence

seems the only valid reason for our existence


not sure how to survive being dumber than dirt


being just a little man

who is not sure what to do


not sure why i wanted to be sure


seems kind of silly to me now


no longer feel like sure even exists


security is a false god


freedom knows nothing of security

which can only restrict it's own freedom

killing

so many are willing to kill

or have someone do it for them


not such a good sign

it seems to me


but i don't claim to know what is best for us

or what we should do


my best guess would be

be who you are

and let life work all this stuff out


and if you can't be who you are

be where you are

we have to start somewhere

if we are still capable of being


being has nothing to do with thinking

which is just attempted escape from what is

answers

i have no answers

i have only questions


life is the answer


and without us

life is nothing


and is we take ourselves seriously

all is lost


all is what we are

deep water

what i sometimes call my wife


i am called shallow water


and sometimes little voice


to speak of truth is a great crime in our time


we have been trained to support the great crime

and am no fan of training

which is a crime against life

and the freedom of all

Noam Chomsky

consider him a friend

although we have never met


sent him an email once


and he responded

when no one else did

strangers in the night

a song i heard a long time ago


which still has meaning for me


and still don't know what all this means

file://localhost/Users/lewishayes/Pictures/iPhoto%20Library/Originals/2003/10/DSCN0078.JPG


am not sure what i have just done

which is the story of my life

a naked woman

probably the only picture worth taking

america

america keeps telling me i get a vote


life keeps telling me that i don't


i can be myself

or i can pass

and find what passing leads to

a cowardly little bastard

what so few of us will admit to any more


but what we are so qualified to be


and all this wasn't actually our fault


but we were born here

would fight to the death

for a girls right to be who she is


am pretty sure that is true


and i am not a brave person


actually i am a natural born coward

and really devoted to self preservation

which is why i am so small

courage

a little mans god


life does not require courage


life requires willingness

to be who and what we are

as life made us


everyone wants a vote


it don't seem to me

that life works like that


i can be myself as life made me

or i can be a lie

to please a bunch of people

who don't really like me all that much

today is my birthday again

68 years later

and the only point of the game

is still to face my self

my life

my life is an emergency


which i have never quite understood

a vote

life don't give me a vote

and i no longer seek a vote

cause we don't get to vote

we just get to be


and so far i am willing

smoking and drinking

have always liked smoking and drinking


i cut back on that stuff


i still sometimes wonder why

the little drummer boy

i get to be that again

but it is my birthday

war

nobody wins a war

has been my experience

life

life is a universal experience

if one is completely open to life


most of us accept some expressions of life

and reject other expressions of life

we accept some parts of our self

and reject other parts or our self

depending on our conditioning


which is less than a universal experience


and the suffering and the killing goes on

don't get personal

that is about all i have heard since i have been here


and getting personal

is all i ever dreamed of


and dreams are the great escape

and to escape life

would be the greatest curse of all

war

as long as we are willing to do that crap

there will be no peace


mostly the people that start wars

don't fight them

me and you do


and we don't have to do that

naked woman

the only hope we have

and hope is of no value at all

oklahoma city

is like london tonight

being with the body

what it means to be human

or any other thing

pearl harbor

12-7-41

my father was there that day


i was not here yet


am no fan of war

some part of me remembers

am going to sell this house in a while

have bought another one

fear

if you can't tell me what  you are afraid of

you will never be able to live


to run from our fears

and to give them power over us

is to abandon our lives

i am called little courage

by those that know me

and a few who don't

unless i win the lottery

i should stay within the order

and even if i win the lottery

i should still stay within the order

the land of crippled children

the land that i was born

the littlest sound that i am

is probably the most that i can be

my signature

is much less than i am


i still miss smoking and drinking sometimes

and i am still smoking and drinking

life

life is more than me and you

life is all that we are


and quite a bit more

so life seems to me

single men

only single men

are into smoking and drinking

has been my experience


smoking and drinking has been mostly my experience

politicians

as long as politicians make the laws

which are recommended by those that finance them

we are pretty much left out of the loop as they say

we the people


mostly politicians mostly protect their own position

and we the people get very little consideration

unless we decide not to vote for them

cause then a new crew takes over


management is a sad word

to be on the under side of


no one in their right mind

would be wished to be managed by another


freedom is much more than a word

freedom is also a responsibility

to those that respect the gift

making love

there was a time that phrase applied to human sexuality

but that was a long time ago


religions pretty much put a stop to that situation

and capitalists thrived in that environment

of emasculated men

and subjugated women


as did prostitution and pornography

and child abuse

and a lot of other stuff i don't like talking about


only an insecure male

would subjugate a female


no man would do such a thing

to a female

or anyone else

once i viewed this as my life

until i realized it was our life


a girl i know reminded me of that


and a guy i know

was standing there watching

once i was a fan of glory

not so much any more

the hunger for glory

has brought great suffering to this plane

permanence

those that seek such things

have no concept of what life is

12-21-2012

i don't see an end


i do see change

which is what life forever does

freedom

modern people have no concept of freedom

in their world

every thing has a price

as things often do


but i am not a thing

and neither are you

holding hands

there is a time to hold hands with our self

and a time to hold hands with the other


which some times is me

there is the wanting plane

and the not wanting plane


and the plane of







words elude me

which don't happen all that often

me my self and eye

some people want to be good

and in our time some people want to be bad


good and bad actually have nothing to do

with what actually is


those are just opinions

what we choose to believe

when we don't actually know

and are too afraid to admit our situation


so they just guess


it is pin the tail on the donkey

all over again

weaning us

still wonder about that stuff

courage

courage was my grand mothers name


my name was little boy

the only way to sell a house

would be to say

yes you can have the house


you can pay me what the house is worth to you


maybe not the only way

but probably the most fun

if you were me


am not much for haggling over prices

when life is so priceless

i am happy to be here

and happy to see you


that would have to be

it seems to me

the happiest feeling of all

some still wonder what is the worst that can happen

so few realize

that it already has

when in doubt

be your self

if you make the situation worse for any one

you make it worse for all the rest of us

including your self

cause that is what the rest of us is

time

time is a figment of human imagination

and a serious miss under standing

don't run

don't run away from any thing

just walk away

when it is time

having a script for your life

having a script for your life

before you have lived your life

is one way to miss out on your life


there are others

me and my friend

we are full time guys

but we were born in the time

of part time girls


and a new time is upon us

that remains to be seen


sex every third tuesday in june

just don't seem natural to me


to me it seems regulated

and am no fan of rules and regulations


that crap restricts freedom of expression


scheduling is just another form of control


and the emptiness

just becomes deafening

now

some people and other creations

work in the now


some work for the future

and some for the past

the thinker

a statue i have seen

and ridiculed so many times

until i found my self being there


escapism is a harsh mistress to serve

what i want

when what i want became so important to me

what i do not want became equally important to me


now that is a clue

fears

when fears are not faced

we give them the power to rule us

Narcissus and Goldman

a book by Herman Hesse

that i read a long time ago


was about the duality we experience here

it seemed to me


i liked the book a lot

fear

my conduct with myself

has allowed what that word represents

to become far to great and influence on my self


and i have cultivated that situation

of my own free will

cause i didn't know what i was doing


until a friend reminded me of what he had seen

and i remembered something about my self


and i had been abusing the child that i am

life

what do one do

when life is down there on the floor

and life ain't got no floor

the secrets we keep from our self

one way to seperate our self from our self

from life


life has no secrets

life is all that is


all those people you like

and all those people you do not like

and all that other stuff

that is what we are

am pretty sure

am pretty sure

they don't play foot ball in nepal

but may be they do

i do not know for sure

running

when we run from what we are afraid of

we only run from ourselves

and wind up alone


wind up is probably a clue

as is a loan

mary

a pretty word

probably once a pretty girl


and i am definitely not religious

but i really like the girls

the old ones

sometimes the young ones

think the old ones know something


mostly they don't

but they were there

which makes them old ones


and of limited value

to the new ones

the girls

if it were not for the girls

this stuff would not be worth doing


and most of the girls i have known

have no idea what i just said

and still wonder if i like them

governments

govern ments


governments lie

as has become their nature again in our time


freedom can be a scary word

depending on where one is with ones self


and security is such a stupid word

because that word lacks freedom

hey noam

you still out there


have been hiding out for a while my self

and wondered about you


that's an email i didn't send tonight

the flames

the flames go up

and water goes down

and wood tries to bridge the gap

and air is in be tween

when we seek a machine

that will tell us what to do

we go in harms way


and logic is a mechanical part of our self

and not all that natural


good judgement is only valid

if one is judgmental

and am not a big fan of that crap

although i have been there

an old man

what i am getting to be

never expected to get to be that


careful kind of bored me

little old frady cat that i am

we may not always get the feet we want

but we always get the feet we need

has been my experience


always is actually pronounced all ways

smoke

smoke goes up

as does fire

water goes down


and that's the way it is


the wind can push us around

and life often or sometimes does


my friend has an office

but he is not an officer


what does one do

as our gods die at our feet

we be who we are

if your me

we are not all the same

that is what factories do


life is not a factory


life is random chance

in all directions at once

without ever leaving home

is what i have seen

need

we don't actually need anything

but sometimes we think we do


only the seriously retarded think


awareness is not a product of thought

although it sometimes tries to be


and being is not through effort found

fear and rejection

rejection is a response to fear


to reject others

is to lose a part of our self

and life is an affirmation

and not a lose

life

most of the time

life is pretty scary

sometimes not so much


and the result of all that little stuff

in some ways is me

be quiet with your self

if you can't do that

there ain't much reason to continue this conversation


and those barking dogs out there

ain't really all that import ant


they are the nonsense

that we are taking far too seriously

what do you do

what do you do

when you got no place to go


obviously you be where you are

as one can

losing

losing some thing

most of us are very afraid of that situation


capitalism is a disease

secrets

the  most dangerous ones

are the ones we keep from ourselves

and the lies we tell our self and others

to keep the secret hidden from view


no openness in that situation

no real direct experience of our true nature


living a lie may seem like fun for a while

but it leads to serious problems

sooner or later


our truth is all we really have

and living a lie is cheating our self

and all those others we be with

home

actually have no concept of home


home is where ever i am


whether i like it or not

right and wrong

to believe in either one

is to have a serious misunderstanding

first we choose

and then we loose

has been my experience

dangerous

we are only dangerous

when we reject our self

that which we were born to be

war

so popular in our time

am no longer a fan of war

and have not been for a long time


i still remember how terrible it can be

and to forget would be to be ignorant again


courage is a game for idiots


have been there

simplicity

perhaps the greatest gift of all

hope

perhaps the dumbest idea of all

the carrot we dangle in front of our self

spelling

never got very good a spelling

cause i don't really care

loaning

the only safe way to loan

is to not be concerned with getting it back

anything else is dangerous

for all of us

secrets

keeping secrets from our self

is an unwholly act

and leads to unwholly action

and we become vulnerable to others

that pursue unwholly acts and actions

what we want

is the source of our limitations

money

perhaps the greatest curse of all


the human experience is being distorted

by the unnatural environment

that money has created


money is not a creation of nature

money is the creation of man

and we were better off without it

but i do like a hot shower


we come here

and we leave here

which is the gift

if we don't interfere with our self too much

the american dream

was just a dream

with no respect for natural order

or awareness of what actually is


awareness is not a product of thought

but the mess we see in our world is

who do you love

when you can't love your self

the word of man

something i have not yet stood up to


cause it kind of scares me


once i was probably a woman

although i don't remember that anymore

suffering

my friends have found it pretty terrible

to take part in where i am


as have i

the laundry basket

a place that i have been

Neglected Aspects of Sufi Study

by Idries Shah


a little book i have been reading


again


i am a small man

as is my nature


my father

and the occasional friend

was a great man


and a couple of girls i have known

what do you get

what do you (meaning me) get

when you don't give the girl

what she wants


usually nothing


we shall see what today has in store

exercising

i was exercising because i was afraid

which is the wrong reason to do anything

being rejected

being rejected is the most difficult

when by those that have been accepted

liars

liars cultivate narrow mindedness in me


am not a big fan of that crap

and actually it really pisses me off


but i still like life as it actually is

even though it is sometimes hard

and sometimes soft

and sometimes not there at all

wanting

there is what you want from me

and don't want from me

and what i have to offer


heaven and hell are states of being

and certainly not locations

i live in oklahoma

they call it a bible belt state

or a christian state

but they put people in cages more than most

and want some others killed sometimes

legally

what ever that means

and forgiveness is in short supply


i read what jesus said

and it wasn't much like that

if i am afraid to face my self

i will never be able to face you


which is the rest of my self


and rest appeals to me in our time

life

one thing i have learned

life is not under our control

there is no way to know

where we will be tomorrow


we will just have to wait and see


yet so many seek to predict that situation

and predict what we should do


being is a lot different than that stuff

why can't we be nice to each other

because we are so narrow in our scope

we like what we consider good

and do not like what we consider not good

and life is all that is

all that we see and do not see

is who and what we are


we sure do complain a lot

not much fun to be had there

and no happiness at all


to complain is to poison ones self

and all the rest of us

and our little world

if anyone wins

the rest of us lose

fighting

a stupid word


we just wind up fighting ourselves

a human being

that used to be so simple

before the age of endless lies

LS/MFT

not many out there know what that means anymore

am one of the last lucky strike smokers

escape

so many seek escape in our time

and then there is none

and life is all that is


and even what is not


life leaves nothing out

fear

just something else to face


running from our self

just gets us no where

which is no fun to be


isolation is a stone killer

and life is all that is

the stillness

sometimes the stillness

can be so loud

if we know how to here


and i didn't misspell here

everyone

everyone and every thing

is my friend


i forgot that for a while


as have a few of my friends

a problem

i am the only problem i can have


if i see you as a problem

i am lost

resistance

so much of that in our time

and we are only resisting our selves



and we were taught to

by those that weren't willing to understand

sleeping beauty

there are so many in our time

and dreams are such a torment

all others

what we are


and our response to others

is also what we are

worship

if we could worship each other

and our self

instead some idea of a god we don't know

we would perhaps be better off


english is the only language i speak in our time

but i feel in lots of ways

the reminders

what some get to be


i can't forget but i don't remember what

a line from a leonard cohen song

that reminded me of me

winning

one has to lose

to know what winning actually is


have forgotten what i was about to say

but it was about the beautiful losers

and how gracefully they lost

proud

was proud of my self for a while

not so much any more


was afraid of me for a while

not so much of you any more


we are the same

and rejection is no longer

my middle name

if i am scared

i instantly become dangerous


i instantly become a fan

of self preservation

which is taxidermy


not sure why i would want to be a stuffed animal

unless i was terribly confused

i am scared of my self

the only reason

for any one

to be scared of me

what should i do

i only asked one person that question

and his response to that question was

i don't know

your going to have to work that out for your self boy


i never asked any one else that question

although i did wonder for a while

life and nature

life and nature are a process of becoming

and in our time

and for a long time

humans have been interfering with them a lot

and i am in a nice mood tonight

but this is still a great crime


we no longer harmonize with life and nature

we conquer and reshape life and nature

as we think life and nature should be

mostly for our own profit

and to our certain down fall

because no one is that smart or qualified


life and nature are no longer cherished

and we are the cause

and so damn proud of ourselves

and our ugly and toxic creations


life is our creator

and nature our mother

and they and we are one

lies

there are the lies others have told us

and the lies we told our self

enforcing the rules

some people just don't fit in with that

which is the gift of our time


some of us just could not be what we were told to be

and some of us were not told anything

some people

wind up liking to enforce the rules

that have been enforced on them

but not all

thinking

thinking is a dead mans dream

said that earlier

and felt like saying that again

the moon

a dead planet

and no longer a source of light

but it still reflects the light

which is it's current assignment


once i was of the astrologers

and once i was of the warriors

and some other stuff before that

and after that


thinking is a dead mans dream


my only friend

doesn't know what to think

making a mountain out of a mole hill

ain't very bright

but making a mole hill out of a mountain

ain't very bright either

wanting

the greatest curse of all

as is not wanting

religions

one reason i don't care much for religions

is we all wind up being on separate teams

when actually we are all on the same team

when we are just being


being is not a passive state

although it can be


our mind can only be clear

when we are being


life and awareness of life is a gift

being

trying is not being

as is thinking


and all our training and conditioning

all our attitudes and fears and hopes

are not being


and seeking anything outside your self

is also not being


being is life without effort or resistance



and pride is a stone killer

am lost and alone

and not sure what to do about that


seems a pretty dumb thing to do


being is the point of life

look what we have done

to our sacred little world

and to our fellow creatures

and to our selves

i do love you

in what ever way i can

accepting you

perhaps the only thing i have gotten right


and the only thing i have gotten wrong

the one thing you should never do

is take me seriously

and the other thing you should never do

is take yourself seriously


not sure if that is decent advice

but is where i am tonight

what do you do

when you don't know what  to do

you just be yourself

and see what comes next


i have found that can be a problem

if your believe in problems


am not much of a fan of that crap


think i will go away now

the ability to influence people

saw an old movie about that tonight

it made me wonder about me


i may just shut up


it seems i should


people deserve themselves

the silent man

perhaps we should follow the silent man



perhaps we should not follow

good and bad

when the idea of being a good person came into being

people came to accept some parts of themselves

and reject some parts of themselves

and this duality created an evil twin

and wholeness was lost

we are all the best and worst of everything

but to accept the part we think is good

and reject the parts we consider bad

puts us in conflict with ourselves

and conflict with ourselves

puts us in conflict with those we call others

and great conflict is upon the land


we are all that we are

and rejection of the truth is a great crime

and the price is what we see today


and the cure is to cease rejecting ourselves

to be governed

anyone that wishes to be governed

wishes to be a slave

of those who wish to govern

who i call control freaks

on my kinder days


anger and violence and war

don't make the world a better place

and neither does capitalism

has been my experience

or any other ism or idea we come up with


ideas are figments of our imagination

and of no value at all to life


awareness is not a product of thought

confusion and conflict are products of thought

winning

if anyone wins

we all lose

getting your ass kicked

what many football players and fans experienced today

life is the winner and the loser

the kicker and the kicked


all is what we are


even that jerk you don't like

and the jerk that you do


life is me

and them

and now

and ever more

the girl

sometimes the girl bees with me

sometimes she don't

all

you are all

i am all

we are all that is

and is not

serious

as soon as we take our self seriously

we are lost

winning and losing

so many today

think that winning is the only point of the game


and i am the guy that says

winning is far more dangerous than losing

if your me


and maybe even you


life never wins or loses

life is


you only win if you think you do

and you only lose if you think you do


life is the great affirmation

and as they say sometimes

i am


i was raised on football

and knocked down by life


don't take my self so seriously anymore

most of the time


serious is not a very fun mistake to make

hey bea

you still out there


terri still remembers meeting you


and she liked you

sometimes i choose

sometime life chooses


seems fair to me

and the great trick is

loving all that is


don't much like admitting it

but am still working on that


or perhaps that is still working on me


learning is a strange mistress

and i am a lover of girls


as i can

i am here to support you

and i am also here

to tell you you don't need me to support you

the girl is scared of me

but actually she is not

she is scared of herself

and blaming that stuff on me


i didn't do what she said i did

but i did do something

wanting me

now that's a curse i have faced


and a couple of girls i knew


me and them two girls

didn't get much out of that


this and that is just bullshit


we are all that is

woman

i no longer want anything from woman


but i have wondered

if she still had anything for me


wondering seemed kind of natural at the time

authority

there is natural authority

and there are those who claim authority


authority can not be claimed

authority can only be affirmed


and so many lie in our time


and the children pay the price


and lewis is not pleased


and sometimes pissed off as hell


and he can't seem to help it


still much work to be done

control freaks

people that learn to control themselves

become control freaks

and expect other to control themselves

them selves is the clue

shield

some have shielded themselves from what is happening here

and some have just turned away


the latter has been my attempted escape

yes and no

yes is willing

no is unwilling

such is how we divide ourselves in our time

open to all

am pretty sure

that will turn out to be

the scariest thing i ever said to myself


have usually been pretty selective

need

we only seem to need

and only for a while

no ledge

no thing to stand on

courage

a false god

as is knowledge

all

what we are

kindness

the was of sharing

kindness

a way of sharing

knowing

the one that knows

has not concept of knowing


which is what i saw here


am not sure what seeing means

help

not sure what that word means

how can life know its self

how can life know its self

if it can not face its self


it is the clue

as are we all

mean

there is meaning as in meaning

and meaning in mean


they are both bullshit

and of no value at all


as is bullshit


i have met the head bullshitter

and he was me


perhaps there is still more


perhaps still more is a clue


perhaps i should take no action

mean

life is often harsh

but have not found life mean


did find a couple of peep hole that were


survivors just do what they can

meaning

what if life has no meaning

means

am not sure what means means

losing

and perhaps losing

is the gift


aries is i do

leo is i am

sag is i was


pisces is where we meet


once i was of the astrologers

and once of the warriors

the fighting men


now i am just here

and not so sure what all this means

am not quite sure what it means to win

but don't much care for losing

we the people

we haven't asserted our authority much lately

and the powers that be

that are in control in the current time

hope we have forgotten how to

God

all that is


the only way i can do that word

war

war is a disease

a contagious disease


no one wins a war

and we all pay a terrible price


anger is a form of self pity

and greed perhaps the greatest curse off all

the baby with no arms

for the child

if no one touches them

or bees with them


if no one bees with you as a child

it is very hard to be with another


to be with anyone


to be with self


but it's not impossible

if life doesn't come back

if life doesn't come back to me

i will just wither away

winning and losing

if no one wanted to win

no one would have to lose

to keep the balance

one way i can tell

one way i can tell if people are dealing with their self

is if i don't have to feel it

or deal with it

or have to be it for them to like me

hell

hell isn't some place you are sent

after doing some thing that wasn't good

or godly


hell is a situation with ones self

when the truth of one's self

can not be faced


and those people selling hell




not quite sure what to say about that situation

a human being

to be a human being

one must recognized ones strengths

and ones weaknesses

and complete the journey

without doing any harm


that is what i see

modern marvels

all these modern marvels

are the curse of our time

is what i see

conflict

our conflicts with others

are because of the conflicts within our selves


we blame others for our anger

when we are the source of our anger


our fears and anxieties

are created by our thoughts


awareness is not a product of thought


we seek what we want

we seek to avoid what we don't want

and become oblivious to what actually is


being is the only peace


most of us are lost in thought

being a girl

a tough draw

in our time


but all draws are tough in our time

here in the land of the unnatural act


act is the clue


we are born to affirm life

yet so many deny who they are

and claim to be something else


and some just cry


as i have so often

the problem

most seem to think the problem

is our relationship with others

the problem is our relationship with our self

the ultimate stupid word

as is know

promises

restrictions we place on our self

which restrict our freedom

usually for an insecure person


promise is a really stupid word

created to keep us in line as they say

winning

winning is not the point of the game we play


perhaps it is how we play the game


i don't actually know

a want

is an affirmation of lack


and such is not possible

as long as i still want

i am a cripple


a want is an affirmation of lack

an old proverb i just made up

or was perhaps given to me

which is more probable


if i can't let go of you

will probably never be able to be with you

vengence

vengence is a terrible word

and not worth my serious consideration


make them pay

lead to capitalism

and our downfall


there is no price for life

life is priceless

i actually have more than one friend

which may be a record in our time

my wife

she is a modiste girl

as is her nature


and a flagrant girl

as is her nature


and a dangerous girl

if you push her to far


and my friend


she is a lot like my other friend

life support

one must be life support

to receive life support


there are many here today

claiming to be seeking life support


but they are actually seeking personal gain

which is not life support


and your efforts will be in vain


to actually help another

requires actually sharing their pain


welcome to heaven

secret

i also find that a false god

yet secrets are so popular in this time

this or that

this or that

or both

or neither

or neither either one


am not sure what both means


and neither makes no sense to me at all


all is the clue

courage

the little mans god

if i were sure

i probably wouldn't be being me


probably is a pretty arrogant word


we still like to be with that part in secret

bad

the dark side of good


and no one knows what good is


yet so many people lie

the dogs

there is a time to let the dogs play

and a time to tell them to shut up


and the trick is

not to forget what time it is


this is for my friend j


didn't want to say her name

poetry

wrote poetry for a while


but not in a long time

comments

we seem to be down to me


i can't seem to take politicians seriously

our problems

our problems

can only be with our self


no matter who we accuse of

being responsible for that

courage

a false god

and of no value at all


all is the clue

anger

an expression of self pity


and then bad things happen

the point of life

some people think the point of life is to get what they want


the point of life is to be who we are


a human being


we are mostly humans thinking

and wanting and fearing


life does not have to be that way

salvation

salvation is not for sale

and certainly cannot be earned


salvation can only be a gift

and yielded to


because life is free

am not all that scary

but am pretty devoted

to what i consider truth


am still looking into that stuff

a statement of fact

you mess with young girls

you answer to me

as long as i can


and i am a male human

here in this body


and my father was a man

sometimes we choose a higher standard

sometime a higher standard chooses us


which is not necessarily

under our control


control is such a stupid word

and most everyone is fascinated by that word


control is the gift that just keeps on taking

us winners and loosers

had more in common than we know

to have always lost and never won

is also very misleading

to have won and never lost

is very misleading

winning and losing

someone who has never lost

has no concept of winning

and someone who has never won

has no concepts of losing


he who has won and lost

is potentially more aware than  most

here in our time

you come in with nothing

you come in with nothing

you go out with nothing

and there is nothing in between


all that is a lot to be open to

to reject you

is to reject my self

and i cannot seem to to that

but i have tried

am tired

am going to bed now


bed is a strange word

not sure what it means


and it may be the final clue

there ain't no it

this is all me

to be with an other

i have to be able to survive an others pain

and our time has so much pain

if you are avoiding your self

you will certainly be avoiding me


a voiding is a clue

void is a big empty

straight arrow

straight arrow

what i thought i once was

but actually i am drawn to curves

today

now that is an other story

and do not know what that means either


am giving up hyphens

yesterday

i don't know what yesterday means

and i don't know what tomorrow means

but i have to be me

as i can

all the time

the land of you con me

the land of you con me

was born there once

and lived there for a time


not so much any more


more is a real funny word


as long as you don't take it too seriously


it is a harsh and brutal mistress to serve


some people still think they are things


some of us still think

and awareness is not a product of thought


perception may be a better word

one thing i have learned about me

am never going to be manageable

what do you think sugar


i can't even manage my self

sure don't want to hire someone else to


and probably won't offer myself to some control freak

to be accepted and rejected

to be accepted and rejected

in such an efficient manner

is a pretty terrible place to be

if you are that which is being accepted and rejected


and ultimately for whoever is doing the accepting and rejecting


as i have said so many times before

life is all that is


all is what we are


selection is a game for idiots

i may not be who you are looking for

but i still am

wanting me

perhaps the greatest crime of all

if you want to possess and own me

for your very own

cause i was born to be free

the study of the human neuroses

the story of my life

part of me studies life

and life is intangible

which is why science is such a waste of time


humans today mostly accept what they like

and reject what they don't like

and life is all that is


to be accepted and rejected so regularly

is very confusing

and often leads to what we call insanity


i like what i like

because it feels good


i reject what i don't like

which is not very gratifying

and it gets to feel rejection of what it is

which does not feel very good


that is the nicest thing i can say about that stuff


so many today go to that safe place

where they don't feel anything

a little poetry

truth is


truth is not through effort found
accept what is  -  don't search around
for truth exists in all you see
there is no way this could not be

a narrow mind can be deceived
so open up and be relieved
of all confusion  -  fear and dread
that stuff's all in side your head

you can see if you'll stop thinking
it dulls the mind like too much drinking
an open heart is all you need
let go all the senseless greed

you try and try and just get nowhere
then you bitch and claim it's not fair
don't try to force it and you'll see
that love and life and truth are free

your mind can see  -  but you must let it
try too hard and you'll regret it
a willing heart is all it takes
effort just puts on the brakes

it's all been  -  there is no new
tho this is known by such a few
life itself is all creation
and love eternal celebration

comments

these bastards don't comment

but what do you say to that


i probably wouldn't either

the lucky strike man

that would be me

have smoked lucky strikes for many years now


there are those

who have told me

that lucky strikes cause cancer


and i have told them

that the fear of cancer causes cancer


and wondered why they promoted that crap


that was before i researched where i had been being


being young and dumb was where i was born

and mostly i don't mind


and i don't mind saying

being afraid of cancer causes cancer

and that fear is being cultivated in our time

by the little pricks that would rule us


am no fan of being ruled

but don't expect to win the next election


which is all about

who will rule us for the next four years


i am no fan of rules


and knowing my wife has made me a little nicer

than i actually am

she is a kinder part of me

than i had seen before


as was my other friend                                  

9.01 pm

what the clock said when i had this thought

not sure what time it is now


sometimes i still wonder

and sometime i still know


but mostly i still wonder

being human has it's limitations

dis-ease

not being comfortable with ones self


dis-ease leads to disease

it disables our immune system

once i felt like saying something about all this

now i wonder why

courage

courage was my grandmother

she died before i was born


and here we are

the invincible one

a girl i once knew

and still do


saw a picture of her once

i still remember


one must be still to remember

has been my experience


and remembering can be painful

if you weren't really there the first time

one or the other

to choose is to lose

thirds

one third is spent sleeping

one third is spent thinking

and the final third is spent

wondering what one/we just did

or didn't do


until we don't think so much

and give being a chance

truth

that which is sacred to some

not so much to others

a soft rain

a soft rain allows us to be more organic

not so much gets washed away

unkind

so much unkind here

was born in a sad little world this time

so little kindness

and most don't even know what kindness means

but some of the people here act like they do


i don't much care for acting

such is ok in the movies sometimes

not so much in everyday life

courage

a false god

one i have tried to face

many times

apologize

not sure if i should ever do that

especially not for being myself

being old

being old

wondered about that for a while


and later realized

that was not possible


life is forever new


as old as i am

am constantly being exposed to something new

sometimes when i look at you

sometimes when i look at you

i see me


but not all ways

i have a sexual attraction to the girl

and she became afraid

this control freak land i live in

some call it the land of the free

i call it the land of crippled children

where the rules are endless

and freedom a lost art

and everyone is afraid of the dark

which is just our imagination

just another product of thought

like all this other stuff


thought is a crippling disease

and of no value at all

awareness is not a product of thought

but oblivion is

welcome to my world


couldn't sleep tonight

and decided to get up and complain about what i have seen


freedom has no rules


freedoms just another word

for nothing left to lose

now that made sense to me

there is no security in freedom

no jails or prisons

or even any death penalties


forgive me if you can

and if you can't

hi


cause there ain't no that

there is only we and me

the boy

the boy is not qualified to evaluate the fathers position

until he has evaluated his own position


and the same goes for the girls

the girl

the greatest question of all

if you happen to be a man


am a big fan of all

life

real life has no past

the catch

not much of a catch

even here in the land of the caught


life never ment to be a little place

but here i am

capitalism

the latest form of slavery


just because they say you are free

doesn't mean you are


life has nothing to do with how we think


thinking is a retards dream


and we are so many

and thinking is so popular


thinking is retrospective

and of the past

and life is always of the now

freedom

that which i would serve

if i knew how

comments

that don't happen much here

if you seek salvation

stay close to home


and never approach freedom

the killers

what do the killers do

when killing won't help


and so few recognize the truth

being old

never wanted to be that

but here i am


was born in 44

1944


was born that year


and perhaps died


kind of a tough truth to stand up to


and perhaps the story of my life


which i have stood up to

as is can


and this sure ain't a brag

religions

religions have rules of conduct

as do governments

am no fan of rules of conduct

they restrict freedom

the friend

perhaps the hardest thing to be

caring

the scariest game of all

to be loved by a girl

when one is such a stupid man

is kind of amazing

if your me


and a really cool girl

still likes me


maybe a couple

so it seems to me


and am no fan of it

we can only be free

if everyone is free


i know it ain't popular

but we are everyone

in some sort of way

courage

has been no friend of mine

the average male

the average male doesn't have a clue about girls


and the exceptional male even less

girls

girls never tell boys the truth

they are much wiser than boys

and far more experienced


and the girl knows

if i have to tell him the truth

he ain't who i am locking for

independent

there is no such thing as independent


although the idea has become very popular

the last of the lucky strike smokers

that would probably be me


the last of the pall mall smokers

died a while back


as far as i know


far is a scary word


as is know

some of us are hear to put out the fire

and some of us are ignition sources

and some of us are just here


and just wonder

what is going on


and are not much sure

who on is


yet sometimes it's me


and am often so ashamed

some of us are born

some of us are born

for those who survived

some of us are born

for those who did not

life on a hand shake

is different than life on a contract


life is not about lawyers


and there ain't no cure for love

surrender

we appear to have two parts

one that desires to surrender

and an other that don't


not sure at this point if peace is even possible

defenseless

the only path to freedom and peace


the shield is as much an instrument of war

as is the sword


that sure ain't going to be popular

but if we don't quit fighting

we will never find peace


the desire for conquest and domination

has led to hell on earth

young dogs bark

young dogs bark

because they are afraid

old dogs bark

because it is all the know


it is the clue

to all us educated ignorant people


when life became all those it's to us

we became isolated and alone

and afraid of our selves


our many selves

trying

the curse of our time


and so little interest in being

my sister

i still like her

but she has no use for me

sound

sound is much slower than light


if you only heard something

you probably didn't see

girls

the only hope this little world has

and this little world doesn't support girls anymore

it just uses them


and i am no fan of the current system running this show


i am no fan of systems

or science

or religions

or capitalism

or governments

or pride

or shame

or salvation

or any of that other stuff being offered to me here


without truth we are nothing


and although truth is a popular word

most people i have known

want no part of truth

except for a very few


and courage still scares me

and am no fan of fear

courage

a false mans weapon

and only designed to impress the girls


and of no value

when facing another man


if you can find one

not caring

the greatest of all feelings

is free of caring


not caring is the opposite of caring

and the same as caring


hoping and wanting and longing

just leads to anxiety

has been my experience

hey sugar

this has always been about freedom


without freedom

we are nothing

life occasionally likes me

not because i got anything right

but because i didn't get anything wrong

cause i didn't have any idea

what was going on here

to admit you are afraid

to admit you are afraid

is to admit you are afraid


have forgotten the rest

as i so often do

to accept the cure

is to put the doctor out of business

which was not the plan

when all that money was spent

on his education

this and that

we are all a different blend of this and that

but essentially we are the same

a new post

and their ain't no such thing

wanting

the dumbest thing we do

and the source of great suffering


wanting interferes with being

a human wanting

is not the same as a human being


religion and capitalism have been a trap for us

we the people

we are working for money and salvation

and salvation can't be earned

salvation can only be embraced

salvation is free

as is life


this place is called the land of the free

but that is not what i see

we do so like to separate ourselves

which has lead to our downfall


upfall may be an option

once i was hope full

not so much anymore

what i have yet to face

now that is an interesting option


and perhaps it might be true


there's that it word again

hey girl

and some of you guys


you are trying to mug me

and i was mugged before you were born

a girl i know

is presenting herself as a submissive girl

and i ain't buying it


it is a really stupid word

as is that


this and that and it

are obviously forms of rejection

as are them and they

face yourself

all i know to say


perhaps the only way to be


if i have faced my fears

you won't be able to scare me with them


if i am hiding from my fears

you have something to use on me

and perhaps influence my behavior

fear and pride

probably the two scariest words

in the human language

fear

the one thing humans don't talk about


and not facing their fears

makes them victims

of those that manipulate fears


fear is only a problem

if you claim to not have any

pride

a terrible word


and to serve that bitch

is to suffer greatly


as i have learned so many times


and time is of no value at all

but i didn't yet know that


and that ain't really there


which really confused me

being

seems to be the greatest gift of all

and no one gets a vote


or even wants one


one is a very small word


and life is all that is

the clock says almost midnight

and am still up


not sure what that means yet

courage

a false god to me


i have never even been a little brave


getting drunk and acting silly don't count

the capitalist

the one thing i liked about him (or her)

was the efficiency


the one thing i didn't like

was the narrowness

right

don't know what right is


i mostly live by what feels acceptable to me

am not sure what that means


yet that is all i have

and still don't feel like i have anything


am pretty sure "having" is not valid


being is as far as i have gotten so far

and such is pretty scary sometimes

learned something about computers the other day

if you do one two three four five

you won't be able to do seven

if you haven't done six


computers do have their limitations

but life not so much


that's crap lewis

life has endless limitations


such is why life is so limitless

i still like getting drunk

and just running off at the mouth


sometimes thought i would grow out of that stuff


which made me a little sad


no one in their right mind

would want to grow up


no one in their right mind

would want


and i don't know what right means


and am becoming less interested in finding out


out don't sound like a very fun word to me

it seems to me

that we take ourselves far too seriously

which is distorting us (we the peep hole)

very seriously


we are becoming a threat to ourselves


and we are the people


and most i have blamed the politicians and the cops

and mostly the capitalists

who they worked for

and considered myself blameless

which was incorrect

i my case

which way will the wind blow tomorrow

to speak truthfully

i don't know


and on my better days

i don't care

the gemini capricorn conduit

seems to me to be 

after that it gets kind of scary 

cause i am not sure what i see

is really real

i make up a lot of stuff when i am insecure

to make me feel better

and now i think i may have really messed up

or maybe found the way

mostly i just wonder

and no longer seek knowing

which i now know to be a figment of my imagination

and i just claimed to know something

round and round we go

neanderthals

it appears to me

that we are a bunch of neanderthals

trying to act like we know what we a doing


and mostly to justify our cruelty to ourselves

and therefore to others

he who has questioned the way

and he who has not questioned the way

shall perhaps meet in the middle


maybe

standing in the halls of heaven

in the midst of so many wondering about hell


silly ideas can so infect the mind


and truth with no idea

courage

an evil bitch

that no one would embrace

and the great curse of our time


everyone is afraid of fear

and that is how fear wins


being brave won't help

the native population tried that


fear is the final frontier



kind of like facing you mean old uncle

who never liked you very much

and was pissed off about something

and one wondered if he knew you had had sex with his niece


and a couple of his cousins

and two of his sisters

all that is and is not

my word for god

demockracy

they say we get to choose

they say we should choose

they say we must choose



but what if choosing is not your way


choosing this or that

will deprive one of all that is

to run through the woods

to run through the woods

is one thing

to walk through the woods is an other

the retarded child

it's only problem can be

not accepting being retarded


or perhaps misdiagnosed

by the idiots that run this place


run is the clue

heaven

the three most popular religions

are selling that stuff

and doing pretty well


not sure what to say about that


except that heaven ain't for sale


or trade


commerce is the trade of the very small man

who wishes to become greater

and mostly just becomes smaller

and will drag us down with him

if we permit that situation

the neighborhood is quieting down

haven't heard any gunfire in weeks

maybe they are reloading

or maybe the war is over

now wouldn't that be something

all this killing and repression can't be good for us

and the united states has done so much of that stuff

as have so many others


oh lord

will we ever learn

and life is the only lord i know

as i can


and it probably ain't some weird guy

acting so important

or some silly girl

acting so important

and probably all of the above

and all of the below

courage

that which abandoned me

long ago


long before i got to this body

trying hard

a rather sad place to be

the last time i got fired

it cost me a job

that i was getting tired of

have always been lazy

except when i was inspired

The Essential Chuang Tzu

a good book

i liked it

the sacred trust

does exist in our time

tho rarely affirmed


in our time truth is mostly an embarrassment

and doesn't pay well

and will usually get you fired

or a trip to divorce court

which is a more expensive way of getting fired

they think and hope

they have found emilia earheart

know i didn't spell that right


they have probably found a japanese fighter plane

they are scattered all over the pacific

after the great war


and greater wars are to come

cause we just won't learn from our mistakes


we are having too much fun making them

to look at them

The Sacred Pipe

a book about how life once was

making decisions for the children

that should be minimal at best

maybe a little early on

but never sustained

each must find their own way

which is mostly not permitted in our time

and great chaos is upon the land


the natural order is no longer respected

and the planet and us creatures

are paying a pretty terrible price

which will only get worse

if we don't see what we are doing


a well trained child

does not turn into a free being


being is the clue

acting a certain way is a curse

if it becomes a lifestyle

life is not a lie

life is an affirmation

the antichrist

antichrist means antilife to me

and it's been upon the land for a long time now

and the christians are still waiting and hoping


jesus died a long time ago

as we all shall in our own time

mind

life is more real

when our mind isn't made up

i don't know

is becoming my favorite phrase


truthfulness can be a harsh mistress sometimes

depending on who you are speaking to

punishment

life does not punish

people have learned to punish

parents punish

governments punish

the three most popular religions punish

or promise punishment

some of us have learned how to punish our selves


life has nothing to do with punishment


reward and punishment are just tools of the control freak

and serving a control freak is a real bummer

what the girl told me

mostly the girl hasn't said anything

she just looked at me


but a while back

she told me


this may be hard

chief black elk

have been reading his words again

and the only goal

is to face ourselves


and goals is a very dangerous game to play

hey sugar

if your going to pass on life

your going to have to pass on me


and i made that as hard as i could

cause that's my nature

how can we love

that part of our self that we hate


completeness is a harsh mistress


wholeness leaves no thing out


and all things in


and all that other stuff that makes no sense

but is

courage

a really harsh mistress

don't serve her much anymore

the rain

life ain't so much fun

in oklahoma

if the rain goes away too long


and probably some other places

mission impossible

sometimes seems the story of my life

love and hate

if we can't embrace both what we love and what we hate

about our selves

a great convulsion will come upon the land

and sweep us all away

cause we are just trash

i tried mary wanna for a while

that didn't go anywhere


the girls just want

and they hardly ever share anything

too bored to drink anymore

and too bored to go to bed

what a place to be

usually i drink a little more

autism

how humans are responding to children

and all the chemicals we are exposed to

is probably where autism is coming from

letting the computers do all the work

first it makes you lazy

and then it makes you dumb

thinking you know

perhaps the greatest curse of all

and they wonder why i am crying

but i don't

poetry

has been gone from me for a while

knowing

a very little place to be

if the trash man likes you

you are probably doing ok


how we put out the trash

says a lot about who we are

the united states of america

the native populations worst nightmare

and now mine


they teach the girls not to be girls

and to buy their trinkets


just can't be a big fan of that stuff


am also not a fan of all these religions

that claim to know what i should be doing

or the capitalists who tell we what i should buy

or the lawyers who serve them so well

or the cops who enforce the laws

or those clowns that make them


and the girls are sacred

in spite of how they sometimes act


not even a fool would lie to the girls

comments

not so many of those

the truth of my self

now that changes the whole field of play

money

whoever came up with that crap

was an evil bastard

or maybe just ignorant

and all caught up in selfishness


the control freaks rule in our time

but all times pass


when people don't be with people

selfishness comes into play


wanting is the curse of our time

we no longer embrace and nurture ourself

and all our selves


wanting is a form of rejection

and self pity

as is anger which is soon to follow


the creatures of the field

those that we call animals

are far superior to humans in our time

and no threat to our little planet

as we humans have become


progress is a very dangerous game to play

and only embraced by those who don't know how to live


and now fear and shame

and their offspring pride

engulfs the land

and a some point

we all crumble into dust

The Essential Chuang Tzu

translated and edited by

Sam Hamill

and J. P. Seaton

gordon lightfoot

i've got a hundred more like you

but don't be blue

i'll have a thousand 'for i'm through


actually only had 27

but i tried


not so much anymore

now i only be with who will be with me


speaking only for myself

and not gordon

am not qualified to do that


and i don't mug girls any more


sometimes they still try to mug me

and i just watch


heaven seems to be a far away place

and not so close to me

there is up stairs

and there is down stairs


and a lot of stuff in between


and self is all we ever get to be


and no body gets a vote

the last time truth came around

the last time truth came around

i lied



as for the next time

we shall see

krisnamurti

i never really understood him


but in some sort of way i heard him


still not quite sure what that means



that is a weird word to me

winning and losing

most people today want to win


and a lot of people want to lose

and just get it over with


some people are not quite sure what to do


and then there is the rest of us

and i never thought a girl like you

could like a guy like me

hi sugar

adore

for some it is their nature to adore

and sometimes there is so little worthy of adoration

was kind of scared to be afraid

and not sure what else to be

other

an interesting word

not so sure other actually exists

the other side of me

if i can't face the other side of me

i will never be able to face my self

being with the body

not sure if i have anything more to say about that

but i usually do

assuming

assuming we know anything

can be dangerous

and usually very disappointing


mostly we have no awareness

of what we are actually doing


but we sure like acting like we do


i know i don't know

but mostly can stay open to what i don't know

and just keep up as i can

the courage to face me

in our own time

in our own way

is all there is for me


in our own time

in our own way


and being sorry

is just a product of trying to be right

promises

perhaps the greatest curse of our time

and there are so many


no one in their right mind would promise anyone anything

because life has yet to be determined

and we are not in charge


although so many claim to be

or claim to know who is


i just can't buy that crap

my advice

i don't know if you or i will win or lose

winning and losing is not the point of the game

my advice is

be who you are

not who you think you might be

or who you wish you were

or any other such nonsense


be who you are


i know such is not permitted even from childhood in our time

but life seems to require such things

and life is what we actually are

life is not a thing

but life is all things


what we are

is all we can ever be

and perhaps sometimes not be

for a while

courage

a blind mans fantasy

and the free mans curse

the shadow of a man

so far

the best i have managed to be

manage is the clue


life doesn't need a manager

yet we have so many


we is the clue

being lost

so many claim not to be


am not one of those


and some part of me is grateful

desires

tend to become very important to us humans in our time

has been my experience

and i am afraid to want anything

and i don't much like feeling afraid


bleep  bleep   bleep

and all that other stuff


being born here as been


actually not sure what to say about that


words seems so little


kind of like serving leftovers to your friends

wanting

now that would be a word to understand

wanting

the greatest curse of all time

and i mean what i just said


wanting is perhaps the greatest curse of all

and all is a lot

courage

as i have said before

courage is a false god

it claims to have no fear


fear is what we must face

to be free of fear

as long as we run from our fears

we are ruled by them

how it once was

as long a we make comparisons to past experiences

we are comparing a past moment to this moment

and life is always now


the past is only a part of us for a while


and most of us probably take the past far too seriously

has been my experience

we want yesterday things again

or don't want yesterday things again

and mostly we didn't even notice yesterday


have managed to get me pretty drunk tonight


even when we wish to step away from life

life never seems to step away from us

and is sometimes in pursuit of us


when life starts avoiding us

we are in real trouble

pride

no one in their right mind

or even wrong mind

would want to serve that bitch


shame is much closer

to the truth we most must face


those of us that were afraid of pride

and those that weren't

this is what we share

i drink

which often makes me forgetful

which is probably why i drink

although it didn't seem like that at the time

i was just wondering

praises sing

praises sing and night bells ring
all around this precious thing

places and faces and midnight races
all the while the nomad braces

more and more the onslaught rages
in the wind all ripped out pages

find me now  -  oh lord of love
we seek and pray thy long lost dove

will peace upon the land yet stand
must heart still face the burning brand

on and on the rage does rush
the bonds of shame a mighty crush

still the flame  -  it has not died
tho bled and fed on brutal pride

so far we hold the beach head slightly
no longer bold and brave and mighty

battered troops once fresh and rested
now reel and waver  -  nearly bested

the hope that once so filled the heart
still lives  -  yet in the smallest part

tho battered  -  scarred and mortal weary
at dawn we stand to face the fury

no longer brave we could be called
but no  -  in truth we shall not fall

to twisted minds that rule this land
with whip and chain in brutal hand

we will not yield the sacred trust
nor feed upon the moldy crust

which the beast does offer gladly
all inflamed and grinning madly

tho tattered rag  -  thy flag once proud
and bleeding feet  -  tho head unbowed

we face the dawn with shining faces
of doubt and fear there are no traces

for in thy time each heart does know
as life moves on its sacred flow

the soul of man will see the light
and move beyond this endless night

the whisper that i dimly hear
does speak that time may yet be near

oh yes  -  the force does feel some stronger
the soul cries out  -  not too much longer

the love long sought by this small band
does in truth feel near at hand

the stirring the the heart grows stronger
raging pain i feel no longer

the mission tho still unfullfilled
will be complete as life has willed

and light yet fill the hardest heart
and love shall reach the darkest part

in time the sorrows past will fade
and truth regain the world it made

for as the story does unfold
eternal love each heart will hold


pretty hokey stuff

it seems to me

but i still kind of like it


the poetry thing happened back in the 80's

to serve life

the only worthy goal

yet for most of us

including myself

we only serve ourselves

and what we consider

our own best interests

which makes us capitalists a heart

and a part of the great selfishness

which is so popular in our time

and the great insecurity

that goes with that attitude

the fear of loss

the fear of losing

what we think we have gained


awareness is not a product of thought

and thinking is of no value at all

and mostly just a curse

that one of our ancestors came up with

a long time ago

and was passed along to us


we do like thinking we know

which is the greatest delusion of all


clinging to straws

is just another way of drowning

perhaps a little slower

but not all that much

tonight

tonight is the hottest day i have experienced

since i have been here

and the moon is full and bright

secrets

secrets are only a problem

when we are keeping them from our self


living a lie is a terrible way to be

always afraid

and running from the truth


welcome to the world i see

except the creatures of the field

and a few others


Truth

a simple word


I Am

a simple statement


and for most today

Truth hides behind a lie

the natural world

there was a time

when people were born into the natural world

but that was long ago

before all this progress

and all these little toys we play with

a friend recently fell out of a tree and broke his shoulder

there are those in the medical profession

that i don't much approve of their response to that situation

when a doctor punishes a patient for not acting right

from his personal point of view

i don't consider him much of a doctor

and he is dragging out my friends discomfort

and that really pisses me off

my friend was trying to save a tree

that prick of a doctor is trying to save his reputation

and not the least concerned about my friends broken shoulder

Woman